****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

and came with no food, and then talked about going out to dinner (MIL, FIL, 2 SIL's and niece) without us....

-Fine

Then changed their mind and ordered food in, after DH joked about being hungry...

so we ate, they used our paper plates that my mom brought over this week so we wouldn't have to worry about dishes for a bit, ate a bunch of our snacks, drank of the OJ in the fridge, etc...

I mean, I don't EXPECT anything from them, but I mean, use some common sense! My mom has come over and dropped off food for the past 3 nights along w/some other useful things, and our friends have offered to help with other stuff....you'd think that DH's own parents would know....I should know by now that they are so freaking clueless.....I always give them another chance in my head for me to like them, and they ALWAYS do crappy stuff



DH is so used to it now after so many years of his parents being like this, he rarely says anything but consoles me when I'm upset and says I don't know why they're like that, but that's just how they are



Sorry, just had to VENT!

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

I can relate, I can't count the number of snacks we went thru 2-3 weeks after DD was born. We were constantly entertaining and no one bought us anything

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

My inlaws don't use common sense with certain things as well. They come over pretty late to visit. We are either bathing our son or putting him right to sleep when they come. Sometimes when we're not even home they would call DH to tell him they are in our driveway, like we are supposed to leave where we are to go home for them. My son is 21 months and they never out of the blue bought him a little toy or any type of clothing out of the blue. My mom is always buying him stuff and making him certain foods to eat. My inlaws don't have anything in their home that would make you think they are grandparents. Nothing is child proof, no toys, nothing. They are pretty cold people too. My dh would tell me all kind of stories about his childhood which is pretty sad also stories on how they grew up which explains everything.

I keep telling myself they are just clueless and I really just ignore the way they act with certain things.

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

Wow, that's crazy!!

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

I am so sorry! My in laws used to be like this. DH came to my rescue big time with this one and said something to them. Now when they come they always bring bagels or take us out to eat. Perhaps if it comes from DH since they are his parents it will be better?

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

I completely get what your DH is saying.

My DH said something like, oh we love NY bagels and have such a hard time finding them here in NJ, would you mind picking some up for us when you come visit on XYZ date. We could eat some for brunch and freeze some. Now every time they come we get bagels and lox from them. We get the cream cheese, tomato, and cucumbers and the drinks.

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

I think it just comes from growing up in different families, and ultimately you can't let it get to you because it WILL drive you crazy.

We stocked the house up before we had my son because we knew we would have a ton of visitors. I wanted to have food on hand to feed them (or paper plates and cups in case we ordered out) My family was in and out the first few weeks and we would order food all the time. I'm sure we did the same with his family.

My mom did alot for me - but that's just who she is and what she does.

I have learned not to expect that from anyone else - it makes things so much easier! You have a newborn baby to focus on - don't let this stuff upset you!

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

Thanks, you're right...sometimes I get hung up on this and have to remember I can't change people, its not worth stressing out about, thanks

Re: ****VENT**** IL's visiting 1 week postpartum

i'm so sorry hon.... you deserve better!!!!!