We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

So Noah turned 3 in January, and he is nowhere near potty trained...nowhere near it. We gave it the old college try in February, after a week it was clear he wasn't ready, so we went back to diapers. So nursery asked if we could give it another go this week, we started a week ago, and again its clear that he isn't nearly ready.

I'm bullet pointing this for ease of reading:

-He can't seem to tell us when he needs a wee wee.
-He won't go on the toilet, but he will do a wee wee on the potty if he sits there for a few minutes.
-He just stands there and does a wee in his pants and he is quite happy to walk around in it, he isn't embarassed or uncomfortable.
-He seems scared to sit on the potty or the toilet
-If I try to take him out of the room, he screams and goes mental
-When I try to get him to sit on the potty, he says "I don't need a wee wee"
-He can sit on the potty for 10 minutes enjoying "Humf" and no wee, when he gets up, he goes right into the hall and does a wee.
-Tonight he did a weewee standing looking right at me
-Monday, we went to the park with 5 pairs of pants, he wet himself 4 times....even after watching Harry Harrington do standing up weewees!
-He desperately wants to wear big boy underpants because he keeps saying to me "Underpants are for the daytime, Nappies are for the nighttime"
-He is IMPOSSIBLE to bribe, he is way too smart and he knows he is being played if you try to bribe him. Any other child you could bribe, not mine.
-Right after/during him wetting himself, he says "I need a wee wee"

Ugh, I am at the end of my rope again...I thought that if he just wet himself he wouldn't like it and he maybe would associate the feeling wet with the feeling of a full bladder. I don't see any signs that he needs a wee, except that he stands still (and he does that at other times)

So I am going to give it until Monday again and put him back into diapers for a few more weeks. We have a highly coveted place at a local school come September, and if hs isn't potty trained, well, he can't go to school and that means more money on daycare, more problems etc. Anyone have any good ideas? Books I can read? Orphanages I can take him to? Dickensian work houses? Thank goodness he is sooooo cute, thats his only saving grace!

Message edited 4/23/2009 2:54:59 PM.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

It just doesn't sound like he's ready yet. Some kids just aren't - I was 4 when I was potty trained.
































Stop thinking whatever you are thinking!!!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

I think you might be right Liza, nothing wrong with being potty trained late...but I do not want to give up this place at the school because of a silly issue like potty training...Oy vey! I hope the vicar will save his place!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

It sounds like he is not really ready. You have some time before September, don't worry!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

do you consider treats the same as bribes? With Sydney she would get an m&m everytime she went on the potty.
Have you tried the cheerio thing - where the boys try to aim for the cheerio.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Sounds like he is just not ready. Its frustrating because they will do it here and there and you think why can't they just be trained. I'm taking it easy with DD and just going with the flow after realizing with DS that this is one thing that no matter how much we try, we really can't make them do. Good luck.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Jillian gave me a hard time up untill I was on bed rest in the hospital having the boys.. she just woke up and became trained

Do not give up even if you have to bring a potty with you... i did~!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

sometimes social pressure works... can he spend the day with potty trained boys?

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Message edited 11/28/2011 8:16:01 PM.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

My DS was the same way - bribes didn't work, and he would wet himself and not even care (there were puddles in his shoes and he just walked around in them). We figured he's just very strong willed and wouldn't do anything until he was good and ready. We'd ask him a few times a day if he wanted to go on the potty but we wouldn't make a big deal out of it if he said no. He'd say he wants to wear the big boy underpants and we'd just matter of factly tell him they're only for big boys who go on the potty. We decided to take the very low pressure approach and it seemed to work. Just before he turned 3 1/2, he woke up one day and said he wanted to go on the potty and he was instantly trained. He's only had two accidents and they were our fault for not making him try to go potty before we left the house (and he hadn't gone since he woke up in the morning). He was trained day and night, naps and sleeping. It was the easiest potty training ever!!! If you can be patient and wait it might be your best bet. And every once in a while, get him excited about the school for Sept and remind him that they won't let him go if he doesn't go on the potty. Other than this long story, I have no other advice for you. Strong willed children cannot be bribed or intimidated and reverse psychology doesn't work. Good luck!!!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Message edited 4/23/2009 8:31:39 PM.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

I agree I just don't think he's ready. I say try again in 2-3 months. The summer time is usually an easier time to train. (Make sure you keep in track pants/shorts (easier to get on & off)

How about not a everytime you pee bribe. Try a "If you stay dry for X amount of days. We will take you to the shop & you can't get THE toy you want"

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

I used to teach 3 and 4 year olds. I used to have a "potty break" every 1 to 2 hours. The whole class would line up in front of the bathrooma nd go in one by one. Even the ones in pulls ups would "try" After a few months everyone in the class was potty trained. It must've been peer pressure...lolol
I would just keep guiding him to the bathroom every so often all day. (while you have him that is) Or what about a reward chart. Every time he goes wee wee in the potty he gets a sticker in the chart. After 4 or 5 stickers he gets a reward. Good luck!!!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Message edited 4/24/2009 8:40:22 AM.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Posted by lipglossjunky73

It just doesn't sound like he's ready yet. Some kids just aren't - I was 4 when I was potty trained.











Stop thinking whatever you are thinking!!!

Message edited 4/24/2009 2:32:23 PM.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Sounds like it is fast becoming the battle of the wills with little Noah, which ALWAYS leads to disaster. He's still young - I'd back off completely and let him come to it on his own. As long as it's *your* idea, he'll repel. Back off, and I guarantee, soon, he'll start doing it once he thinks it's ALL his idea.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Thanks for all your support.

The funny thing is, yesterday and today he gave ME stickers for going for a wee.
Ugh!

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you

Both my step-sons were a little over 4 when they were potty trained. The ped. just felt that they were not ready and didnt see the need to push them if we were willing to stick it out.

Re: We are a failure at potty training - its long I warn you