Speaking of crying....I have a question

When I'm talking to DH or another family member about things that are really hard for me to talk about, I cry right away and have a hard time explaining how I feel. Lately some issues have been brought to light with my sister (she's temporarily at my rents' house while her new place is being Pottery Barn-d out to perfection) and there's some issues I want to talk about, things back from being kids and now women, but I know we will both get very emotional. Is it wrong to perhaps write her a letter and THEN get together to discuss? I just feel like I can portray things better that way.....nothing is bad by the way, it's fine, there's just some things that need discussing. She's a therapist and is currently over analyzing her life and it just needs sorting out.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

I would write a letter if I were you, I'm the same way , I cry and never reallly get my point across. I hate it, and once I start crying I really can't stop and it gets worse as the minutes go on. It is very aggravating, the best thing to do is to write a letter, wait a few hours and reread it to make sure it sounds nice.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

If I were on the other side of it, I may not like to get a letter and then make an appointment to discuss it.

What I woudl do is make a plan to get together and have the letter written when you get there, give it out and then discuss it all in one sitting.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

i think a letter is fine as a sort of backup if you get too emotional - try to talk about it, then whip out the letter is the tears start to come - this way you get out all that you want to
good luck

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

I would write the letter but use it as a guide when you do sit her down face to face.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

If it's an emotional issue for both of parties, it gives each a chance to respond & fully think it out.

On the other hand, it does create the awkwardness of seeing the person & the elephant in the middle of the room effect.

I agree with Shelly - write the letter, ask her to read it & then discuss it all in one sitting.

Good luck!

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

I would also maybe give her a heads up that you want to talk about these issues, so she's not caught off guard - or she may get defensive right away. Good luck - it is hard to talk about things but always healhty. I cry easily too - so I think you have a good idea.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Thanks for the advice! Maybe I will just write it as a guide for myself....

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

I find it much easier to get my thoughts out clearly and in an organized fashion thru letters. so I think that your approach is a wise one.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

I would write yourself a guide and use it while your discussing.

You can't tell someones intonation in a letter and I often find that words can be taken to wrong way, so def discuss it out with her.

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Re: Speaking of crying....I have a question

Posted by jxnoscar

Posted by LRusso

Thanks for the advice! Maybe I will just write it as a guide for myself....

Lana,
I would. It would be super helpful to you too, bc that way you will get all the points down on paper. If you go in there blind, you are going to get off track, bc she is sure to bring things and events up to you in her responses.

Good luck