Spinoff to Poem - I am a Front Desk Clerk

(I work at a hotel, so this is hotel-related, but totally hilarious and true!)

I am a Front Desk Clerk..

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer sciences, civil engineering and Swahili.

Of course I have the reservation you made six years ago, even though you do not have a confirmation number and think it was under a name that starts with an "S."

It isn't a problem for me to get two connecting, non-smoking, pool side, downstairs outside suites (with two king size beds in each), four rollaways, and yes, I would be happy to install a wet bar in each room and stock them at no charge. Of course it is my fault we don't have a helicopter-landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk - I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your room for Friday, that you really meant Saturday. My computer has entrusted me with all our financial information and decisions. Of course I remember that when you were here four years ago we accidentally charged you for a 72 cent long distance call you hadn't made and will make sure it doesn't happen again.

I understand that MacGillegetty's Widget Manufacturing Corp. is a vast empire that can make or break our hotel. Yes I am lying when I tell you we have no more rooms available. It's not a problem for me to quickly build two more so we can accommodate you and this time I will include a helipad.

I am a front desk clerk - I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering twelve telephone calls and unplugging the toilet in 420, all at the same time.

I also know where the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian BBQ restaurants are. I also know exactly what to see and do in this city in less than fifteen minutes and at no cost.

I take personal blame for airline delays, traffic jams, rental car flat tires and the national debt. I should have realized that you meant to make your reservation here and not the "Galaxy Delight Motel" down the street and that you are entitled to the special five dollar discount because you're a member of the Accounting and Bagel Club of North America. Yes I will be happy to cash your Japanese travelers checque for 10,000 yen into Canadian currency. Even though it is Sunday morning, I am constantly aware of the exchange rate for all the world's currencies, after all, I am a front desk clerk.

We are expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, upsell, downsell, (and know the difference), perform, sing, dance and fix the computer (all at the same time).

I am a front desk, I can do all things…(and look busy when the boss is nearby).

Re: Spinoff to Poem - I am a Front Desk Clerk

I was once a front desk clerk so I KNOW that pain....

I also worked in Hotel Accounting until a few years ago, so we have that in common (saw that on another post).

When things were slow at the front desk, we used to play "if today was your last day". You would say whatever was on your mind and pretend to say it to a guest, it didn't matter what it was, since it "was your last day".

Lame game if you never worked at a front desk...I know...but it made the days and nights go faster.