Spinoff to Chica's post

Thank you

Message edited 8/31/2009 11:05:48 AM.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

you have every right to be upset!

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I would be annoyed but this seems to be a pattern with your ILs. I would just let it go and not stress yourself about them.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I very much understand how you're feeling (especially with re: to the preferential treatment of the SIL) BUT I think its very hard to ask others to plan around your due date - you could go early, late,etc.

In a previous post, you mentioned this is the trip they go on every year at this time - right? So its not like they randomly made the plans around the time you're due.

I would be annoyed, but I'd get over it. I've learned not to expect as much from IL's.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I would be very mad!! Put it off a few weeks.

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Message edited 8/31/2009 11:06:27 AM.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

Posted by SweetCaroline

Posted by -Lisa-

I very much understand how you're feeling (especially with re: to the preferential treatment of the SIL) BUT I think its very hard to ask others to plan around your due date - you could go early, late,etc.

In a previous post, you mentioned this is the trip they go on every year at this time - right? So its not like they randomly made the plans around the time you're due.

I would be annoyed, but I'd get over it. I've learned not to expect as much from IL's.

They usually go down to FL around this time - they have a timeshare. So I thought that might be a possibilty (although 2 yrs ago when SIL was due in November, they didn't go on the trip). This trip to Ireland is out of the blue - MIL actually usually goes in September - seems she moved it to around my due date this year

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

Id be mad and hurt.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I'd be hurt

My IL act like AJ is a new pet in our family instead of a child. It took them 4months to even bother to call us and really they snuck in "how's the baby" with "So when are you making thanksgiving dinner"

Its one of the huge reasons I was ok with moving him and AJ to Texas.

At the end of the day.. its their loss. AJ never really had them around much and so she's not missing much is she?

But yeah, I would think they would put off the trip for the baby's birth. and knowing my loud mouth I'd have said as much "Wow, I was really hoping you'd be there for this baby's birth, I didnt realize Ireland meant that much to you" then I'd blame preggo hormones

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Message edited 8/31/2009 11:13:40 AM.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

IMO Insulted is the correct word.

Seems liike they are set in their own ways and there is not much DH can do other than mention it to them.

So jealous of the land in Ireland

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I would be hurt and upset too. If they know your due date I would think they would want to be around.

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Message edited 8/31/2009 11:13:16 AM.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I understand how you feel- my MIL is never around, hasn't seen DD in a year and is making no efforts to come for a visit (she is in FLA)- especially now since my BIL had a baby, she feels no need cause she has her own grandbaby down close to her.

Does it annoy me?

Yes...

But ultimately- it doesn't "serve" me to get all emotional and annoyed about it- the situation is what it is, and MIL is a grown woman and will do what she wants when she wants it.

DH said his peace to her.. and that's all we can do.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

I would be very annoyed , can you say la la land

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

Did you ever ask her to help you? If not, she may think that you do not need her help and therefore planned to go away. Personally, I would want to be there for the birth of a new grandchild but it seems like many grandparents just don't see it as important. Very sad.

If you need her help you should call her and tell her that you need her help and is she willing to help. I would find it hard to believe she could say No.

Chica's post

I wouldn't want her to make her travel arrangements based on helping me, I'm more hurt for us (particularly DH) that she clearly isn't taking the birth of our child as something she should be around for.

Message edited 8/31/2009 11:12:26 AM.

Re: IL VENT: Spinoff to Chica's post re what to do with DC1 when you're in labor with DC2

Honestly, I would not think twice about it. MIL being there for her own daughter is understandable. You are her husbands wife, not her daughter, so that "maternal connection" is not there. I know that you are having her grandchild, but I really do think that its different for mothers when its their own daughter giving birth rather than their daughter-in-law.

I would be annoyed if it was your own mother going away though.

Just my 2 cents... I know I am in the minority.