What is your discipline style?

I use time outs with Mikayla...she has been in timout 3-4 times

Mostly for hitting her infant cousin (aidan) and a few times for severe disobedience (like if I tell her to stop doing something numerous times and she does not listen, when I know she understands me)

She has gotten a light slap on the hand for touching the stove knobs

How about you ?

Re: What is your discipline style?

My discipline style.

I will warn a few times but after that a light tap on the hand.

When I said no I say it VERY FIRMLY with a SERIOUS look on my face. Believe it or not Ella is 11 months old and she really understands when we say no to her.

Re: What is your discipline style?

Re: What is your discipline style?

I feel like I am all over the place with this since she's hit about 2&1/2. It's been so challenging. I never wanted to be the parent that yells but I lose my cool way too often.

We do use time outs and take things away but how much of a punishment is it when you kids says "And what else?" in reference to what are you going to take away or "Do I go in time out now"?

I am really hoping that I can get some insight and feedback when she goes to school on being a better parent in the department. I know another problem is that DH and I are inconsistent.

Re: What is your discipline style?

Posted by stephanief

Posted by GaryElla

My discipline style.

I will warn a few times but after that a light tap on the hand.

When I said no I say it VERY FIRMLY with a SERIOUS look on my face. Believe it or not Ella is 11 months old and she really understands when we say no to her.

oh, I believe it, mikayla cries when I say no....

Message edited 8/8/2008 1:32:12 PM.

Re: What is your discipline style?

I walk away... Most of his behavior stems from wanting attention or a reaction. Walking away is the most powerful removal of reinforcement - btw - that can be considered a time out - they don't need to be "put" somewhere - its a time out from reinforcement, so that works for the most part....

Re: What is your discipline style?

Ben is 13 mos old. I use a very stern, slightly raised voice and tell him "No" and shake my head. Usually that works and he'll either sit down and say "uh oh" or start crying. When it doesn't work, I'll do the same thing but also tap him on the hand or hiney to get his attention.

DH will actually put him in time out, which consists of him sitting on the floor with Ben and not letting him crawl away. Ben really gets upset because he doesn't like to be restrained in any way.

Re: What is your discipline style?

I am preparing myself for the flaming of a lifetime.

Noah gets time outs - but that will be ending soon.

Robbie does not get punished unless he causes physical harm to himself or others.

Yep. I don't punish him in a traditional way. And soon - when Noah has demonstrated a little more maturity and the ability to feel accountable for his actions - I won't punish him either.

I do express disappointment or frustration or anger when they do something that I do not like. I will raise my voice if I feel the need. But I am trying to teach them that they should be guided by their internal voice with regard to what is right and wrong.

Robbie is aware that there are consequences to improper behavior.. but the consequences are not necessarily traditional punishment. He has quiet, meditative time each morning. If he has done something disagreeable I ask him to think about those actions and if they had a result that he was happy with. HE endures punishment at school if he doesn't do what he needs to do.

It's not a perfect system - but when my kids apologize it is with genuine remorse. They rarely repeat the exact same improper behavior more than once. They are learning to be guided by an innate desire to do what they truly feel is RIGHT as opposed to what is forced upon them.

Yes it is new age. Yes it is kooky to most people. But it works for us.

Message edited 8/8/2008 1:30:27 PM.

Re: What is your discipline style?

Re: What is your discipline style?

Depends upon the situation...

In situations where he can hurt himself a very firm, loud (not yell but louder than normal speech), NO with a look stops him in his tracks..

In other situations..No, no, no, with a look and a wag of the finger usually does the trick. (I do the finger wag so he'll know what I mean when Im across a room or in a crowd)..

Im not doing the finger smack this time around. The girls used to smack my hand away when I tried to grab something from them that they couldnt have...Im seeing if this was part of the issue.

Temper tantrums I just walk away...

Im intending to do time outs...but we're not there yet.

Re: What is your discipline style?

Re: What is your discipline style?

Re: What is your discipline style?

SO for all you moms that a "firm no" gets results...

My DD is 19 mo. She obviously understands no and will often times stop the behavior. However, when I get angry and try to be really firm or raise my voice she looks at me straight in the eye and LAUGHS IN MY FACE. I continue to be firm with her but she just either thinks it is a game or tries to divert the attention and be cute.

SO what do I do?

Sorry to hijack

Re: What is your discipline style?

4 or 5 times Josh has been sent to his room....that's to stop me from yelling.

I haven't done that in months.

Usually no is enough. I am strict though, almost too strict, I have to work on it.

From birth I have expected him to act a certain way.

If he has a tantrum, he's usually tired or hungry...so I don't punish him for that.

If I am ready to leave the park and he's not, I will never stay, not for an extra second, now means now. So, he is really good at leaving the park or pool now.

I am not really into "timeout"

I will never say never, but I don't want to live my life around timers and a naughty chair.

We never had a naughty chair in my house, ever. It was expected we act a certain way. No means no. So I always try and follow through with that.

Re: What is your discipline style?

At the beginning (around 10 months) I started NO and that worked. Then I had do the angry eyes and that worked. Then it stopped working so I started tapping the hand or little butt and that worked for a while. Then it did not.

So I had to revise my strategy. What was next after a little tap on the hand?

Now at 13.5 months I say no. I slightly raise my voice with another No if it does not work and have a very serious look and face. To escale I remove him from the situation. Tell him I am not happy and ignore him. He usually stops at the 2nd or 3nd now especially if I raise my voice. He knows when I am not happy. Sometimes he cries and comes to me. He will cry even more if I tell him why I am not happy. I repeat the No and what he did. FYI.. he does not like that. Sometimes he smiles to persuade me he is a good boy.

I have a hardtime with the trying to hug me and the smiles. He does play the field. But I turn my head and get back my composure and serious look.

Re: What is your discipline style?

ds is 10 months old and he definitely understands what a firm "no" means. he will usually stop whatever he's doing. i then quickly distract him with something else, which seems to work very well.

as he gets older, i plan to use "time-out" if i need to - i.e. if "no" plus distraction doesn't work. i agree with the above poster who said that withdrawing attention (through time-out or walking away from the child) is one of the most powerful ways to eliminate a unwanted behavior.

Re: What is your discipline style?

Just NO and angry face. Sometimes it works , most times she just smiles at me when I make an angry face and it makes me smile too