SIL Issues

We have been married since September 29, 2007. The holidays are coming up and my husbands brother's wife always plans the holidays. Christmas Eve they usually do at their house which is nice. The other holidays they love to go out to a resturant which is very pricey for us. We are living with my mom and saving for a place of our own. We would love to split the holidays and do some of the holidays here at my moms house. We love to cook. But, she is insisting that her way is the best and that it is cheaper to go to a restruant rather than having the holidays at home plus the children need to see the Easter Bunny (which I do not have a problem dressing up as). I just want my husband to be able to see his parents and cook for them every once in a while.

Am I asking for too much or what?



Any opinions and or advice would be great.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

Re: SIL Issues

Charlotte, I think you are right and you and Michael should just calmly tell her the plan. No dinner out. I have the same problem with BIL and SIL...they always want to go out to the priciest places and BIL orders tons of scotch and expects to split the bill. We are fine, but we also want to save for a second home here on LI or just have a nice savings just in case. We tell him nicely, thanks, but no thanks. I would just explain that you cannot afford it and you want to split the time. End of story. Sorry you have to deal with this

Re: SIL Issues

Michelle,
Thank you so very much. I have spoken to her via myspace and it's the same drama different day. She says that she doesn't want to break family traditions. She wants her girls to see the Easter Bunny.

We are just responsible for paying for us when we go out to eat and we also pay for my mom. If we had split pay with them we wouldn't go because we would have to spend twice as much. We don't mind making dinner for them at all because it's something we want to do. It is not easy talking to her.

My brothers soon to be wife is so much fun to talk to because she has a sense of humor.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

Re: SIL Issues

Charlotte, so sorry to hear that your SIL is a PITA, but unfortunatelt this is what happens when families grow. I would just tell her that you guys are hosting whatever holiday you choose and if they would like to come then so be it. I would extend the invite to whomever you want to invite and see who comes. Traditions change and so do families, if we don't bend we break. A little tough love won't hurt, good Luck!!!!!

Oh and tell SIL the Easte Bunny is at the mall every year!!

Re: SIL Issues

Ryan,
Thank you so much for your helpful advice. That is pretty much what we are going to do. She has said some very unkind things about me because I vented on myspace about situations that have happen. We had issues with her once we annonuced our engagement. We have been too nice to her and her family. I know that I have not been mean to anyone. At this point we are going to their house for Christmas Eve but I told Michael you will be glued to me because I don't need her to start in with me.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

Re: SIL Issues

ohhh sorry Charlotte ~ your sil is being a PITA... I would try to talk to her and tell her your ideas ~ I would rather go to your house than a restaurant on a holiday anytime... home cooked meal woohooo I hope you can make her see the light! Good Luck!

Re: SIL Issues

it seems that every family has its own battles... i agree you should pick what you want to host and if she doesnt come then it is her loss. And if its easter and her kids want to see the easter bunny- most towns/churches host an easter egg hunt for the kids and they have an easter bunny there...

Re: SIL Issues

Tell her to give it up and that she has to wait until spring to see the Easter Bunny.

Re: SIL Issues

Posted by diva7531

Charlotte, so sorry to hear that your SIL is a PITA, but unfortunatelt this is what happens when families grow. I would just tell her that you guys are hosting whatever holiday you choose and if they would like to come then so be it. I would extend the invite to whomever you want to invite and see who comes. Traditions change and so do families, if we don't bend we break. A little tough love won't hurt, good Luck!!!!!

Oh and tell SIL the Easte Bunny is at the mall every year!!