So hurt..just a vent..long..

Not sure what I am looking for here..I guess just a vent..

My mom and I havent been getting along too well lately. I see her every day, she is a huge part of Megans daily life. WHile she doesnt "babysit" her, she is always around to spend time with her. She always comes to my house (we live 2 blocks away).

Well last night we got into a heated discussion and she really hurt my feelings. She lives in a smaller apartment and she is always telling me its not baby proofed for us to go over there. This is the home I grew up in and I feel horrible that I cant just go home for a little while sometimes. But she says its so small and hard to contain the baby there..so I have given up on going. So last night she says..oh you never come over anymore. Grandmas house isnt good enough. So I got upset and told her I dont come over because she says its so hard because the house isnt babyproofed.

She then proceeds to say that its not babyproofed because of what I allow Megan to do. So I was really hurt and asked what she was talking about. She says..you let her play with the remote here and she is NOT allowed to do that at grandmas house. So I told her, then hide the remote. She doesnt "play" with the remote here..she takes it and makes believe she is changing the channels, etc. I am very strict with Megan. Its very hard becasue she is so high spirited but I am always watching her and disciplining her when she does something wrong, its my entire life. So then she continues to say, well my children knew better..all I had to do was look at them and they knew what they werent allowed to do. So I said, I am trying Mom but shes only 2, give it a little time. So she says..no Megan gets away with A LOT..which is SO NOT TRUE. Sometimes I even think I am TOO strict with her.

My mom lets her scream, jump on MY couches..run around when shes not supposed to, climb on things shes not supposed to but I am too easy on her???

This just really hurt my feelings and now I feel like I truly know how my mom feels about my parenting skills. I try really hard with my daughter and she is so stubborn..but I feel that I do a decent job with her and am very consistent..but now I know what my Mom thinks..just really hurts. Ok..vent over..thanks for reading if you got this far.

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Its sounds like you are a wonderful mother who cares for her daughter and wants nothing but the best for her......I'm sorry your mom said this to you

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

I can see why you are hurt. I would be so upset if my mom said things like that to me. Sometimes it's a good thing she lives far away so she doesn't criticize my parenting skills. Try not to let it bother you too much. You are a wonderful mom.

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

I HATE when they think they know better because "we all survived" their upbringing....

how frustrating....and I LET my dd play with the remote all the time BTW

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Just wanted to give you some hugs...

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

P.S. - My DS plays with the remote too. He uses as a phone...

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Sounds to me like you are doing a GREAT job...sorry about your mom, I'd be hurt too

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

I think some people get selective memory when it comes to when they raised their children & how they behaved.

My grandmother used to say how everyone behaved or listened to her because "they knew to do what she said or else." Listening to my dad & his cousins talk...it sounds more like they knew to do what she said OR ELSE THEY DID WHAT THEY WANTED.

You know firsthand that your mother was not perfect when she raised you - no mother is. You get to make your own mistakes while raising your dd. In the meantime, if she wants her granddaughter over...tell her to hide the remote.

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Posted by nrthshgrl



I think some people get selective memory when it comes to when they raised their children & how they behaved.

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

We all do the best we can....how dare she criticize you. Any parent should realize how hard it is to be a parent. Don't ever let ANYONE make you doubt your abilities as a good mother. I know it's hard, coming from your mother. But I'm positive she had those days when you and your siblings were out of control and she just couldn't deal. People don't admit things like that.

Try not to let it bother you! You are doing the best you can, and that's all your DD needs.

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Honestly, Noreen, I'm going to say the same thing I said last night, she's just projecting some other issue onto you and your parenting. Moms love to criticize as a way to make themselves feel better about the type of parent they were. I guess we never stop needing approval, huh?
Don't let it get to you and certainly don't take it personally. Good for you that you're not so anal that you need to spend your days training her not to touch the remote! She's a kid for goodness sake!

Re: So hurt..just a vent..long..

Don't all kids play with the remote ? whats the big deal? If she wants you to come to her house, then she should babyproof it, right? simple solution.
I'd be really hurt too. I wish our mothers remembered what it was like to be mothers of young children. For most kids ' a look' does not = perfect angel children. Their memories are fuzzy about the tantrums than ensued.