Sigh...how do I deal...

Background: my SIL is 41, single and has decided to do insemination from an anonymous donor. She just moved near us, is always around, etc. She is doing IUI and having it done on Friday. Her personality is VERY overbearing...we get along but I can only take her in small doses. She is also very needy and can be somewhat thankless....

I keep thinking, if the IUI works what do I do...how do I react...on one hand I of course want her to be happy but on the other hand it is bittersweet...I just don't know if I can handle being around her that much until I join the PG club..ya know? She knows about DH and my struggles w/ TTC...she leans on me a lot since we are the closest family she has. She also leans on my DH (her brother) and says he will be "the father figure" in her kid's life...uh..ok...she has no interest in finding a partner either.

Message edited 2/20/2008 4:09:12 PM.

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

This is really tough. I can somewhat understand the situation.

When my younger sister announced she was pregnant (not planned at all), I was very upset and had so many mixed emotions. On the one hand, I was thrilled that a new baby was coming into the family and I would be an aunt. However, on the other hand, I was so upset because here I am trying and nothing. She wasn't trying and boom! Pregnant.

What got me through this was talking to friends/DH and venting. Then I realized how much I already loved my nephew and was happy that my sister was having a healthy child. It didn't work all the time. But once my nephew came, everything faded away.

Hopefully it will be similar for you. FM if you need to talk!

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

You smile and be happy for her.

But you also tell her when you just can't talk about it because it's too much and she (as a friend and as a SIL) will be understanding.

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

Posted by leighla

You smile and be happy for her.

But you also tell her when you just can't talk about it because it's too much and she (as a friend and as a SIL) will be understanding.

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

Posted by Gertyrae

Posted by leighla

You smile and be happy for her.

But you also tell her when you just can't talk about it because it's too much and she (as a friend and as a SIL) will be understanding.

I think this is the best way to handle it.

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

I hope you know that I am always hear to listen too!!

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

Thanks girls

I told my DH that it may be hard for me - not that I wont be happy for her, just that it's not ME who is preg..

He got kind of annoyed and said he didnt understand.... He got defensive...grrr I told him that I AM his wife and he needs to support my feelings....

Re: Sigh...how do I deal...

Good for you for telling your DH how you feel. He doesn't have to understand your feelings but he should be respectful and supportive of them.