Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

if you already had 1 child, at were not put off to the idea of having more, but your current child is already older, would that put you off to having more and starting all over again?

so for example, most, obviously not all, people, like to space their kids 2-3 years apart. but what if, for whatever reasons, your kid(s) is like 7 years old. would your older child already being older, and being adjusted to just having the one child/routine down put you off to the idea of having more and staring all over again?

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

Nope, not at all.

My kids are exactly 4.5yrs apart. We didn't plan it that way, we wanted them closer in age but life had other plans. I always say, it ended up being a blessing in disguise. I love the bigger age gap, I think it makes things a little easier.

As time went on we were not put off by the fact the kids would be further apart in age, we wanted another kid no matter what. Passage of time didn't change anything about our desire for more children.

As for the adjustment, you just go with the flow because the reality is, you have to. We all adjusted and I can't imagine a life without BOTH of our kids.

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

I wouldn't. My brother is 4.5 yrs older, DH is 8 yrs older than his sister, we are all close.

Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

My brother and I are 7 years apart. We weren't close growing up, but are very close as adults.

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

Personally, yes….I think it comes from the fact that my siblings range from 5-15 years younger than me…I am the oldest of the 5. I felt I missed out on a lot of there growing up and getting to know them because I was in a completely phase of my life. I was getting married and having children and they were graduating HS. As a child though, it never phased me. I loved them and acted as a second mom. I still feel like a mother to them.
I also have 3 children now, my first 2 are a year apart, then #2 and #3 are 3.9 years apart. As crazy as it was I loved every minute of it. I throw around the idea of #4 since I am still young but I completely out of baby mode. My youngest is 3.5, has been out of diapers for a little over a year and I just can't see jumping into everything all over again and I loved being PG and the first year. I guess this is more hind site is 20/20 for me.
As another poster mentioned..if you feel in your heart you want more children, then the age gap shouldn't matter.

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

I have 3 DD. my middle and my oldest are 9 years apart. my youngest and my middle are 12 years apart. While I loved having each to themselves and of course the built in babysitters I hope that as they grow they will keep a relationship as they are all at different parts of their lives.

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

My kids are 3.5 years apart and I love it. I wanted a 3rd child and still would but its not happening - the age gap between this would be 3rd child and my youngest would have been 5 years and i think it would have worked out great as older kids in school and baby home with me.

I come from a large family. I honestly feel I am closer with the younger ones - 7-12 years younger than me than the ones 1-3 years younger.

Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

I don't think I'd want to start all over after my child was already older. I feel like the first few years are very hard (to be honest, the hardest for me is the lack of freedom, especially when it comes to vacations) and I really wouldn't want to reset that.

Re: Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

When my son was born, I knew I wanted another child. I thought the perfect time to have another was when he was around the age of three. But as luck would have it....it didn't happen. I went back to work after staying home for 3 years, my son started nursery school, life went on. Then when my son was about to start first grade, we bought a house, my husband and I joined a gym, I lost about 30 lbs, I had cryosurgery for cervical inflammation and low and behold I quickly got pregnant with my daughter !!!
Do I wish I had had a baby in between these two.....yes.....but it wasn't meant to be. My husband and I have the perfect family for us.

Spinoff to Having A second/third... child....

If I really wanted another I wouldn't let the age gap between the kids stop me. I really don't think it's as important as people make it out to be. My brother and I are 7 years apart and very close.

Age gap IMO means nothing. You can have children close in age who are not close at all.