Update: DH Vent

Anyone else up for smacking their DH (or mine) today?!?!? DH and I have somewhat different religious beliefs, which I won't go into in this thread.
His changed after we were married. We spent dinner w/ my parents last night and they argued a lot in front of us.

DH was withdrawn and quiet the rest of the night after we left there, instead of just talking to me about it.
Now all of the sudden he's telling me this morning that my parents need marriage counseling and he's going to tell them this today... and give them a # to someone who is his type of religion and is a marriage counselor.

I have told him in the past to leave my family alone and not to preach to them but to just decide he's doing this to my parents w/o talking to me about anything is going too far.. I'm seeing red right now. And no, this isn't meant to be a religious debate, so please don't post anything that will turn it in to one.

UPDATE: Thanks everyone. I was literally seeing red this morning- I was SO annoyed. DH must've realized how he was acting and that he def. wasn't taking the right approach w/ me so he backed off and apologized. He told me he just really doesn't like seeing our family like that and he wants to help. I told him maybe he should focus on how to keep his own marriage in tact by not going all caveman on me - like I'm so stupid and he has all the answers. Anyway, hopefully next time he'll use better judgement- though I know deep down he's trying to help.

Message edited 1/15/2008 3:25:34 PM.

Re: DH Vent

I agree, I would be so angry at DH. It's not his place to interfere, and it's certainly not his place to try to force his religious beliefs on them.

Re: DH Vent

IMO, thats completely out of line and this is a desicsion that the two of you should make together.

You know your parents very well... were they just having an off night or do you feel there are more problems there?

Re: DH Vent

i would be mad too. newlywed or 20 year veteran--i think its a pretty common knowledge rule that you don't try and get involved with your IL's issues!!!

i think i would prepare my parents for him -- so that they aren't totally shocked and things might be said that shouldn't in anger. let them know that he was uncomfortable with the fighting and, without your approval, is going to approach them about it.

Re: DH Vent

are you kidding? Who is he? He knows best? Who does he think he is, Dr. Phil?

Tell him to mind his own biz and get a life. He doesn't need to mettle.

Re: DH Vent

I think many parents would feel it's out of line for their OWN adult children to suggest something like that !! -

He is totally and completely out of line and if DH dared to open his mouth to my parents and suggest such a thing we'd need a trip to the counselor too !!

It's one thing for him to voice his concerns to you, it's entirely another to suggest it to people twice his age with twice his experiences ..........

Re: DH Vent

The only thing that keeps my aunt and uncle married is their arguing! It's not up to DH to determine was is right or wrong about someone else's relationship. As long as there isn't obvious abuse going on, he should really stay out of it.

I think if he butts in, all his ILs will be watching every single thing he says from now on, and if ever says anything negative towards or with you, they will talk to HIM about counseling. I don't think he wants to open up a can of worms that he can't handle.

Re: DH Vent

Message edited 11/15/2011 9:35:59 PM.

Re: DH Vent

Horrible situation!

I'm not going to go into the reasons why he shouldn't because it sounds like you're feeling the same way.

You've tried talking to him & it sounds like he's not listening. I'm sorry. It puts you in such an awkward place.

I would probably call my mom & tell her how upset he was about the arguing just to prempt the matter a tiny bit.

also I'm sure smacking him in the head is against both of your religions. An eye for an eye...maybe.:

Re: DH Vent

is it possible he is afraid that their relationship will affect your own? i mean i think we all see our parents as role models (either good or bad) for our own relationships and he may just be afraid of what it will mean for your marriage.

that being said, my DH sees my parents argue over stupd sh!t all the time, and he knows enough by now to joke about it with me instead of jumping to conclusions. my parents have always been that way and they're not about to change b/c their new son-in-law is suggesting it

Re: DH Vent

First, let me say I think he has alot of nerve and, definitely, needs a good smack. Second, it appears that he is not willing to listen to you on this issue. That being said, if he is h*llbent on talking to your parents, let him. I hope they are the kind to speak up and let him have it. If they are, he may not be prepared for what they may say to him. I know that if I was approached about this subject, you would have to peel me off the person. He needs to concentrate on his own marriage and keep his opinions to himself. There are some lines with family you simply do not cross. This is one of them.

Re: Update: DH Vent

bump

Re: Update: DH Vent

I'm glad he realized he was in the wrong.