Tired and Need Advice

Hi everyone,
I am really new to this site, (this is only my 2nd post!) but I've been reading the posts, and you guys are SO great and supportive, so I hope you can help.

I am having so many problems with my 8 month old,
Becky, and I really need some advice.
She has never been a good sleeper, and has not slept
through a night or even more than 4 hours at a stretch
yet. She refuses any and all solid food, except every
once in a while she will eat a little bit of oatmeal
(we're talking 2 or 3 bites... that is a huge
accomplishment for her.) As far as nursing goes, she
is still on a newborn-like schedule. She nurses every
2 hours, all day and night. It's at the point that she
wants to nurse so much, I don't think I am even
producing as much milk as I used to... my letdowns
take forever to come, and when they do I don't feel
totally full. Also, she's done nursing in like 5/10
minutes. When she gets up at night, she either wants
to play for hours, or she just screams and screams
until I nurse her, and then wants to play. A usual
nighttime schedule for her looks like this:

8 pm- nurse and fall asleep
10 pm- wake up, nurse, go back to sleep
12 am- wake up, nurse, play or scream
3/4 am- go back to sleep
6:30 am -wake up for the day

She usually does not take any naps in the daytime
beyond a few minutes catnapping in the car. I am so
exhausted that I am not even fuctional anymore. My
poor son (age 6) has been doing nothing but getting
yelled at by me, because I find myself taking out my
exhaustion on him or on my husband. I have totally had
it. I have tried every sleep program religiously with
her, and nothing has worked. Her pediatrician just
says, "Well, don't feed her in the middle of the
night, because you're just rewarding her." Easier said
than done, when there is a baby in your apartment that
has been screaming for the better part of four hours
in the middle of the night. The past week it seems
like it has just all come to a head. I am ashamed to
admit it, but there has been more than one occasion
where I have had to put her in the playpen and walk
away, because I knew that if I touched her I was going
to hurt her. I know... what a horrible thing, as a
mother, to realize that you are on the verge of
harming your own child, but I think that is what this
extreme sleep deprivation does to you. I honestly
cannot remember the last time I got more than 5 hours
of sleep in a night.
I'm sorry this has been so long... for anyone who has
managed to get this far, thank you so much, and I'm
looking forward to any advice you have for me.
Thanks so much,
Meaghan

Re: Tired and Need Advice

First of all, you are not a bad mother for feeling like that, a bad mother would actually hurt her child, putting her down and walking away is completely normal.
Does she take a pacifier? During the day I would try to give her a pacifier or entertain her longer in between feedings to at least get her used to eating less often than every 2 hours.
Does she take a bottle? Have you tried formula or possibly giving her some water in the middle of the night? Maybe that will help.
It sounds like you have tried other sleep methods and they don't work. CIO worked for us, I wish I could offer more help...many to you, I hope it gets better.

Re: Tired and Need Advice

I wish I had some good advice for you! I have a baby that doesn't nap in the day so I know how frustrating that can be! But you sound at the end of your tether! I wonder if you don't need to get some help from a sleep professional....I think someone on this site had a link to her...if anyone can remember...

Re: Tired and Need Advice

do NOT feel like a bad mother. I challenge one mother to tell me that haven't had ONE moment where they felt like they were at the brink, no matter how good their child is.

Second, you could try and wean her to a bottle OR have your husband take her for a night and deal with it. Seriously, sleep-deprivation is the worst and you'd be amazed what one night of sleep would do for your sanity.

At eight months, I think unfortunately that becky is spoiled. she has bad habits and your doc is right, she knows if she cries long enough she will win.
They have no need to eat as much as you are saying she is eating. that may be why she doesn't want solids. She isn't hungry.

I haven't been in the situation so I don't know, but many hugs to you and know that all the wonderful people on thsi board are either here to help or here to listen.

Re: Tired and Need Advice

I'm sorry If I had to guess, I would say she is waking up so much because she is hungry because she's not getting enough from nursing.

Have you tried mixing fruit in with the oatmeal? My DD loves oatmeal with bananas in it. I also noticed that when I started really pushing DD to eat solids we did it 2x a day every day for about a week and she started to get the hang of it - maybe you have to try 2 or 3x a day if you havent?

Another idea is you could give her a bottle with BM or formula and mix rice cereal in it - give her a Y shaped nipple - and that will fill her up more. In my experience, babies with full bellies sleep better.

Good luck!

Re: Tired and Need Advice

You aren't a bad mother. It's very difficult having a baby nevermind one that is fussy. Can anyone give you a break? Maybe sometime to yourself will help you feel a little bit more like yourself.

I don't have any advice as far as getting her to sleep through the night.