Underwhelming Family Response?

Sorry--wrong board!

I am curious to see if anyone else out there has not received a welcoming family response to their pregnancy.

Though it's early, we decided to tell DHs parents that I'm pregnant yesterday since we planned to see them anyway, and it will probably be several weeks before we see them again. He has not told anyone so far, and I thought it was fine if he wanted to tell his family early.

His father's response was what I would call normal, but his mother's was odd. I really didn't know what to make of it. She said nothing really, not even congratulations. Then after his father asked a few questions, she changed the subject very quickly. The look on her face when we initially told her was, well, one of horror.

Poor DH--he was really upset with the way his mom responded, and we left not long after he told them the news. I tried to console him, and told him that maybe they did not see this coming and she just didn't know what to say. And maybe this is true, but I keep seeing the horrified look on her face... I did tell him when things calm down, he should probably talk to her about this. Maybe she has some concern we're unaware of?

I don't get it. I think she's happy I'm in the family, or that's the impression I've always had, so I doubt she's thinking her son is sinking in deeper with me. Maybe she doesn't want grandchildren?

I really wish we hadn't told them so early now, but I suppose we would have had the same reaction later anyway.

Message edited 4/9/2007 5:50:12 PM.

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

While I have no experience in the pregnancy area, I can chime in about underwhelming family response to a home purchase!

Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

Maybe if this is your MIL's first grandchild, her expression had to do with the shock that she is "old enuff" to have grandkids...

Nonetheless, congratulations and have a healthy pregnancy.

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

I'm so sorry that your MIL didn't respond in the traditional future grandma way, but

CONGRATS!! I didn't know you were expecting. I'm so happy for you!!

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

that is how my mil will respond.
maybe it is just a shock that her son is finally grown up and having a baby. maybe she felt old when u told her she was going to be a grandma..

regardless of how she was feeling, she should have put up a good front for the two of you.

I'm sorry!

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

MIL comes up for all the grandchildrens birthdays from Fla. She was saying " well, I'll come in May and then again in July..." and we said " You'll have to come up in February" Slowly she realized what we were saying. Her reaction? " Don't tell me you're pregnant" and then " I thought you'd wait until you were more established." In MILs universe, you buy a house before you have a baby. Yeah, great if you live in 1975. In 2006, on Long Island, houses are kind of expensive. Plus, i was 32- how long am I going to wait?


Maybe your MIL was in shock, or the reality of becoming a grandmother hit her like a ton of bricks( if this will be her first)- I'm not making excuses for her rud eresponse, but mayb that was what was going through her mind.
My MIL got more and more excited as my pregnancy went on , and is now a wonderful grandmother.

Congratulations, happy and healthy nine months to you .

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

Thanks for all of your responses. It was great to hear from you guys, eventhough I posted this to the wrong board (I thought I was in pregnancy).

It's hard to say what she's thinking. This will be her first grandchild, and she may be freaked out about that. She may also think we are taking on too much, too quickly between this and the house purchase. We are taking on a lot--but we aren't young, and it's now or never for a baby for us. We've also been trying for awhile, so it's just a coincidence that everything is happening at once, but she doesn't know that.

I think DH has to talk to her about this, probably when I'm not around so she can speak freely with him.

Oh well, it's not bothering me so much today. It's great to have your support, plus my sister knows, and she is just delighted for us!

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

That is great to hear!

Enjoy yourself!

Re: Underwhelming Family Response?

We had a so so response. When we got engaged my grandma said "so do you take the bus to school" (I was in a Master's Program).

My family really wasn't "happy" or "sad"-which hurt my feelings.