sorrow

well my second ivf attempt...only got two eggs yesterday and got call from dr b that neither fertilized due to chromosonal issues.

last ivf was a chem.

he reallllllly thinks donor egg is the way to go...due to my oar, fsh, amh.

i have insurance right now that i can do a couple/few more ivf cycles.

but do i need to just get over myself and realize i cant have a bio child?

dr b and dh and i are going to have a big talk next week about our options...

but here is the damn truth.

even if i can "get over" not having my bio child.........


dh and i are kinda broke........... how the hell could we pay for a donor or even adoption????

we are lucky right now to have ivf coverage......but even then its tight with the meds etc.

if i could have a bio baby....we could make ends meet...but to go into debt to have ed or adopt....

***??!!!! why!!!??

i literally just turned 35 and i just want to run away and cry and yell.

i keep trying to call resolve the organization that has infertility support groups and i cannot get a return call.

i feel very alone and even though i "know " its not true....i feel worthless. and selfish selfish selfish that i want my own baby.

sorry to vent ...just dont know what to do

xoxo

Re: sorrow

you have FM

Re: sorrow

ughhh..... I'm so sorry you are going through this but I would get a second opinion if I were you. At 35 you should still have a couple of more options before moving to donor eggs or adoption.... What you are going through right now has been my nightmare ever since my DH have started trying to have a baby.... Have you considered Cornell? Maybe a consultation with them or someone else can give you a more promising perspective about things.

Re: sorrow

hi all had a second opion at rs of ny...

said same thing as dr b.

would cornell be any different?
so lost.

ty for listening xoxo

Re: sorrow

I'm sorry you are running into this.

If I had coverage left (as I do for procedures) I would keep trying until I had exhausted it.

You can do DE anytime. Give it a few more tries. Tell Dr. B to try the most aggressive experimental stuff he's got (within reason) and try again as long as it doesn't affect your pocket.

Re: sorrow

First off,

Second, you are NOT selfish for wanting your own baby! We ALL want the same thing.!!

Third, if it were me, i would have as many IVF's as i could afford (emotionally and financially) before moving on to DE, for me, i would NEED to know that i exhausted all my options before moving on.

Wishing you lots of strength and courage.

Re: sorrow

I am so sorry.

I think I have heard equally great things about Dr. B. and Cornell as it pertains to helping women achieve pregnancies when they could not elsewhere. I hear you on the money part.... it is hard to think of not using up insurance coverage first before going on to ED or adoption.

I just want to send you some hugs

Re: sorrow

i am so sorry, i really do believe if anyone can get you pregnant its dr. b. hopefully he has a new plan for you next week.

Re: sorrow

i am very sorry i am not an expert, but do you know what your dx is? i think based on dx you can find another clinic, especially if you have insurance. It is not time to give up, really.

Cornel is GREAT. some other clinics are good to, but to figure that out, you needto exactly know what the issue is.

Re: sorrow

I'm really sorry. Its never easy to hear someone tell you that you should move onto another option when you are not ready to move on.

I agree with everyone you are 35 and you can afford a little time to exhaust yourself and your insurance, since you have it.

If it comes to it and you've gone through insurance and you are ready to move on (because only you will know when you are ready) then you can explore your options then.

But, I will tell you in a couple of years frozen donor egg banks will be the way of the future for DE. And its less money than the fresh cycle. Right now you could possibly get in on a research program regarding this. Some clinics it is free and others (like Cornell) its at a very reduced rate of $6k. I know two people who have been successful and are due in October. And not to mention its so much easier because you don't have to wait, don't have to sync cycles etc....

I haven't really explored adoption yet so can't offer any advice in that department.

Re: sorrow

Posted by maybemommy10

First off,

Second, you are NOT selfish for wanting your own baby! We ALL want the same thing.!!

Third, if it were me, i would have as many IVF's as i could afford (emotionally and financially) before moving on to DE, for me, i would NEED to know that i exhausted all my options before moving on.

Wishing you lots of strength and courage.

Re: sorrow

First off lots of

I agree with the PP that I would exhaust all my IVF coverage before looking into DE or Adoption. I would also do a consult at Cornell...from what I hear they usually take really difficult cases. I wouldn't give up on your own bio child just yet.