Selective Mutism

My daughter is so outgoing with my immediate family, but she will just stare at the ground if anyone else speaks to her. This includes the other girls/boys at her school, and she has been going since Sept (3x/week). She likes to run/play with them, but will not say a word. I am starting to wonder if she has selective mutism (She is 3-1/2yo). She has always been shy, but now I am wondering if it is something more.

Has anyone's child been diagnosed with this? Is 3 too young for diagnosis? Do pediatricians typically know about this, as I had never heard of it, and I assume this is the first place to turn.

TIA.

Re: Selective Mutism

Does she eventually warm up and start speaking?

DD is exactly like this when she first walks into school in the morning.
If the director says good morning on the way in, she doesn't reply.
When we walk in and her friends run up to her and say Hi! She ignores them.

Same with the teacher- they will say- How are you today? Did you have fun in the snow yesterday?
Nothing.

But by the time I pick her up at night she is a CHATTERBOX.

The teachers tell me that she is actually fine within minutes of me leaving.

In her case I feel like it's her being shy and just needing her time to "warm up".

Selective Mutism

Selective Mutism gets passed off as just being shy, but it's more than that. I know someone that has it, and she speaks to no one except her family. I would definitely speak to your ped. if you are concerned!

Re: Selective Mutism

My son was diagnosed with selective mutism at age 3 1/2. He would only talk to me, DH and my mom and dad (maternal grandparents.) He wouldn't talk to anyone else. He would look down if anyone spoke to him and he didn't play with other children. To say that it was heartbreaking is a huge understatement. I was always so sad that the outside world never saw that happy, bubbly, bright child that I saw every day. He was in a loving nursery school and spoke to no one.

I took my child to the NYU Child Study Center in Lake Success and it was the best, most incredible thing we could have done. Less than 1 year later my child was talking to so many different people that I lost count. He was talking in school, to teachers, family, strangers, etc and playing with children. He's 5 now and if I didn't tell you he had a hx of SM, you'd never know it. We moved OOS and I was terrified of what would happen, afraid he'd regress and stop speaking and on the contrary he has flourished! My DH and I are still constantly amazed. He once stood at the curb and yelled hello to everyone walking by.

We paid for therapy at NYU out of pocket bc they weren't providers on my insurance plan. It was expensive. $225 for a 45 minute session every single week in the beginning. Sometimes we did 2 sessions in 1 week. We had the psychologist come to the school several times. Paid travel time.We also did a special camp they have (Camp Courage) in NYC and that was $300 for 3 hours once a month. The evaluation alone was $1250. There were months that we paid close to $1500 for therapy. We saved, used credit cards, did whatever we had to do to make sure he got the therapy he needed. There were sessions that were so hard to watch. And those where the progress was so little that it was frustrating. And then there were those where suddenly your child spoke to someone and you felt elated. He was in therapy about 8 months and we paid somewhere around $7000-8000 and I would pay that and more for the difference it made in the life of my child. Worth every single penny and more. The older they get, the harder it is to treat.

The therapy is intense and the condition can be very difficult to treat. Some people use medication, we chose not. We were not completely against it though. My son was making progress and we were seeing how far he'd go on his own. Many psychologists may tell you they can treat it but ask them to back that up. What training in SM did they receive? What's their approach? Success rate? Do they have empirical data?

I say all this and I myself have a doctorate in clinical psychology, and treat children myself. Given my background, I knew exactly who was best to treat this and so I took my child there.

Feel free to FM for the name of who we saw and any questions you may have. People underestimate how devastating this diagnosis can be. These children are locked in silence and just cannot speak even though they have so much to say. Left untreated, some children continue to stay mute until the teenage years if not more.

Re: Selective Mutism

I really thought my daughter had something like this last year when her preschool teachers had told me she didn't talk to them. I don't believe she ever had an issue with kids, though. That being said, she was definitely quiet when I would first drop her off. She was three. But in this year's class, I don't know whether it is the new teacher or her maturity, they said she has absolutely no problems communicating with them or her peers. I wouldn't be so quick to label.

Re: Selective Mutism

I have a friend with a child that worked with the child mind institute. Their program is amazing.
http://www.childmind.org/en/clinics/programs/brave-buddies
Lots of great info here.