The temper tantrums are starting.

When you take a toy or book away from her to take her to feed or change her diaper she flips out and starts hysterically crying. This started on Christmas. How do I nip this behavior in the bud?

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

I don't know but when you find out, let me know

I've been dealing with full blown tantrums for weeks now and the only way I've been dealing with them is a time out (which hasn't been that affective). I try not to back down from her when she's like that because I want to show her authority but it gets under my skin when she screams bloody murder

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

I ignore him when he throws himself on the floor and screams...I know it sounds mean but I dont want to give it any attention and usually in under a minute or so he usually gets up and stops

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

I'm not a mommy, yet, but I was a nanny for two twin boys who threw tantrums all the time. The thing that worked the best was to ignore it, then when he calmed down, ask if he was ready to do whatever it was that we were supposed to do. Also, keeping a very even tone was important because if they knew I was getting upset, they would just continue to try and get their way with their tantrum. It took some conditioning, but in about a month, we had a DRASTIC reduction in tantrums. (spents 12 hours a day, 4 days a week with them, and my sister, who used the same approach, spend 12 hours a day, 2 days a week with them. Needless to say, we were around a lot, and this worked!)

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

Oh we have seen this for awhile! We bought my daughter a shirt that says:

I can't talk yet but I already have an attitude


because it's so true!

Sadly she got her temper from me

If you figure it out let me know too please

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

OK, so she's only 10 months so I should:

Take the toy away, pick her up and take her to be changed

Or, take the toy away and then let her sit there and cry until she stops and then take her to be changed?

I just want to make sure I do it right and stop this behavior now if I can.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

Jared throws tantrums when I dress him in his coat and hat. I let him scream...

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

LMAO!! Sorry but Im laughing at your question on how to nip this in the bud. Not laughing at you so I mean no disrespect at all, I hope you know. But I am thinking of what a fruitless attempt that would be. Shes just turning into a toddler and trying to find her little voice. Its totally normal and will pass as she starts to navigate her way, begin talking, etc. You'll know when its behavior that really needs nipping. I've been there with my 3 year old and am still there in some respects but my Tara is 17 months and in the throes of asserting herself. Some battles arent worth fighting and are actually good for her to win. LOL she gets mad when you cut anything up for her. SHe wants it whole, even if she cant figure out how to just get a satisfying piece (depending on what it is of course) Other things are not up for "discussion". Some things you just muddle through like changing the diaper and let her cry. Once shes free again, Im sure shes happy again.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

Actually there is a way to nip it in the bud at 10 months old...distraction. It works until they're about 15 months old.

At that point, just let them do it themselves if you can spare the time for them to do it..close the fridge door, hold your cup while pouring it, etc. Ask "Do you want to close the door?" This will be followed by insane random rules & shrieks of "I want to do it myself".

If at that point they're throwing themselves on the floor, but them in their room to scream. We dont' completely ignore Maddie when she's having her tantrums. I say things like "I know you want to do that but it's not negotiable, that's dangerous." or "Are you having a hard time?" What that seemed to do was to give them the words to express themselves & communicate.

The other day I drove to daycare with Maddie screaming "No, don't drive. Not yet. I said No!" as if she had a choice when the LIRR was running.

eta. For changing diapers the distration we used was a game of "I have your toes and your feet and your ankles and your calves and your shins..." to teach them body parts. Or we would do "Who loves Maddie. Mommy loves Maddie. Daddy loves Maddie...naming every family member.

Message edited 12/28/2005 10:53:08 PM.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

Posted by nrthshgrl

Actually there is a way to nip it in the bud at 10 months old...distraction. It works until they're about 15 months old.

At that point, just let them do it themselves if you can spare the time for them to do it..close the fridge door, hold your cup while pouring it, etc. Ask "Do you want to close the door?" This will be followed by insane random rules & shrieks of "I want to do it myself".

If at that point they're throwing themselves on the floor, but them in their room to scream. We dont' completely ignore Maddie when she's having her tantrums. I say things like "I know you want to do that but it's not negotiable, that's dangerous." or "Are you having a hard time?" What that seemed to do was to give them the words to express themselves & communicate.

The other day I drove to daycare with Maddie screaming "No, don't drive. Not yet. I said No!" as if she had a choice when the LIRR was running.

eta. For changing diapers the distration we used was a game of "I have your toes and your feet and your ankles and your calves and your shins..." to teach them body parts. Or we would do "Who loves Maddie. Mommy loves Maddie. Daddy loves Maddie...naming every family member.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

I should add that we have a rule no toys at the changing table, but the games were enough to keep both of my kids interested. I just didn't think it was sanitary since at one point everything they touched when into their mouths...then again we have the same rule at the dinner table - no toys.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

This is perfectly normal behavior and although your child may seem as though they are a completely different person, it's normal. Something like taking away a toy or a book seems like the end of the world for them. Try and explain to them why you are doing it or distract them with something else. This will pass.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

Kevin has been throwing tanturms for the past few weeks now. They are really starting to get old.

If you don't let him do what he wants he archs his back and starts wailing. If it is something he should be doing (such as I don't let him play in the toilet) I try to ignore it as long as he doesn't arch his back and hurt himself by throwing himself on the hard floors or tiles. I mostly use distraction. I find if I start him doing something else - he quickly forgets the old thing and the tantrum is pretty short lived. Diaper changes and changing his clothes - he pretty much wails when he doesn't want it - not matter how much I distract him..so I am just getting thru it. Although lately he hasn't been horrible for most of them. I usually give him a small toy, the lotion or lately he loves the nasal aspirator.

Sounds like Kevin and Sarah are at the same stage in thei 10 months..... how is she doing with separation anxiety and how about fears? The last week or so I have found him getting worse with fears and separation anxiety. He is all of a sudden scared of things. Things he was never scared of before (I can no longer blow dry my hair in his presence). And if daddy, grandpa or his uncle leave the room - he gets so, so upset.

Message edited 12/29/2005 9:38:35 AM.

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

I could have written this myself! Grace is 8 1/2 months old and she's a different baby since X-mas! All of a sudden dressing her and changing her diaper has become a challenge! It took me 15 minutes to get her tights on X-mas morning! And the arching of the back when I pick her up!!! She has also started screaming when I leave the room, I really hope this is just a phase!

Re: The temper tantrums are starting.

It makes me feel better that moms of other kids under 1 are going through this. I always feel like I must be doing something wrong. I'll try distracting her and see how that works.