Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

I've been out on maternity leave since DS was born in Feb but today is the day i was supposed to return to work. Dh and I discussed our options and decided that it would be best for me to stay home as long as we can swing it financially. So far so good, though I'll admit I'm a little nervous. Not so much about how to spend my day with Shane, but more so about it affectong my relationship with DH. He knows that I'm not sitting around watching TV by any means (our DS is a handful), but I'm scared that deep down inside he may begin to resent me being home while he's out "earning" a living for us. Any other SAHM's have similar fears??

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

sometimes I feel the same way ~ DH makes comments or jokes around and sometimes I feel sensitive to it! Here are some

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

I felt exactly the same way. I originally went back to work after my maternity leave and was miserable. Even though my DH agreed me with that being a SAHM was the best thing I have always thought he wasn't 100% behind me. I have now been home for about five months. DH loves it. Even though some months are rough and I have to ask him to work a bit more overtime he is 100% on board with me being home. Now that my DS is close to 1 I thought about going back to work and my DH is completely against it. It is a struggle but it works for us. The first few months are an adjustment but you will know what is best for your family. Good Luck.

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

I would be lieing if I said I never felt that way.

But, that fact of the matter is, there are plenty of days where DH used to come home and say "what'd you do all day, this place is a mess".

Now, 10 months into it, on a day he would have said that he now says jokingly, "Well, I can tell Ryan gave you a run for your money today".

It is a big adjustment. It is hard to realize what you do does contribute to the family financially. It is hard to accept the days you feel like you have nothing accomplished.

But, I will say you will all adjust and everything should fall into place. DH now tells me at least once a week, "Babe, I really don't know how you do it. You always have a meal on the table and my baby is always happy and healthy. Thank you for that." And that makes me realize how much I really do contribute to the household.

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

Not a SAHM, but would love to be (never thought I would feel this way!) The same fear flashed across my head when I was thinking about the option of being a SAHM. You know what? We all know that raising children is a FAR more tougher job than earning a living! You do not get sick days, you do not get vacations.. but the best part is now that your bonus is in the forms of hugs and kisses.
What good is money when there isn't the love of a family?

You'll do great!

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

Posted by mooshyboo

sometimes I feel the same way ~ DH makes comments or jokes around and sometimes I feel sensitive to it! Here are some

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

I totally know what you are going through. I actually had dd in Jan and was due back to work last week and the same thing I quit to be a sahm. Its tough I also have twins boys they are 21 months.
I just find I do great when I get out of the house- It was a struggle quitting my job I love the kids but I miss the adult conversation. So i just try to see my friends and family a lot more.
If you ever need someone to talk to I am in the same shoes and totally understand where you are coming from. my dh wanted me to stay home and I now feel like I have a "responsibility" to cook, clean and do everything. But in reality it is humanly impossible to do everything. I s/w him and what I did was I left for 3 hours to go shopping left him with the kids and saw he couldnt clean, or do the dishes or anything so he doesnt expect it only issue is I'm a bit of a clean freak, lol I need a clean house.
Good luck
Just remember your only human most importantly is that you take care of your kids and try to enjoy it!

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

In the beginning I feared this...I don't anymore.

Its not really a PC approach, but believe in your added value and contributions to your household.

My sister and I differ in this. She is a new SAHM. She does not believe her job title includes housekeeper/cook. I think it does.

You are not there to be taken advantage of...he is still capable and able bodied.

But I pay the bills, clean, cook, do the laundry, make appts. That was my added value. I am the best mother I can be to our boy, DH knows that.

I use to feel out of sorts with the situation...but then last summer it clicked. He was going to work a double and I was packing our bag for a playdate at the pool.

I don't cook or clean in front of him, I do it while he's at work...if he sees me doing it, he would want to help and I would really he rather be relaxing or playing with Josh.

I know if Leo had any doubts on our home set up they all have faded away. A stay at home mom is priceless. Keep the house going, healthy meals, happy kid, happy DH, and you will see, you will have moments for yourself.

My DH never takes sick days...its just not in his make-up. The fact that you never have to worry about sick day arrangements leads to a less stressed life.

good luck and enjoy! summertime as a sahm is a great thing! winters are sort of sucky but summer fun makes up for it.

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

Thanks ladies, I know (and he knows) we're doing the right thing by me staying home. I just have to get used to understanding that my worth is not less by me staying home. I am raising Shane and keeping our house (at least trying to keep up with the home stuff.

Re: Today is my first official day as a SAHM!!

yay for you guys liss!! welcome to your new full time job!!