Something is up with DH

I dont know what is wrong with him but he seems different. He is annoyed that im so tired and that all i do is sleep and that i wake up really early. I would love to stay a sleep when he does but he doesnt understand how tired i am during the day. and today i was saying how i feel like nothing fits and his response is "im sure your exagerating a bit" he doesnt understand how uncomfortable i feel to day and how his comments have me on the verge of tears. (im sure this is just the hormones talking). I think secretively he is annoyed because we havent.... you know BD since we found out i was pregnant. BUt im scared right now. I talk about my anxiety regarding feb 1st and his response is stop worrying. he started out great and so compassionate now the last 2 days he seems moody. anyone else expierence this.

Re: Something is up with DH

totally.....

Brian is all cranky cuz we haven't played in 4ever, and he doesn't understand that I'm so uncomfortable and actually in pain with where she is pushing her little butt out.

He wanted to *play* last night, and I had no interest - I was actually on the verge of tears with the way she was pushing herself, and if that's the way he wants to be... So be it. He can go play with Mary and her 4 sisters, and that's just how it's going to have to be right now.

Re: Something is up with DH

There's a great book that I highly recommended provided your DH will read it - "So You're Going to Be a Dad" by Peter Downey. It's written in a man's perspective and it got my DH to realize what's going on with my body, our lack of BD'ing and all sorts of other things. It's very imfortative for a man.

Re: Something is up with DH

i know it's harder said that done but think of it from his perspective - we are preggo but don't look it, so they can't understand why we are acting or feeling the way we do.

last night i had it with my DH, and i finally told him: these mood swings are going to happen, and i have no control over them so you are going to have to find a way to deal with them.

he said "ok" and that was that. today he started to argue with me about not calling me when he was at work (said his phone died), so i walked away - and when i came back he said he was sorry for not calling.

was i being rational for telling him he should have used a pay phone? of course not. do i have any control over my emotions now? nope.

bottom line is they need to KNOW that it's normal that we are acting this way, or else they are going to think we are lashing out at them for no reason.

and trust me when i say that sucking it up and doing the deed will do wonders for you guys (it's not as scary as it seems!)

Re: Something is up with DH

I CONSTANTLY have these 'you don't care/understand' chats with DH. He just keeps telling me that he isn't going through what I am. That he doesn't truly understand that his son is growing inside of me! I would def talk to him about it though. I let my feelings go for awhile and then they BLEW up! DH gets a lot better when we talk about it!

Re: Something is up with DH

Unfortunatley they really don't understand and could never understand. It's weird, it's as if they see your belly get bigger but in their mind that's all that has changed. You can explain until you are blue in the face and sometimes - for an instant they might get it. But, that passes like the wind. I'm pregnant with #2 and I feel just as anxious, even more tired because I'm chasing and infant and he just doesn't get it. He tries momentarily but....................I really can't expect him to understand.

The best conversation was how I was am so nervous to go through child birth again and how he proceeded to tell me that it won't be so bad because I've done it already...........

Re: Something is up with DH

I have no 'drive' right now, if you know what I mean... but I know that DH will go batty if he gets no action. If I go more than a few days, he starts getting very irritable... I think that's a guy thing when they don't have a 'release'.

Do something you're comfortable doing and keep the intimacy going.... it's very important both for DH not to get cranky, and also to keep you both close and in synch

I'm only at about 5 weeks.... but so far, there's no conflict at all between us..... but I also have very few mood swings. I think a good portion of his tolerance during my swings has to do with the fact that he's still getting some action

Re: Something is up with DH

I haven't been the same since one BD session a few weeks ago resulted in me spotting and running to the OB's office. Everything's okay... but it's always in the back of my mind when we "play"... kind of ruins the mood. Not to mention that I'm not really comfortable with a larger belly than I'm used to.

Message edited 1/26/2008 11:15:11 PM.

Re: Something is up with DH

I think sometimes DHs can get jealous of all the attention we get from others while pregnant and how we tend to be so wrapped up in the baby and the pregnancy that we arent as wrapped up in them.
And its hard for them in the beginning to under stand what is going on. There isnt any noticible change in us yet and yet we feel totally different. And they feel nothing.

I think until I started showing DH was in total denial about what was going on! Dont worry it will get better!

Re: Something is up with DH

You know I was going to post about how DH's behavior has finally changed in the last week to realizing that I am pregnant? Thats at 35 weeks!

In the begining my DH was great but in the middle something changed. He was kind but never the "what can I do for you" type of DH. I honestly think that we need so much emotional support that our DH's don't even know how to comprehend or give to us. That is the best way to describe it.

Last Monday, I finished the majority of the nursery and when he came home it was as if he was hit by lightening! Seeing that nursery made it SO real for him and he has been so amazing. He is finally giving me the emotional support that I guess I have been wanting for so long. I even asked him about it and he said that he does realize that he was not there for me as much as I wanted him. Even when I complained to him - he said it didn't go through his thick skull!

Hopefully - you don't have to wait until 34/35 weeks to get what you need from DH.

Re: Something is up with DH

I totally understand where your coming from. I feel like DH gets annoyed when I complain about how tired I am or my back hurts or my heartburn is killing me or.... you get the picture. Honestly I am tired of complaining myself but it is reality. It is how I'm feeling and my body is going through so much. The sex thing is definitley an issue & I feel bad, but ya know what, I feel like, come on, if I can deal with all these symptoms & I'm growing a baby inside of me, you can go without for a bit! I think it's just very hard for men to understand just how much is going on inside of us. Just know you're not alone

Re: Something is up with DH

At one point my DH was the same. He was so used to us going out and staying up late on the weekends that it was difficult for him at first to adjust. I went to the book store and bought a few books for my DH and myself to read. For him I got the Expectant Father. Honestly it was the greatest thing I ever did. He read about what was going on with me emotionally and physically and it helped. It is a big change in life style and us as pregnant women are very emotional. Buy him a book and just keep talking to him about your feelings. It will get better, I promise.

Re: Something is up with DH

I think DH started to understand more as I began to show more and he could feel her move. It's weird b/c the first tri is probably the hardest emotionally and it's harder for them to understand because they don't see or feel the changes.

Re: Something is up with DH