Thanks

Thanks for the feedback & PMs

Message edited 12/28/2017 1:05:01 PM.

Re: A friend lost her son

I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine. I think it’s very nice you are offering but don’t be surprised if they don’t want to leave their 6 year old. If you think your kids can handle it, I don’t see a reason why not. But I also have been to many wakes with kids around (including my mom’s) and the adults liked having the noise of the kids around to break up some of the somberness. Sending your friend many prayers and thoughts.

My dad’s aunt lost her son when he was 8 (he was hit by a car) years ago. My dad was a little bit and barely remembers it. She had 2 daughters then and eventually went on to have another son. Well she passed away a few years ago at 88 years old and right before she died she said oh thank god, I can finally check on Richie. She hadn’t spoken of Richie in years and people rarely brought him up but my point is that is who she was thinking of as she was dying. I just always think of that and can’t imagine all the pain she carried all these years (although you would never know it).

A friend lost her son

I am so sorry for your friends loss. If you dont mind my asking, what happened to the child?

It would be a very nice gesture to offer to entertain the older son-- perhaps if not for an overnight just to get him out of the house for a few hours and away from the somberness- maybe movies, or bowling or something. When my father died suddenly a couple of years ago I would have/did very much appreciate friends who offered to and/or took my kids for a few hours to allow me time to grieve or make arrangements etc. I was not in the state of mind to entertain my kids at thaht point. Also those who just came to visit and brought breakfast/ lunch etc.- it was one less thing to think about and I appreciated the company. I think you have all the right ideas and are being a great friend.

As far as bringing your kids to the wake-- I do not bring my children (3 and 6) to wakes or funerals but if you and your DH are ok with that then no reason not to.

Thanks

I am so so sorry. I can't even imagine. I think they might appreciate if you offered to watch their 6 year old while they make funeral arrangements and they probably would want to be able to grieve without their child there. They might be trying to hold back their true grief so as not to traumatize their other child. It also might be possible that they would appreciated some one offering to either watch and entertain their 6 yo at the wake of even take him some where else to get him away from it.