Soo angry...wwyd?

So my cousin who has absolutely sworn to secrecy to not reveal my pregnancy has told the last person in the world i would ever want to know that I am pregnant. I feel so angry and betrayed and am considering checking them out of my life until the birth.

This person purposely violated my trust in the worst way and I am a grudge holder. I was VERY clear that they not reveal the secret yet and ESPECIALLY not to tell one particular person(that they ended up telling). I'm sure many of you were in similar situations, what would you do?

I feel more devastated with the betrayal than that this other person knows. I clearly cannot trust them with anything. So should i banish them from my life?

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

i may not be the best person to give advice at the moment (i'm an emotional rollercoaster lately), but... I wouldn't speak to him/her again. At least not for a long time. Did s/he even apologize?

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

I think you should sit on it for a few days.

I know I get angry and heated very quickly, especially with hormones raging through my body. But in a week or two even though you might still be mad (and entitled to be!) you may not feel like "banishing" them from your life. Instead it would probably be a good idea to sit down and talk to her when the betrayal is not so fresh.

Calling her out on it may give her the realization that she was very wrong and needs to apologize for betraying your trust like that.

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

I would be VERY mad and would DEF say something and then back away for a while but don't know if I would make a decision now for good about the relationship bc things can be irreversable and may not be as intense later.

I would probably say something to the affect of "I feel completely and utterly betrayed by this and am so hurt that my confidence in you was so deliberately violated in this way. I really feel so upset by this that i feel like I need to take some time off from our relationship. I hope we can heal this in time but I'm not ready to do it right now and hope that you will respect this. I"m not really interested in starting a dialogue about this right now or hearing why you did this or any justifications about it. . " or something like that. . .

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

I would be LIVID. What a TOTAL violation of your trust to not only tell ANYBODY, but to tell someone you specifically told your cousin NOT to tell.

Livid, livid, livid.

I would certainly say something and make sure your cousin knew how badly she/he had messed up ... and I would think twice before sharing anything with them again ...

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

Do they know that you know?

That is beyond unacceptable. I would not be saying much to them from now on...

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

I am sorry they did this to you.

It was done to me with #1 and now with #2.

I know - shame on me - I should have learned the first time around - but it's difficult NOT to tell the immediate family member that we see on a weekly basis, so I really couldn't not say anything...
I too am a grudge holder, and still haven't gotten over it from the 1st time.

DH said something in a round about way, but we've never actually come out and said how betrayed we had felt.

DH and I have chosen to keep all future details quiet and will not share anything further until after the fact....

If this cousin is not a part of your daily exsistence I would express your hurt, move on / let it go, and opt not to share anything that you do not want told.

It $ux for sure.

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

I would be vedry upset and ****** off, beleive it or not my husband did something simllar to me, buy sharing something he was asked not to with his parents (who I dont have a great relationship with). I would take a few days and think about it and decided whether or not you do want this person in yor life and to what level. If you dont trust them, then maybe the relationship wiill be there but not in the same way. I get wanting to react. I have not spoken to my DH in a week because of this, I cant banish him and I need to trust him. So being that its not your DH you ahve options on how or if this person will fit in your life. Good luck, its sucks feeling betrayed.

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

Thank you ladies, I think I will give it a couple days so when I speak to her it's not out of sheer uncobtrollable rage. Their reaction will have to dictate their future involvement in my life.

Re: Soo angry...wwyd?

Did you confront her on it? I think that's a must. She needs to know that she did wrong and that you KNOW about it. However she responds to being called out will determine what to do next. If she apologizes, then I say you can keep her in your life, but certainly know now that she is untrustworthy!! So no more secrets. If she doesn't apologize or anything, then I would just take a break from that friendship for a while. That was really wrong of her. I would be very upset as well.