Stressed is an understatment

This may be long and I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post...maybe some clarity or support and prayers. My stress level is now officially off the charts.
Tomorrow I will be 37 weeks pregnant and I have an almost 16 month old dd. The original plan was for my parents to take care of dd when dh is at the hospital with me (parents come up in the am, watch dd then dh would pick her up at night). Unfortunately we found out my dad needs a valve replacement (aorta). He has had heart issues/and multiple surgeries due to his condition including a bypass two years ago. Because of the severity of the valve issue, it has to be immediately....Wednesday in fact. Because of his other health issues, it is being done in Cornell in NYC (an hour away). It is killing me I can't be there the day of the surgery nor travel in to see my dad. He will be in for about two weeks. My mom will be at the hospital for my Csection if possible (her request).
Part two of stress. I am high risk and see a perinatologist. The past three weeks I have had nst scans and all three have had issues that required extra monitoring. Including Friday. On Friday my bp was also off the chars and I was sent to labor and delivery for monitoring. Luckily I do not have preeclampsia I was just stressed. My ob came to see me in the hospital and told me we are pushing my Csection up to Friday because once I am 37 weeks it's time to get him out because If I leave him in too long, he is concerned the baby will not make it (did wonders for my bp). So I work it out with mil that she can watch ddi (she works 4 jobs total and just started her main job so she has not acquired any time off yet.) I feel better all weekend that dd has someone to watch her, etc. I call my obs office thismorning to find out if there's anything I need to do for Fri or if they will just call me with a time. Dr gets on the phone and barely has a recollection of what went down on Friday. Tells me to come see him Thursday and keep my perinatologist appt for Friday and if need be, we will then deliver on Friday. I'm just upset because mil changed everything around and most likely will not be able to do it again and if she can't, I'm kind of up a creek with what to do with my dd. So I'm in the process of trying to figure this out. I'm really upset because my Dr scared the life out of me Friday and come Monday it's as if it's no big deal. advice??

Re: Stressed is an understatment

i dont have any advice, i just want to give you hugs and prayers



I hope everything goes well with your father and your c-section

Re: Stressed is an understatment

A. Your blood pressure it most likely through the roof b/c of all of your 'other' stresses .......so try to take SOME comfort in the fact that it's not related to the baby.

B. Is there anyone else who can pitch in and help you with your DD? A friend or other relative? Is this just for the day of your C section? Or were you planning for DH to spend all day in the hospital w/ you and the new baby for the duration of your stay? If so, maybe consider DH coming up in the afternoon, that way he can be w/ DD in the am and you'll only need a sitter for the afternoon .......? (I"m sure that's not the ideal situation - but it may relieve some stress)

C. I'm sorry about your Dad
But again, altough you can't be there with him, and it's stressful to even think about - try to take some comfort in knowing that when you go in to have the baby, he will already be finished with his surgery and on the road to recovery, so he'll be able to fully enjoy your good news !

Good Luck !!

Stressed is an understatment

Thanks ladies. I'm so relieved my bp isn't preeclampsia. The nst scans are the scary part. As for dh, I've already told him he needs to be with dd so be it. If we don't have a someone around, he can bring her to the hospital for a pop in but I think she will have a hard time leaving me. He will be home with her til the afternoon then come up for a bit then go home to ddi. Its only 3.5 days and he knows whatever dd needs comes first. Plus i will not be short on company at the hospital. When I had dd, I had visitors all day everyday. It's just hard finding a sitter because my family is split between taking my mom/visiting my dad and their own families, etc. My oldest sister will help if it works out. This is the first downfall to being a sahm. Dd is not used to too many people watching her. Dh has two unmarried younger brothers. His one bro lives an hour away and can't help. My dd will NOT stay with his other brother if he was covered in chocolate and Minnie mouse figures. He tries so hard but she is standoffish with most men.
Thanks so much for your well wishes.

Message edited 12/31/2012 12:15:35 PM.

Re: Stressed is an understatment

OMG, I'm so mad for you! Is there ANYONE else who can watch DD for you? A sister/aunt/cousin/friend? I would think that might alleviate some of your stress. I don't have much else advice but I hope you get this worked out soon so you can try to relax a bit.

Re: Stressed is an understatment

Posted by Sparrow

OMG, I'm so mad for you! Is there ANYONE else who can watch DD for you? A sister/aunt/cousin/friend? I would think that might alleviate some of your stress. I don't have much else advice but I hope you get this worked out soon so you can try to relax a bit.