You must first be logged in to post a new topic.
If you are not registered, please click "Create Account".
| Posted By |
Message |
KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
|
The Silent Treatment....
Is there anything more annoying than this in the world?!?!?!
One of my coworkers (who is my subordinate) is giving me the silent treatment...
A little background...we were (until this) VERY close, like besties...we joke around, our line is always "you don't have to be a b!tch about it..." and then we laugh. She throws around insults all the time, but none of it really bothers me because I'm just not sensitive like that. Its the way we are.
Last week I was asking her for a password for my expenses, I always forget it and the security Q is her dogs name. She wouldn't give it to me. This went on for hours. And she was being nasty. I'm like why are you being a b!tch!?!?!?!
I haven't been spoken to now in a week and a half and I'm ready to slap her.
I im'ed her before asking if shes never speaking to me again and she didn't answer that either...
Sooooooo now what?????
|
Posted 10/19/10 4:40 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Sounds childish. Especially for a boss. That's why I would work with 20 men before 5 chicks anyday.
Message edited 10/19/2010 4:43:25 PM.
|
| Posted 10/19/10 4:42 PM |
| |
|
Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
really odd behavior coming from someone who's a subordinate.. and rude
unfortunately though..when you cross the line and become really friendly like that with someone who is your subordinate, it becomes awkward when you actually have to discipline them, or speak to them for work related issues
|
| Posted 10/19/10 4:46 PM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
This is why I am not friends with anyone I work with.
I have colleagues that I like a lot but they are not my friends and I try not to get too involved.
|
| Posted 10/19/10 4:47 PM |
| |
|
rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
If she is your subordinate, she needs to be able to give you information that you ask for without drama.
Honestly, I would take her behavior as a sign that 'friendship' doesn't work with this person as your report. I'd treat her with respect owed to a colleague and keep it purely professional from now on so you can avoid any kind of HR complaint.
|
| Posted 10/19/10 4:50 PM |
| |
|
KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by rojerono
If she is your subordinate, she needs to be able to give you information that you ask for without drama.
Honestly, I would take her behavior as a sign that 'friendship' doesn't work with this person as your report. I'd treat her with respect owed to a colleague and keep it purely professional from now on so you can avoid any kind of HR complaint.
Thats where I'm at now. I want nothing to do with her except on a work level. Funny too because I just lugged an LV bag BACK FROM SPAIN for her, so she could get it cheaper.
Some payback!
|
| Posted 10/19/10 4:56 PM |
| |
|
MikesBride
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 1245 total posts
Name:
Ilana
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
For no reason??? Honestly I'd sit down with her and tell her that as her supervisor you need to let her know that her behavior is completely unacceptable and if it continues you will have to take action. Whatever it was you did that got her so personally annoyed with you doesn't matter when she's in a group situation.
What a biotch!
|
| Posted 10/19/10 5:12 PM |
| |
|
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
my old coworker did this to me.
I have no idea why. In a business setting, it's completly unprofessional.
|
| Posted 10/19/10 5:32 PM |
| |
|
Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by JennZ
Sounds childish. Especially for a boss. That's why I would work with 20 men before 5 chicks anyday.
be careful what you wish for. I work for a man and wish I worked for 20 women compared to him. 
|
| Posted 10/19/10 5:40 PM |
| |
|
Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
oh this happens at my job too..idiots
|
| Posted 10/19/10 6:46 PM |
| |
|
Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
It's completely unprofessional -- but then again, it sounds like your relationship wasn't exactly professional to begin with.
I think you need to find a way to gain back her respect for you as her boss. I'm all for comraderie in the workplace, but it sounds like you guys broke a lot of professional boundaries with your relationship. Often when this happens, the subordinate loses respect for their boss as their supervisor and/or resents it when the boss exerts authority.
You guys need to find a balance.
But first, you need to put your foot down. This behavior is completely unaccpetable and she MUST be able to communicate with you about work if she wants to remain employed. I would call her into your office and let her know just that. I would give her the opportunity to explain why she is so upset that she can't even speak to you, but I would also make it clear that this type of behavior is completely unaccpetable. I would tell her that you hope she'll come to you with her concerns immediately in the future instead of acting the way she's been acting.
|
| Posted 10/19/10 7:09 PM |
| |
|
Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
this is why friendships amongst bosses and employees is sometimes frowned upon. Sounds like the person is immature, maybe you did something inadvertantly and she is one of those "dish it out but can't take it" types. I would brush it off and just act civil from now on...
|
| Posted 10/19/10 8:32 PM |
| |
|
Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by JennZ
Sounds childish. Especially for a boss. That's why I would work with 20 men before 5 chicks anyday.
Except when the "man" is the Jackwad I got the passive agressive silent treatment from for the last two years ...
|
| Posted 10/19/10 10:14 PM |
| |
|
Mrs007
Im obsessed w my lil man!
Member since 3/09 2528 total posts
Name:
K
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
The silent treatment at work is VERY unprofessional, I am sorry! Her boss should give her an unpaid time out.
|
| Posted 10/20/10 7:52 AM |
| |
|
greenfreak
.
Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by KittyGags
we were (until this) VERY close, like besties
This speaks volumes. You're both feeding into an unprofessional friendship instead of a working relationship between a supervisor and subordinate. I'd start with figuring out how you're going to instill a management role with her, even though it will be hard at first, given your history.
If you're going to do your job as a supervisor, she has to understand there will be repercussions if she acts like a child, intentionally derailing your jobs. Sometimes we forget we should be earning our paychecks, when there is fun to be had at work.
I'd also evaluate what I need from her and if it's fair to ask for the same items over and over. She should be following your direction, but there are ways to limit that in favor of being an effective supervisor.
|
| Posted 10/20/10 8:50 AM |
| |
|
KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by KittyGags
we were (until this) VERY close, like besties
This speaks volumes. You're both feeding into an unprofessional friendship instead of a working relationship between a supervisor and subordinate. I'd start with figuring out how you're going to instill a management role with her, even though it will be hard at first, given your history.
If you're going to do your job as a supervisor, she has to understand there will be repercussions if she acts like a child, intentionally derailing your jobs. Sometimes we forget we should be earning our paychecks, when there is fun to be had at work.
I'd also evaluate what I need from her and if it's fair to ask for the same items over and over. She should be following your direction, but there are ways to limit that in favor of being an effective supervisor.
Thats the thing, shes still doing her job, just without speaking to me.
I'm only speaking to her about work going forward...we can't be best friends one day and the next she decides "she doesn't like the way I talk to her." This is someone who came to my bachelorette party, my wedding AND my 30th Bday party less than a month ago.
She has made her bed, now she'll sleep in it. The friendliness is done and so is the friendSHIP as a whole.
The treatment is so junior high though. 
|
| Posted 10/20/10 9:15 AM |
| |
|
greenfreak
.
Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
I've gone through that, but with people on my level, not a supervisor thing. I have to keep reminding myself that even though there might be events outside work that we go to together, most of the time it's a friendship out of convenience. I had someone at my last job who was also at my wedding etc and once I left the job, she stopped responding to emails. At first I was surprised but then I started nitpicking our history and realized that the signs were there, I was just having too good of a time with her to notice. 
|
| Posted 10/20/10 9:53 AM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
let her cool off, she'll get over it!
|
| Posted 10/20/10 9:57 AM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: The Silent Treatment....
Posted by KittyGags
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by KittyGags
we were (until this) VERY close, like besties
This speaks volumes. You're both feeding into an unprofessional friendship instead of a working relationship between a supervisor and subordinate. I'd start with figuring out how you're going to instill a management role with her, even though it will be hard at first, given your history.
If you're going to do your job as a supervisor, she has to understand there will be repercussions if she acts like a child, intentionally derailing your jobs. Sometimes we forget we should be earning our paychecks, when there is fun to be had at work.
I'd also evaluate what I need from her and if it's fair to ask for the same items over and over. She should be following your direction, but there are ways to limit that in favor of being an effective supervisor.
Thats the thing, shes still doing her job, just without speaking to me.
I'm only speaking to her about work going forward...we can't be best friends one day and the next she decides "she doesn't like the way I talk to her." This is someone who came to my bachelorette party, my wedding AND my 30th Bday party less than a month ago.
She has made her bed, now she'll sleep in it. The friendliness is done and so is the friendSHIP as a whole.
The treatment is so junior high though.
I see where you are coming from but if you are the superior in this situation than you have to own your responsibility in this.
You can't just adopt the attitude that "she made her bed". You allowed it to get personal enough such it's okay to have a personal reaction in a professional environment.
I would give her a professional apology for your behavior and then move past it, holding her accountable for any professional duties she has towards you.
|
| Posted 10/20/10 1:06 PM |
| |
|
