Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

As bad is the adjustment/transition when new baby comes as far as the older child being used to having Mommy's undivided attention, etc. My son is going to be 4 years, 4 months when new baby is born in August. I feel like since he's had 4 years of my undivided attention, it will be worse than if I had them closer in age.

I wasn't even that worried about it until the other night when I was at a wake and DS was in my lap, playing with my hair. He didn't want to go in the "kids room" with his cousins (the waiting room) to play because he wanted to be with me. He would only go if I went with him. My sister-in-law made a comment that I was "in for it" when the next one is born because he is so attached to me.

Any advice? Experience?

Thanks!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

My kids are really close, so I can't say from experience. But, I will say that long term at least I think it will be best for him. I am an only child and was like that--very attached, never wanted to sit at kids tables, etc. But, it wasn't a good feeling...I wasn't comfortable being at kids tables because I was the odd person out. everyone else had brothers or sisters there and they were all "in" with each other. I was lonely and felt awkward. So, even if it is an adjustment, your son will be so happy to have a sibling in the years to come.

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

There is 5 years in between my eldest and the twins...My daughter had absolutely no issues adjusting to the babies.

My twins and Caden are 8 years apart..no issues there either....

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Thanks Kristina and Heather!



I'm really praying for a smooth adjustment!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

My girls are just shy of 3 & 1/2 years apart and I thought that my first was going to freak when the new baby came since shes used to all the attention, not just from us but from my side of the family. However she did amazing, she LOVES the baby to death! Shes a little mother and always wants to help.Hopefully your son will be a little helper!!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

My are a little over 3 years apart, a dh who worked all the time and no family around...josh was my universe.

Never a single issue. The baby was mine and josh's. He was included in everything.
He picked us up from the hospital with flowers..loaded our bags in the car.
At home, I had a cake with big brother josh written on it...sort of his party for becoming a brother. He loved it.

He was allowed to hold her, change her, pick out clothes, help with baths. Everytime I took her pic, I took his.

good luck!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Thank you LiveAgain and Janice!

I do think DS will be a helper. He is now and we are gearing him up to help with the baby.

Great tips Janice. I will use them all!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

it is going to be wonderful!

mine are good friends.
every morning when he comes downstairs, she stands and claps for him

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

AWWWWWW!!!!!



Thank you Janice!!



I appreciate the advice and encouragement!! You've made me feel so much better. I remember seeing your pictures on facebook when your daughter was born and they melted my heart!!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

I have the same worries about this stuff. DD will just be 4 when DS is born in August. Last night I was upset because I feel bad that I'm now going to have to pay attention to another child and I've only had Sydney for all this time. Seeing everyone's comments makes me feel better.

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Noah was 4 when Immi was born, and to be honest, the transition to being a big brother was amazingly easy. From day one he has been her biggest fan, and no one can make her laugh like he does. He hasn't shown any jealousy or anything, and he loves her to pieces.

Good luck!

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Posted by Janice

it is going to be wonderful!

mine are good friends.
every morning when he comes downstairs, she stands and claps for him

IMAGE

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

My boys are 4 years and 6 months apart. DS #1 had no issues at all adjusting. I wasn't planning on the big age gap but it just happened and I'm glad it did. I got to spend so much time with my older guy and then when my younger boy was born my older one didn't need as much attention. Everything just fell into place really nicely.

When the baby was born, we bought our older son a toy so when he came to the hospital we told him it was a gift from the baby. He was super excited about it.

Re: Those that have 4+ years between first and second child?

Thanks Alli! I'm definitely going to get a gift for older DS from baby. I would have liked them closer, but I'm thinking this age difference may really be better than I thought!