Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

This morning, DS was playing with his bus and at some point slipped. He cried, but initially I couldn't spot any injury. Now, a little while later, I see his eye is swollen so I'm guessing he hit it on the bus.

I feel very bad about this. I mentioned it to DH and he got upset and said I really need to be more careful with DS. This is probably coming up since in the last couple weeks DS has also scraped both knees playing outside and bruised himself on his crib (don't know how, he had woken from a nap and I heard a big boom, I'm guessing he slipped while walking around in it).

Now, I consider myself a fairly vigilant parent. DS is 18 months, very active, curious, and slightly reckless--he constantly wants to do physical things that are a bit above his ability. So I watch him pretty carefully, but this morning, sitting in the living room, I sipped my coffee and watched the news while he was happily playing with his bus. Even if I had been sitting on the floor playing with him, I'm not sure I could have prevented this.

So yes, I feel bad that DS has all these bruises under my watch, but I really don't know what else you do to prevent it.

Okay, vent over. I'm just mad at DH for saying I should take better care of DS. I prevent so many accidents from happening that DH never sees--it seems to me like this comes with DSs age. I just don't know what the heck he expects from me.

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

sorry but your dh needs to get a grip...no matter how closely you watch them, kids take spills and get bruises, scraped knees, etc

My dd has bruises up and down her legs from running (in the house, on the grass, the kid runs EVERYWHERE) and falling, that is life.....

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

DH says the same to me all the time and our DS are about the same age. I just laugh and tell him to watch DS for 1 day and see how many injuries he just couldnt prevent.

At this age our little boy is into everything, climbing on everything, falling constantly, walking into things b/c he isnt looking etc.

DH just doenst get it because he never watches DS all day alone!

Honestly there is only so much I can do. They are going to have injuries, bruises, cuts etc...they way I look at it is that if I dont have to call the Ped or take DS to the hospital it was a successful day!

ETA: DH would put DS in a bubble if it was at all possible!

Message edited 6/12/2009 2:50:53 PM.

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Posted by Mikismom

sorry but your dh needs to get a grip...no matter how closely you watch them, kids take spills and get bruises, scraped knees, etc

My dd has bruises up and down her legs from running (in the house, on the grass, the kid runs EVERYWHERE) and falling, that is life.....

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

OMG...My DS gets bruises and bumps all the time, but he is a complete daredevil. FLying leaps of faith kind of kid, I think its the age....try not to worry too much momma, and maybe take a vacation for a week, and let DH take care of DS, see how well he does at preventing injury!

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

My DS is 16 months- and is into everything now. He falls all of the time- bumps into things- and has bruises everywhere. I do keep an eye on him but this usually happens right before my eyes!

if it makes you feel any better- my DH is the same way. Last night during his bath- he saw a scrape on his leg and asked me accusingly "where did he get this"?? He is overprotective, but has gotten much better.

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Healthy, active toddlers get bumps and bruises. DD has had a bruise or a scrape or a bump somewhere almost all of the time. Some I can explain, others I have no idea where they came from. I am a SAHM and am vigilant but I can only protect her to a point.

I feel that DD needs to be able to learn and explore freely so I don't stop her unless there is imminent danger. She has to learn what her limitations are so I let her. She is rather fearless so I am a bit over cautious in certain situations, like around swings and when she is climbing on things.

I mentioned her fearlessness to her ped and they laughed and told me a 2 year old is a plastic surgeon's best friend.

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Our kids are one day apart, and my DH is the same way. Every time DD gets a bump, a bruise, or heaven forbid a scrape he flips out. She banged her chin pretty bad on his watch and for an entire month he was bemoaning the mark on her chin.

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Yesterday in a two hour period Chelsea fell of the couch and banged her head, and then feel off a kiddie chair and smashed her face on the exersaucer on the way down. I was sitting within two feet of her both times. Sometimes even when we are vigilant we can't help some bumps and bruises

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

For Father's Day, give him a box of bubble wrap. Only add a note from DS saying 'You get one full day to play with me, no mommy! Remember to wrap me up!'

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

Re: Swollen Eye and Vent about DH

I forget exactly how old DS was, but he was probably around 2 or so. I was inches behind him going up the steps in the front of the house. Of course, he tripped and scraped his knee. If I was any closer, I would have been carrying him, and he still fell. I just try to keep DC out of the hospital. DS fell backwards in a chair in school this past year (he was 5), and I had to take him to the ER. Kids will always get bumps and bruises. I think it's a good thing. It lets them realize what their boundaries are, and as long as nobody panics about it, they gain a healthy appreciation for semi-dangerous activities (like playing with toys, and walking on stairs... ), and I think they become safer in the long run.
A child who is over-protected, and never gets any bumps never learns to respect injury, and they will do things that are very dangerous, and really hurt themselves badly, whereas a DC who knows what hurts, won't do that activity.