spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

I know the general rule of thumb is "give what you can afford" and "give the same as you would had they gotten married nearby..." but my cousin is getting married in Newport in a few weeks and we're going. We budgeted a certain amount for the entire weekend away, but it is winding up costing us sooo much more. The hotel had a 2 or 3 night minimum and is very pricey (peak season), but the reception is at one of the mansions. Do I give what we budgeted, or give more than we can afford right now so as not to come off as a cheapie? I mean, the fact of the matter is that the entire weekend is costing us over $1,000, so it's hard to cough up as much as I would ideally like to give, know what I mean?

Message edited 8/16/2007 11:03:57 AM.

Re: spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

I think that destination weddings have their own "gift rules" But seriously, when you are spending so much money to go to a destination wedding, I would probably give less money or a spend less on a gift than I would have given if it wasn't a destination wedding.

Re: spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

I would give them a card then send them something from their registry. Maybe I'm cheap but when it's already costing over 1000 for me to go, the couple needs to take that into consideration.

Re: spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

I'm running into the same problem. My friend is getting married in Vegas on a FRIDAY. So we need to take Thursday, and Friday off from work pay for air and hotel.

I like the idea the Hi-Fi55 suggested. Maybe something off their registry? I think I might do that also!

Re: spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

I was in a similar situation several years ago when my friend decided to get married in Vegas. The whole trip wound up costing more b/c she scheduled the rehearsal (i was in the bridal party) several days before the wedding. I cut back a little on the gift I gave them for that reason. I felt bad doing it but I figured she would understand.

Re: spinoff...destination weddings and gift...

My cousin is getting married in Vegas Memorial Day weekend! $$$$$$ But she said that she knows it is going to be expensive for people to get there so she understands and would rather we go to the wedding than give a really $ gift.