Terrible 3's

Just looking to vent, and seek advice...

DS turned 3 a few months ago and is a nightmare. And I feel so bad saying that because he can be the most loving, funniest mush and then BAM, the whining and tantrums begin. Oh the whining. He seems to get upset and easily set off by the silliest things...mostly when DD touches his things or when things don't go as he expected.

And he has to argue about EVERYTHING. I say black, he says white. Even if he wanted to say black, I feel like he says white just to spite me.

Does anyone have behavior strategies that have worked with general "terrible 3s" behavior? Time-outs, ignoring, and taking away privileges don't help. I'm at my wits' end and may be developing a wine dependency lol.

Terrible 3's

It's a stage. I would just be consistent with the punishment. I'm a fan of time outs but you have to make sure they stay in the time out spot etc.

Re: Terrible 3's

Every child is different. I will give you my far-from-an-expert opinion after having 2 very different children.
My older child hates to disappoint, she's very sensitive and loving and wants people to be happy. With her, punishments work when her behavior is extreme. Most of the time positive reinforcement works though, but when it doesn't...

My little one doesn't give a crap if she upsets you. Negative reinforcement almost NEVER works for her. I have to remind myself to constantly praise her positive behavior. She basically laughs at you if you reprimand or give her a time out. She's rough. But she will repeat behavior she gets praised for.

Maybe taking a different approach to discipline is what he needs. It's a TOUGH age. 3 year olds are super emotional and their brain is developing faster than their emotions can keep up with.

Terrible 3's

It is a stage. For us, time outs just didn't work. Ds wears his emotions on his sleeve so the slightest thing will set him off into a tantrum. We started a sticker chart at home with base rules, and I remind him when he starts to argue or get hysterical that he won't get his sticker at the end of the day if he can't control himself. This usually calms him down. I used to offer prizes like a day trip somewhere or his big boy bed in the beginning, but now it's simply about the stickers.

Terrible 3's

DS turned 3 yesterday and for the last 2 weeks the separation anxiety has been out of control. He is also definitely testing his limits, but we are trying to stay firm.

Re: Terrible 3's

Hang in there

Three has been a awful age for My twins. Hopefully 4 is better lol

Re: Terrible 3's

We take away the IPad then have him earn it (5 stickers on a paper with spots marked where the sticker will go so he can see progress and how many more stickers need to be earned). I catch him being good/following the rules/listening etc... and give a sticker. After 5 stickers are earned I give the IPad for about 15 min (set a timer or the use the timer on YouTube Kids) then take the IPad back and start again with the sticker chart. I have him earn it A LOT in the beginning to teach him what the expectations are. This worked very well with my DD now 6 and we are using it now with my DS who is 3. After a while you can slow down the delivery of the Reward/IPad. Always pair giving the sticker with lots of positive praise. If they are not doing good listening remind them that they are NOT earning stickers toward the reward/IPad and show them the sticker chart and the reward. It's work for you in the beginning but it's worth it because it really works to change their behavior.

Re: Terrible 3's

The only advice I can offer is to be consistent. My boys are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. My older one has been very easy. I rarely needed to use time outs, but when I did, they were effective. Taking things away also helped curb the behavior.

My 4 year old has been challenging since he was 1. One minute, he could be the sweetest, most lovable kid and the next minute, he's a disaster. Time outs, taking toys or privileges away, ignoring, redirecting, etc have not worked at all. He thrives on attention and constantly tests the limits. We've had some success recently with a star chart, but if he wants to misbehave, nothing will deter him. He's extremely stubborn, independent and high energy. He's physical and very vocal when he's frustrated and angry. He hates being told what to do. I try to give him choices, which works sometimes but not always. This clearly isn't a phase as he has been behaving in this manner for several years.

Different things will work for different kids. Hope you find something that works soon.

Re: Terrible 3's

I wish I had advice. I'm not sure why the 2's get the bad rap and not the 3's! Just wanted to say (because sometimes it helps) youre not alone.

Terrible 3's

I'm praying 4 (March can't come fast enough lol) is better. We are in the thick of it here and it's awful. I do time outs

Re: Terrible 3's

Thanks all! I will definitely try to do more positive reinforcement...that actually seems to work with him.

It's comforting to hear that this is common. My DD was NOTHING like this...she's the most mellow, agreeable kid, so I'm definitely not used to this! Thanks again!

Terrible 3's

Terrible 3's were bad. Time outs helped a little. And for my DD, I tried it all and found that ignoring the behavior worked too. If she was having a tantrum, she had a tantrum by herself in the room - I would leave. Thankfully, that ended pretty quickly and now at 4, she is much better.
Hang in there mama!

Re: Terrible 3's

Love this post, going through the same with my DS and I'm now starting a sticker chart tomorrow.