Trying to have it all...a vent of sorts.

Is a woman having it all truly a pipe dream? DH and I want 2-3 children. I love my DD (and currently on the way!) more than anything in the world. I came back to work part time (Mon-Thurs) when DD was 6 months old. DH and I decided to try for another sooner rather than later, and I became pregnant when she was 15 months old, giving DC the 2 year age gap we thought would be perfect for them growing up. Since I told my job I have been getting some mixed reactions. Happiness of course, but also comments about them being close in age and "What about your career? You worked so hard for this promotion." And I work so hard to be a successful mother and wife too! This is my time to have my children. I 100% plan on coming back to work after my maternity leave with DC#2, but I feel as if I'm being doubted. Projects are already being taken away from me, and I'm not due for another 5 months. Female coworkers are BLATANTLY telling me I should have waited MUCH longer to have another. Huh?? (FTR I'll be 35 in a few weeks.)

Now I feel like the thought of having a third is completely crazy and outrageous if I want to keep on working. And maybe it is. Maybe I want too much?

Sorry for the vent, I'm just having an annoying day where I feel like all of my dedication and hard work during the past 8 years is being overshadowed by me being pregnant..."AGAIN". I just don't know what to do or how to handle this.

Re: Trying to have it all...a vent of sorts.

So sorry you are feeling this way. I dont know what you do but I can totallly relate. I am a physiciian and worked extremely hard to get where I am. I recently had a daughter and felt guilty about going on maternity leave. There was a sense from some people that when you finnish a residency training program it is time to work hard and establish yourself and stopping to have children can take away from that. However I remind myself that several of the women who were my mentors have two to three children and still managed to become training program directors and hold other prestigious positions. If they can do it so can we!

Re: Trying to have it all...a vent of sorts.

I may not be one to speak being that I just had my 3 weeks ago and have not gone back to work yet (though I plan to), but I have always been a believer that you can have it all, so long as you're willing to work for it. Nothing worth having ever comes easy (at least it never has for me), but where there is a will, there is a way. My mother was an extremely successful working woman and the best mom ever, so I know it can be done. You will figure it all out, don't worry.