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Tulip9
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/14 597 total posts
Name:
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Wedding question
Ok so someone that works for me for about 6 months is getting married- she talks about it all the time, she is having a big wedding and her venue only holds like 250 - she was sending out more invites than that blah blah she needed some No's- well the other day she hands me an invitation to her wedding and tells me she is inviting me....
Ok she hands me the invitation past the RSVP date- tells me to let her know don't pay attention to the date....
My name is not written on the invite nothing....
Clearly I am a B list - seat filler, she also invited like 3 other people from the office
Ok I am not going- I was just going to buy her something off her registry - that's fine right?
I just can't believe how tacky to hand me an invitation....
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Posted 3/11/19 11:04 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Wedding question
Yep tacky and yep just buy her a registry gift and call it a day.
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| Posted 3/11/19 11:11 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Wedding question
Ok, I can understand her not having your address and handing you an invite, BUT, to not have at least your name on the envelope AND that it is past the RSVP data AND that she has blabbed so many details about it, yeah, I'd just buy a gift from the registry and call it a day.
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| Posted 3/11/19 11:24 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding question
Yeah that's tacky and clearly you are a seat filler. I don't know if I would even get anything at this point but if you feel you must get something then I'd just do a small gift off the registry.
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| Posted 3/11/19 11:47 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Wedding question
So tacky, but better to just be the bigger person.
You can always take an old gift bag and use a sharpie to cross off your name from an old gift. LOL
If you don't want to do registry gift a nice picture frame is nice too.
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| Posted 3/11/19 12:28 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Wedding question
I would just say I couldn't go and not feel obligated to give a gift.
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| Posted 3/11/19 12:39 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Wedding question
Definitely B list but you can kind of expect to be B list being you don’t know each other that well yet. Plus she Invited more people than the venue called for etc. agree tacky to give after rsvp for sure.
I would decline and get gift off registry $50 max
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| Posted 3/11/19 12:41 PM |
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Bonsai
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/18 463 total posts
Name:
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Wedding question
I'd decline and probably not give a gift, but since she works for you, I'd suck it up and get something small off the registry.
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| Posted 3/11/19 12:43 PM |
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Wedding question
I would decline and just send something from the registry.
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| Posted 3/11/19 12:58 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by Bonsai
I'd decline and probably not give a gift, but since she works for you, I'd suck it up and get something small off the registry.
yep.
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| Posted 3/11/19 1:12 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Bonsai
I'd decline and probably not give a gift, but since she works for you, I'd suck it up and get something small off the registry.
yep.
Same
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| Posted 3/11/19 1:30 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding question
People are tacky. She must have had her reasons. Don't go, but I wouldn't even bother with a gift unless you wanted to. if she can't be bothered to treat you like a real guest she doesn't deserve a gift.
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| Posted 3/11/19 2:26 PM |
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Wedding question
Am I the only one that has no problem with being a B list guest? I'd be annoyed if she tried to pass it off as though I weren't B list, but it doesn't sound like she was trying to do that. There was no fake, "Oh, I forgot to give this to you 6 weeks ago..." If there is one thing wedding planning taught me, it's that you can't invite everyone, and sometimes you need to make cuts, but then if enough people say no, you may want to invite those people. I'd go just because I like weddings, especially ones that aren't full of people I need to speak to out of obligation. But if you don't want to go, definitely just send something off the registry. Sending something is nice, especially because you still work together, but it doesn't need to be anything expensive, especially since you were b-list.
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| Posted 3/11/19 2:55 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by starbrightgirl8
Am I the only one that has no problem with being a B list guest? I'd be annoyed if she tried to pass it off as though I weren't B list, but it doesn't sound like she was trying to do that. There was no fake, "Oh, I forgot to give this to you 6 weeks ago..." If there is one thing wedding planning taught me, it's that you can't invite everyone, and sometimes you need to make cuts, but then if enough people say no, you may want to invite those people. I'd go just because I like weddings, especially ones that aren't full of people I need to speak to out of obligation. But if you don't want to go, definitely just send something off the registry. Sending something is nice, especially because you still work together, but it doesn't need to be anything expensive, especially since you were b-list.
I agree with you regarding the B list. That wasn’t the tacky part- it was how she went about it. And also, You should always invite your B list before the RSVp date. As No’s come in, new invites go out. She went about it wrong for sure, but I don’t mind B list. Especially from someone I’ve known less than a. Year from work
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| Posted 3/11/19 3:14 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by starbrightgirl8
Am I the only one that has no problem with being a B list guest? I'd be annoyed if she tried to pass it off as though I weren't B list, but it doesn't sound like she was trying to do that. There was no fake, "Oh, I forgot to give this to you 6 weeks ago..." If there is one thing wedding planning taught me, it's that you can't invite everyone, and sometimes you need to make cuts, but then if enough people say no, you may want to invite those people. I'd go just because I like weddings, especially ones that aren't full of people I need to speak to out of obligation. But if you don't want to go, definitely just send something off the registry. Sending something is nice, especially because you still work together, but it doesn't need to be anything expensive, especially since you were b-list.
I agree with you regarding the B list. That wasn’t the tacky part- it was how she went about it. And also, You should always invite your B list before the RSVp date. As No’s come in, new invites go out. She went about it wrong for sure, but I don’t mind B list. Especially from someone I’ve known less than a. Year from work
Agree. You don't give someone an invite after the RSVP date has passed. That just screams tacky and bad etiquette.
Also, I have no desire to go to anyone's wedding that I know from work for less than a year... so this would be my perfect out.
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| Posted 3/11/19 3:26 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Wedding question
tacky.
no bueno.
we've all had to invite someone on the B list at some point in our lives, but this just screams lack of people skills.
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| Posted 3/11/19 5:40 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 8012 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by JandJ1224
I would just say I couldn't go and not feel obligated to give a gift.
this
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| Posted 3/11/19 8:03 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Wedding question
It is not about being B list. Everyone who has planned a wedding or large party understands that there is a b list. However, there is B list etiquette. 1. Address the invite. 2. Send out B list when declines come. 3. EITHER create another B list invite with a later RSVP date, OR send B list before the original RSVP date occurs.
These are a literal gift grab from new co workers, which really just makes things awkward at work. Everyone knows they are now B list. You look bad for doing it and they look bad not giving a gift. Bride put everyone in a terrible position.
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| Posted 3/11/19 8:19 PM |
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MrsMick
Baby #2 debuts in March 2016!
Member since 9/09 1977 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Wedding question
I have never done the B list thing and think it is distasteful to do so. People always know when they are B listed. I don't even send a gift at that point.
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| Posted 3/12/19 9:42 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Wedding question
completely unrelated to your question, but I just found it funny that she was worried about not having enough space because the place only holds 250.. If she really did invite alot of people like she said, clearly nobody wanted to go if she's gotta go with her b list
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| Posted 3/12/19 10:17 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Wedding question
I would decline and not send a gift.
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| Posted 3/12/19 11:49 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding question
Posted by MrsMick
I have never done the B list thing and think it is distasteful to do so. People always know when they are B listed. I don't even send a gift at that point.
I agree. B-lists are not standard practice and shouldn't be.
Message edited 3/12/2019 1:03:54 PM.
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| Posted 3/12/19 1:01 PM |
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