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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Wanted to share....
Someone posted this on a different board that I'm on... and I wanted to share.
Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "things happen for a reason", of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?
"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
"I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
"No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
"Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
"While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."
Message edited 4/9/2008 1:24:42 PM.
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Posted 4/9/08 1:22 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys

Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name: Mrs Dee
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Re: Wanted to share....
This is absolutely beautiful!
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Posted 4/9/08 2:04 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share....
Thank you for sharing that. I'm going to print it out and hang it on my fridge
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Posted 4/9/08 2:07 PM |
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babyquestions
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/05 579 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share....
That was great....
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Posted 4/9/08 2:08 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name: L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Wanted to share....
I actually cried reading this.
Amazing.
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Posted 4/9/08 2:11 PM |
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fullofhope13
Please stay little one
Member since 2/08 1158 total posts
Name: Helen
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Re: Wanted to share....
Thank you for sharing; very moving.
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Posted 4/9/08 2:11 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share....
I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I am going to print it out as well- and put it next to the poem that Lauren shared w/ us. I keep them where I can see them when I'm getting my shots, to remind me why I go thru this... it keeps me strong when I start to chicken out!
I know we all always ask ourselves "WHY ME?" and though I never have a great answer, this is the closest I've come to finding an answer.
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Posted 4/9/08 2:25 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes

Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share....
Very nice !
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Posted 4/9/08 3:04 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!

Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name: Lauren
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Re: Wanted to share....
This is beautiful. I think its a great idea to print these words of inspiration out where we can see them. Maybe I will put them into my journal.
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Posted 4/9/08 3:12 PM |
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karenk71
Love

Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name: Karen
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Re: Wanted to share....
I'm holding back the tears over here...that is so nice. Thanks for sharing.
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Posted 4/9/08 3:17 PM |
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italy0308
LIF Infant

Member since 12/06 147 total posts
Name: Dena
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Re: Wanted to share....
Thank you for sharing... I'm sitting here trying to hold back tears. I printed it out and i'm going to keep it on my desk.. thanks again
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Posted 4/9/08 3:48 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name: Michelle
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Re: Wanted to share....
I think I need to read this again at another time when I'm not so angry with god.
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Posted 4/9/08 3:50 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share....
Posted by MrsRbk
I think I need to read this again at another time when I'm not so angry with god.
It's funny you said that- I actually FMd one of my friends on here about how angry I am w/ God- and wondering where he is and how he could allow us to go thru us- because I feel like I'm being tortured... but I still found this to have a positive influence
Message edited 4/9/2008 4:00:18 PM.
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Posted 4/9/08 3:59 PM |
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