Sleep Book recommendations

Things are about to hit a breaking point with my almost 3 1/2 year old. He's going to bed later and later (like 11:30PM) and getting up later so it's a vicious cycle. I'd like to get some advice on all the various books out there. Crying it out is not an option. He'll cry for 3 hours straight (I know I've tried) but there has to be something out there to help us.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

I don't have any book recommendations but I'm just wondering a few things:

does he nap during the day? if so, maybe its time to stop napping so he can go to bed earlier

also, have you tried waking him up earlier? that way he will go to bed earlier

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

sometimes he naps and sometimes he doesn't and it seems to have very little effect on what happens at night time.

I'm not with him during the day and would hate to have his caretakers have to fight it out with him. Plus I feel like if he's tired he should sleep (meaning I would hate to take away his nap if he really needed it.) My issues are more about the crying/screaming and how frightened he get (he says usually while sobbing "I'm so frightened") about going to bed. He WILL NOT be left alone awake in bed. It's piteful really.

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

We've been big fans of Dr. Weissbluth's sleep book. Healthy Sleep Habits for a Happy Child.

Might need more info to be able to help or try to. When you say he's not going to bed til 11:30 what happens at bedtime. When do you put him down? Where? Crib or toddler bed? Has it always been a challenge or did it change at some point?

Not arguing with you or judging you at all. Sending you big but being realistic if you're not willing to cry it out I'm not sure how to change his habits. Adjusting the nap might help to tire him out. Dr. Weissbluth says that if you let him cry for 3 hours and then go in and get him he'll know to cry to 3 hours the following night. So you might have one night on your hands where he might cry for 3 hours or more but if you can stand to let him stay alone knowing that he's safe, fed, etc. the following night he will not cry for 3 hours.

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

I wanted to add that if I were you I'd definitely begin waking him in the morning if you haven't already. I would not continue to let him sleep in after staying up b/c it seems like it will be an endless cycle then. I'd get him up by 7am every morning no matter what time he stayed awake til.

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

Just saw that you said he's afraid to be alone. So if you or Anthony are in the room with him what does he do? How long after you put him down does he fall asleep?

Re: Sleep Book recommendations

When we put him to bed we read a few books and then turn the lights off and lay there and wait. Invariably whoever it is ends up falling asleep. I've been in there for 2+ hours with him though and he won't fall asleep. He talks and talk and talks and with me he plays with my hair. It was cute at first. Our "thing" but it's getting ridiculous now and because it takes so long we end up putting it off and letting him sleep with us. Real healthy, right?