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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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the wedding gift question will never die
i have a wedding in october. this will be the first wedding SO and i attend as a couple.
last night at dinner, i mentioned it. during the conversation, i brought up the concept (no exact dollar amount) of going to a wedding reception with an envelope.
THIS BLEW SO's MIND. he couldn't comprehend not showing up with a blender, toaster, etc to the reception.
next thing you know we're having a lengthy conversation about how different cultures and different regions within the US do this differently.
all through the conversation, i just kept thinking that the peeps on LIF might get a giggle out of the conversation. we know, all too well, that this question... just like the meaning of life  ... that we will forever ponder.
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Posted 8/7/17 10:33 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
True story. 
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| Posted 8/7/17 10:53 AM |
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lazybug
LIF Adult
Member since 3/12 1013 total posts
Name:
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the wedding gift question will never die
This is very true. My mom has been in the US for many years and when she talks to her sisters (who love in another country), they are baffled at the idea of giving a check or cash to a wedding.
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| Posted 8/7/17 11:08 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
yes depending on where you live, giving gifts is customary vs. giving money.
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| Posted 8/7/17 11:16 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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the wedding gift question will never die
yep its so crazy. a family of 5 from VA gave us a blender and a $75 target gift card. Another family of 5 from NY came and gave us $700
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| Posted 8/7/17 2:17 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
Posted by mommy2be716
yep its so crazy. a family of 5 from VA gave us a blender and a $75 target gift card. Another family of 5 from NY came and gave us $700
same... I can't imagine going to a wedding & bringing boxed gifts! I guess things are much simpler/cheaper in other parts of the country. I had a family of 6 from down South (DH's aunt) come to the wedding & give us a bunch of figurines as our gift. Then I had a few local guests who came alone & gave $200 cash. The disparity is amazing.
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| Posted 8/7/17 3:32 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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the wedding gift question will never die
I grew up giving gifts. Never once did anyone expect money as a gift - for weddings or anything else.
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| Posted 8/7/17 4:05 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
Another difference to consider, and I don't know if any of this has changed in recent years, is that in this area weddings are usually a festival of diamond-encrusted rare albino unicorns. There's 3 star michelin chefs flown in from Paris on a nimbus 2000 and fountains of flowing rainbows only found in Narnia, centerpieces of flowers that only grow in Pandora, and tiny Swiss chocolatiers hand carving personalized portraits in chocolate as favors for each guest to take home... and the traditional rolling of the red carpet for the newly crowned king and queen. In other areas it's more like a couple of apps passed around, something that looks like the chicken you requested for dinner on your invitation 6 months ago, a champagne toast, and a slice of almost stale cake.
Many guests here have the "pay for your plate" mentality (agree or disagree but many do think this way) and many of them go to weddings with envelopes filled with next month's mortgage payment instead of toasters because they already gifted you a toaster last month at the shower.
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| Posted 8/7/17 4:15 PM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
A close family member married near the west coast. We gave Money. There was a gigantic gift table. Only the east coast nyers that went to the wedding gave money. It was shocking to me.
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| Posted 8/7/17 5:58 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
Posted by MC09
Another difference to consider, and I don't know if any of this has changed in recent years, is that in this area weddings are usually a festival of diamond-encrusted rare albino unicorns. There's 3 star michelin chefs flown in from Paris on a nimbus 2000 and fountains of flowing rainbows only found in Narnia, centerpieces of flowers that only grow in Pandora, and tiny Swiss chocolatiers hand carving personalized portraits in chocolate as favors for each guest to take home... and the traditional rolling of the red carpet for the newly crowned king and queen. In other areas it's more like a couple of apps passed around, something that looks like the chicken you requested for dinner on your invitation 6 months ago, a champagne toast, and a slice of almost stale cake.
Many guests here have the "pay for your plate" mentality (agree or disagree but many do think this way) and many of them go to weddings with envelopes filled with next month's mortgage payment instead of toasters because they already gifted you a toaster last month at the shower.
Your out of town weddings even sound fancy with passed apps! I usually only see a few trays of cheese and crackers and maybe some grapes.
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| Posted 8/7/17 6:03 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: the wedding gift question will never die
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by MC09
Another difference to consider, and I don't know if any of this has changed in recent years, is that in this area weddings are usually a festival of diamond-encrusted rare albino unicorns. There's 3 star michelin chefs flown in from Paris on a nimbus 2000 and fountains of flowing rainbows only found in Narnia, centerpieces of flowers that only grow in Pandora, and tiny Swiss chocolatiers hand carving personalized portraits in chocolate as favors for each guest to take home... and the traditional rolling of the red carpet for the newly crowned king and queen. In other areas it's more like a couple of apps passed around, something that looks like the chicken you requested for dinner on your invitation 6 months ago, a champagne toast, and a slice of almost stale cake.
Many guests here have the "pay for your plate" mentality (agree or disagree but many do think this way) and many of them go to weddings with envelopes filled with next month's mortgage payment instead of toasters because they already gifted you a toaster last month at the shower.
Your out of town weddings even sound fancy with passed apps! I usually only see a few trays of cheese and crackers and maybe some grapes.
Thats what I was going to say!
A very good friend of ours got married in MA (NOT near Boston). They booked the top of the line package at the nicest catering hall in the area. They paid the same per person as the rest of the group who all got married on LI. They had about a tenth of the food all of us had. It was a lovely wedding and the view from the cocktail hour space was incredible but to think they paid well over $50k for hardly anything is just insane to me. But, even if they wanted a LI-style wedding they couldn't have it because the option doesn't exist.
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| Posted 8/7/17 7:47 PM |
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