Remaining Calm...

For those that are past your first trimester, how do you keep calm about everything being okay?

I'm terrified and keep thinking something bad will happen, and we won't know until 12 week exam in two weeks. I haven't had any spotting or bleeding, but of course I question everytime a symptom dissappears, or everytime I get a new one. I was suppose to fly out for work lastnight and got the biggest anxiety attack that I shouldn't go because something would happen. Ended up getting out of it (thanks to the delays from the weather), so then I felt relief...And of course didn't help that I had a dream lastnight that I was bleeding like crazy.

Any tips? Or, it just won't go away and I won't be calm and relaxed about things for months to come?

Remaining Calm...

I think after dealing w/infertility it is a special kind of anxiety all the time. I don't think I fully believed that I am pregnant until like 15 week exam and each time I go for an U/S I think nothing will be in there. But the crazy anxiety does subside a bit esp as the belly start growing a bit.
just try not to live inside ur head too much. I for example just concentrated on eating better, and trying to stay healthy. I mean that is the only thing that is really under our control. Anything beyond is out of our hands so just try to enjoy life and ur DH while it is still just the 2 of u.
That all being said, I don't think being a parent we will ever be not anxiety ridden. This is just a beginning.... LOL

Re: Remaining Calm...

when i was pregnant with my son my husband & i had booked a trip to the bahamas before finding out we were pregnant. i ended up spotting red blood 3 days before we were supposed to leave (i was like 6w) & remember asking my OB if i should go on the trip or not. he basically said that if i spotted again i had to go to a hospital in the bahamas. i was a NERVOUS WRECK the whole trip, so i totally know how you feel about that! everything turned out to be fine, i didnt end up spotting again

for me, i think once i start feeling the baby i calm down a lot about the unknown going on inside. but as you get into your 3rd trimester that can play mind games with you too because there are times you wont feel the baby move for a while & start to freak. i'm never 100% at ease until the baby is here!!

Re: Remaining Calm...

The good thing about constant worrying is that as time goes by you simply worry less. You will always worry but the degree in which you worry slows down. After you first trimester, the statistical risk that something will go wrong drops significantly. An as each week past the likely hood of something happening drops.

I'm 35 weeks now and yes there is still some worrying but compared to the first trimester it's hardly noticeable. You will get through this and things will get better.

Remaining Calm...

It was rough at first. I'm 31w tomorrow and still check the TP after every wipe for blood and I didn't bleed once since I've been pregnant. Eventually the morning sickness distracted me. Not sure if that's good or bad lol. After the NT scan and then the Level 2 and everything came back normal, I've been more at ease.

ETA: I went on vacation on a cruise around 10-11 weeks (preggo brain... can't remember exactly lol) and I was definitely nervous that god forbid something happened, I'd be out in the middle of the Atlantic but enjoyed myself as much as I could and by that point was just glad that my morning sickness took a hiatus lol.

Message edited 1/8/2014 10:20:53 AM.

Re: Remaining Calm...

I remember when we were first pregnant my dh said to the doctor, an RE bc we went through infertility, when do you stop worrying? He said never. And he was right.

I was terrified something would go wrong bc of all it took me to finally get preg. Towards the end I even went to the hospital for monitoring bc I was nervous I didn't feel the baby.

Now dd is 6 months and I'm still constantly checking the monitor, going into her room to check her when she's sleeping, etc.

As a mom it's part of the job. Remember when your mom wouldn't go to sleep until you were home at 17? Welcome to the club

Re: Remaining Calm...

A- I am totally with you on this! I keep freaking myself out with the change in symptoms! I've had no spotting but when the cramping stops I start to get nervous. I have my heartbeat sono friday and have been counting down the minutes since Saturday!

Thanks for the tips girls!

Re: Remaining Calm...

Thank you for the tips, ladies! It's going to be a fun ride the next few months, and exactly as someone said it, it's part of the initiation into the club

I think I will feel better after our next dr's visit in 2 weeks, just need those two weeks to come FAST.

Remaining Calm...

Yoga and guided meditation help me a lot. I had some staining around 8 weeks and it terrified me- it turned out to be a subchorinic hematoma that resolved on its own but even at nearly 31 weeks I still worry at times.
I found once I could really feel the baby moving it helped
me to relax a bit more- I do not think I will fully relax until I am holding my daughter in my arms- although I agree with the pp who stated that worrying is part of being a mom- my own mom has expressed this to me.

Remaining Calm...

My DS is 2 and I still do not stop worrying. I worried throughout the pregnancy and my guess is no matter how old he gets I will still worry.

Remaining Calm...

With both my other pregnancies I was exactly like this..... having no m/s or any symtoms really didn't help either! I rented a fetal doppler and that def put my mind at ease!!!

This time around, being nauseous all the time and weekly visits with the RE def. has made things easier but having graduated from the RE today, I feel that fear will be back full blown and Ill be worrying all the time...

Take care of yourself, keep busy and focus on the good.... that's all you can do!!!

I just wanna say- it doesn't get any easier once your LO is out of the womb.... you still worry about them all the time and the older they get the bigger the worries get.... Its all apart of motherhood!!! :)

Message edited 1/8/2014 11:27:28 AM.

Remaining Calm...

Like you, I needed IVF to get pregnant and I think that makes the anxiety worse. I honestly did not feel even somewhat comfortable admitting to others that I was pregnant until our anatomy scan at 21 weeks!

Now at 24 weeks, I feel *slightly* less anxiety than I did early on. I can feel the baby move around a little (thanks to an anterior placenta!) and I have a bump.

Remaining Calm...

I am 27 weeks and still worry every day.

Re: Remaining Calm...

Re: Remaining Calm...

You have almost finished the 1st trimester and for most women that is a huge milestone! The risk decreases as you progress.

As for advice on remaining calm...I don't have any I'm newly pregnant with baby #3 and the nervousness has just begun again for me. I wish I could relax but I think it's just our nature as mothers and moms to be

Re: Remaining Calm...

Being that I went through IF treatments I think there is always a worry that something will go wrong. Still check the TP and I am 30 weeks 2 days. I worry a lot less now since I go for Sonos every two weeks or so. Pretty soon it will be every week. Once you feel movement you worry a little less I think.

Re: Remaining Calm...

This morning, at 10 weeks, my morning sickness came back again pretty bad and I can't stop peeing - so I feel a lot better. Crazy how feeling like crap will make me less worried about our little munchkin, but it is what it is! lol