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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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question--somewhat related to recent drama
I don't mean to add to drama, but i have a question that is bugging me coming from some recent posts.
some people found it classless, crass, nasty, etc, for someone to post about their poop, return a dress after wearing it, return unopened food items etc. to me, it seemed, a huge deal was made out of something really pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.
at the same time, some people (and i honestly have no idea if they are the same people because i haven't paid attention) on the relationship board said a mistress (man or woman) really hasn't done anything wrong, is not a homewrecker, owes no obligation to the wife/husband being cheated on, etc.
I simply cannot reconcile the two, so am looking for thoughts on this. To me, there is a basic sense of humanity we owe each other. That includes not going after someone's husband or wife, no matter what issues are going on in the relationship. it's not a matter of having a duty to the spouse, it's a matter of human deceny- treat others the way you wish to be treated. marriage is hard--there will be problems at one point or another. of course the spouse should not stray, but to me i feel like we owe it to each other to not make it so easy on the cheaters. make them have more integrity and work on issues or leave.
if you think it's gross that you might be wearing somebody else previously worn dress, so nobody should return a worn clothing item, isn't it 100 times more disgusting to sleep with a man and send him back to his wife? wouldn't you be way more grossed out finding out your husband was with another woman than to find out somebody wore the dress you bought? (and really, the person returning the dress owes you nothing either--the store does.)
sorry to add to drama, just trying to get a sense of how others think, because I just can't reconcile this in my head.
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Posted 3/14/12 10:28 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Way to put things into perspective 
I said something similar yesterday, there are WAY more important things in life to get worked up over.
Like the economy, what's going on in Syria, homelessness, animal abuse...to name a few. Let's reel it in people, it ain't that big a deal.
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:33 AM |
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Andrewz00
Look! I changed it!
Member since 4/10 1789 total posts
Name:
Andrew
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by mamabear
some people found it classless, crass, nasty, etc, for someone to post about their poop, return a dress after wearing it, return unopened food items etc. to me, it seemed, a huge deal was made out of something really pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:37 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I'm worried more about the economy and that I may be losing my job than I am about someone's bathroom doings, however worded in their post.
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:39 AM |
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heather10292010
Gonna be a big sister
Member since 12/10 1749 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I have to say that I thought all the posts over that one post were a bit much.... I have seen MUCH worse things written on the ttc, infertility, pregnancy board than a post that used the word *dump*.
All of us that are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or coping with a loss have been through so much worse than reading about taking a poo.... I don't get why people made such a big deal about it.
The way I see it is if you don't like what someone wrote or said, don't post. It's as simple as that.
One of the reasons I was not a huge poster on LIW was the drama... I was hoping that it would be different over here.
I agree with the OP that sleeping with someone elses spouse is a million times worse than returning a piece of clothing.
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:43 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I think a cheating spouse is to blame and not the other person. No one is forced to cheat on their spouse. Eve ate the apple, no one made her - it's called free will.
I couldn't give a shit about anyone's BM.
I didn't reply to any of the threads that apparently caused drama but, yes, there are bigger fish to fry than have drama on the interwebz but then, lets face it, our days would drag on. 
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:51 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by mamabear
if you think it's gross that you might be wearing somebody else previously worn dress, so nobody should return a worn clothing item, isn't it 100 times more disgusting to sleep with a man and send him back to his wife? wouldn't you be way more grossed out finding out your husband was with another woman than to find out somebody wore the dress you bought? (and really, the person returning the dress owes you nothing either--the store does.)
sorry to add to drama, just trying to get a sense of how others think, because I just can't reconcile this in my head.
I don't think anyone said it wasn't gross to sleep with a guy sleeping with someone? And for finding out my husband slept with someone else, honestly, the word gross wouldn't be my first thought in my mind. It would be a lot of other things. I also don't think anyone said that the "other woman" was exhibiting common decency to the wife. I did say that the person who wrecks the home are the people in the home. No one can steal someone's husband without the husband's permission.
As for returning unopened food to a store, if it's pershable & it's within the fresh date & it's NOT SPOILED, than I see nothing wrong with it.
I also return clothing to Lands End if my kid wore it & it didn't hold up well. They have a lifetime warranty - and I don't see anything wrong with holding them to their warranty. To me, that boils down to intent. I haven't returned clothes my kids wore to a photo shoot or an event.
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| Posted 3/14/12 10:52 AM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by HoneyBadger
I couldn't give a shit about anyone's BM.
please tell me the pun was intended here 
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| Posted 3/14/12 11:11 AM |
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MrsC614
My little angel is here <3
Member since 7/09 2851 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by HoneyBadger
I think a cheating spouse is to blame and not the other person. No one is forced to cheat on their spouse. Eve ate the apple, no one made her - it's called free will.
I couldn't give a shit about anyone's BM.
I didn't reply to any of the threads that apparently caused drama but, yes, there are bigger fish to fry than have drama on the interwebz but then, lets face it, our days would drag on.
wait, so you think that the other woman who knows that the spouse is in a marriage, or relationship, or has kids, is not to blame? Yes the cheating spouse is to blame, but you don't think the other person cheating with that person is to blame too? shouldn't there be an unwritten rule that you don't go near another persons man/woman? just out of respect? isn't that what respect for humanity is all about? i was in an 8 year relationship with someone who ended up cheating on me, and the witch knew he was with someone, and continually pursued him anyway. yes he is at fault, but so is she for going after a man who was commited to someone else.
To the OP, i agree with you 100%. Peoples priorities are messed up sometimes.
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| Posted 3/14/12 11:17 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by MrsC614
Posted by HoneyBadger
I think a cheating spouse is to blame and not the other person. No one is forced to cheat on their spouse. Eve ate the apple, no one made her - it's called free will.
I couldn't give a shit about anyone's BM.
I didn't reply to any of the threads that apparently caused drama but, yes, there are bigger fish to fry than have drama on the interwebz but then, lets face it, our days would drag on.
wait, so you think that the other woman who knows that the spouse is in a marriage, or relationship, or has kids, is not to blame? Yes the cheating spouse is to blame, but you don't think the other person cheating with that person is to blame too? shouldn't there be an unwritten rule that you don't go near another persons man/woman? just out of respect? isn't that what respect for humanity is all about? i was in an 8 year relationship with someone who ended up cheating on me, and the witch knew he was with someone, and continually pursued him anyway. yes he is at fault, but so is she for going after a man who was commited to someone else.
To the OP, i agree with you 100%. Peoples priorities are messed up sometimes.
I put total responsibility on the cheating spouse. I am a firm believer in free will.
That's just my opinion. I respect yours, I just don't necessarily agree with it, but I get what you're saying.
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| Posted 3/14/12 11:30 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by HoneyBadger
Posted by MrsC614
Posted by HoneyBadger
I think a cheating spouse is to blame and not the other person. No one is forced to cheat on their spouse. Eve ate the apple, no one made her - it's called free will.
I couldn't give a shit about anyone's BM.
I didn't reply to any of the threads that apparently caused drama but, yes, there are bigger fish to fry than have drama on the interwebz but then, lets face it, our days would drag on.
wait, so you think that the other woman who knows that the spouse is in a marriage, or relationship, or has kids, is not to blame? Yes the cheating spouse is to blame, but you don't think the other person cheating with that person is to blame too? shouldn't there be an unwritten rule that you don't go near another persons man/woman? just out of respect? isn't that what respect for humanity is all about? i was in an 8 year relationship with someone who ended up cheating on me, and the witch knew he was with someone, and continually pursued him anyway. yes he is at fault, but so is she for going after a man who was commited to someone else.
To the OP, i agree with you 100%. Peoples priorities are messed up sometimes.
I put total responsibility on the cheating spouse. I am a firm believer in free will.
That's just my opinion. I respect yours, I just don't necessarily agree with it, but I get what you're saying.
I agree with the mindset that it is the cheating spouse who is the one to blame. You can persue me all you want, but unless I allow an affair to happen, you will be barking up the wrong tree. A cheating spouse has the ability to say NO, regardless of how hard someone tries to be with them.
Do I question the morals of the person who is going after a married person? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't mean I think it's their fault. Just like I don't blame Facebook for all the problems with people's relationships today. It's not Facebook's fault people cheat.
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| Posted 3/14/12 11:38 AM |
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I don't really understand how the two are related. I'm not even sure it was the same people. I know that I said on the relationship board that I didn't consider the person outside the marriage as the homewrecker. I wasn't involved in the poop thread at all though, and I don't know anything about second hand dresses, but whatever.
Anyway, I don't think sleeping with a married person is right at all. I have never and will never sleep with anyone's husband but my own. However, I believe that the homewrecker is the cheating spouse. IMHO. I don't think that makes married men fair game though.
The reality is that everyone makes mistakes. I'm not going to judge everyone, or every situation. If someone was sleeping with my Dh then I would have the right to name call. Now, not so much.
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| Posted 3/14/12 12:12 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
ETA: I do agree that it is the spouse who is a homewrecker, however the one who is sleeping with the spouse is a despicable human who has no moral values.
ETAA: I also think returning a worn article of clothing is gross. Talking about poop I can deal with.
Message edited 3/14/2012 12:17:20 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/12 12:13 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by greenybeans
I don't really understand how the two are related. I'm not even sure it was the same people. I know that I said on the relationship board that I didn't consider the person outside the marriage as the homewrecker. I wasn't involved in the poop thread at all though, and I don't know anything about second hand dresses, but whatever.
Anyway, I don't think sleeping with a married person is right at all. I have never and will never sleep with anyone's husband but my own. However, I believe that the homewrecker is the cheating spouse. IMHO. I don't think that makes married men fair game though.
The reality is that everyone makes mistakes. I'm not going to judge everyone, or every situation. If someone was sleeping with my Dh then I would have the right to name call. Now, not so much.
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| Posted 3/14/12 12:36 PM |
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MrsC614
My little angel is here <3
Member since 7/09 2851 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by greenybeans
I don't really understand how the two are related. I'm not even sure it was the same people. I know that I said on the relationship board that I didn't consider the person outside the marriage as the homewrecker. I wasn't involved in the poop thread at all though, and I don't know anything about second hand dresses, but whatever.
Anyway, I don't think sleeping with a married person is right at all. I have never and will never sleep with anyone's husband but my own. However, I believe that the homewrecker is the cheating spouse. IMHO. I don't think that makes married men fair game though.
The reality is that everyone makes mistakes. I'm not going to judge everyone, or every situation. If someone was sleeping with my Dh then I would have the right to name call. Now, not so much.
i think the OP's point is that we as an LIF community get ourselves all worked up and passionate about silly stuff, like taking a poop, yet, something more serious like who's the homewrecker, and not seeing the other woman as equally responsible, makes her question morality and human decency...........i think she is just using the 2 posts as an example to make a point. Who knows if the people from one post were involved in the other, i think she is just trying to wrap her head around the world that is LIF, which is hard to do.
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| Posted 3/14/12 1:20 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by MrsC614
Posted by greenybeans
I don't really understand how the two are related. I'm not even sure it was the same people. I know that I said on the relationship board that I didn't consider the person outside the marriage as the homewrecker. I wasn't involved in the poop thread at all though, and I don't know anything about second hand dresses, but whatever.
Anyway, I don't think sleeping with a married person is right at all. I have never and will never sleep with anyone's husband but my own. However, I believe that the homewrecker is the cheating spouse. IMHO. I don't think that makes married men fair game though.
The reality is that everyone makes mistakes. I'm not going to judge everyone, or every situation. If someone was sleeping with my Dh then I would have the right to name call. Now, not so much.
i think the OP's point is that we as an LIF community get ourselves all worked up and passionate about silly stuff, like taking a poop, yet, something more serious like who's the homewrecker, and not seeing the other woman as equally responsible, makes her question morality and human decency...........i think she is just using the 2 posts as an example to make a point. Who knows if the people from one post were involved in the other, i think she is just trying to wrap her head around the world that is LIF, which is hard to do.
precisely.  thanks 
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| Posted 3/14/12 1:48 PM |
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MrsC614
My little angel is here <3
Member since 7/09 2851 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by mamabear
Posted by MrsC614
Posted by greenybeans
I don't really understand how the two are related. I'm not even sure it was the same people. I know that I said on the relationship board that I didn't consider the person outside the marriage as the homewrecker. I wasn't involved in the poop thread at all though, and I don't know anything about second hand dresses, but whatever.
Anyway, I don't think sleeping with a married person is right at all. I have never and will never sleep with anyone's husband but my own. However, I believe that the homewrecker is the cheating spouse. IMHO. I don't think that makes married men fair game though.
The reality is that everyone makes mistakes. I'm not going to judge everyone, or every situation. If someone was sleeping with my Dh then I would have the right to name call. Now, not so much.
i think the OP's point is that we as an LIF community get ourselves all worked up and passionate about silly stuff, like taking a poop, yet, something more serious like who's the homewrecker, and not seeing the other woman as equally responsible, makes her question morality and human decency...........i think she is just using the 2 posts as an example to make a point. Who knows if the people from one post were involved in the other, i think she is just trying to wrap her head around the world that is LIF, which is hard to do.
precisely. thanks
no problem girl, i hear ya
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| Posted 3/14/12 2:45 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I think it's all wrong
I think returning clothes is gross. I think returning food that was not purchased spoiled is gross. I think talking crassly about BM's is gross AND I think a woman who sleeps with a married man definitely would carry some of the blame/guilt associated with that, if the person was in no way shape or form separated or divorcing. there are grey areas for all of these things but mostly, I am against them.
thank you for helping me see how consistent I am.
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| Posted 3/14/12 2:48 PM |
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rmdrn125
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/07 497 total posts
Name:
mom mom
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
All this needless drama on these boards is probably one of the main reasons I never really comment.. The drama that ensues when you post an opinion, your idea, is very bothersome.. Seriously, who gives a shit.. Did she hurt someone, I thought she did it for a giggle.. Why MUST everyone get on their soap box?? Would I ever write something like that? Here-- no but i remembet being just as happy when i was preggo and battling the lovely GI issues, i probably told a friend.. Leave her alone.. Let this die.. With reference to the infedility, if you are dumb enough to do it and post about it.. YOU should get flamed..nothing like airing your dirty laundry..
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| Posted 3/14/12 2:48 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by rmdrn125
All this needless drama on these boards is probably one of the main reasons I never really comment.. The drama that ensues when you post an opinion, your idea, is very bothersome.. Seriously, who gives a shit.. Did she hurt someone, I thought she did it for a giggle.. Why MUST everyone get on their soap box?? Would I ever write something like that? Here-- no but i remembet being just as happy when i was preggo and battling the lovely GI issues, i probably told a friend.. Leave her alone.. Let this die.. With reference to the infedility, if you are dumb enough to do it and post about it.. YOU should get flamed..nothing like airing your dirty laundry..
There's a huge superiority complex on this forum. But no one is superior enough to admit it
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| Posted 3/14/12 3:15 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by rmdrn125
All this needless drama on these boards is probably one of the main reasons I never really comment.. The drama that ensues when you post an opinion, your idea, is very bothersome.. Seriously, who gives a shit.. Did she hurt someone, I thought she did it for a giggle.. Why MUST everyone get on their soap box?? Would I ever write something like that? Here-- no but i remembet being just as happy when i was preggo and battling the lovely GI issues, i probably told a friend.. Leave her alone.. Let this die.. With reference to the infedility, if you are dumb enough to do it and post about it.. YOU should get flamed..nothing like airing your dirty laundry..
There's a huge superiority complex on this forum. But no one is superior enough to admit it
I'm superior enough to know I couldn't give two shits about what anyone on this site has to say if I don't know them IRL because they have absolutely ZERO baring on my life.
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| Posted 3/14/12 3:20 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
I'm too mature, intelligent and beautiful to comment on this post.
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| Posted 3/14/12 3:22 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by HoneyBadger
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by rmdrn125
All this needless drama on these boards is probably one of the main reasons I never really comment.. The drama that ensues when you post an opinion, your idea, is very bothersome.. Seriously, who gives a shit.. Did she hurt someone, I thought she did it for a giggle.. Why MUST everyone get on their soap box?? Would I ever write something like that? Here-- no but i remembet being just as happy when i was preggo and battling the lovely GI issues, i probably told a friend.. Leave her alone.. Let this die.. With reference to the infedility, if you are dumb enough to do it and post about it.. YOU should get flamed..nothing like airing your dirty laundry..
There's a huge superiority complex on this forum. But no one is superior enough to admit it
I'm superior enough to know I couldn't give two shits about what anyone on this site has to say if I don't know them IRL because they have absolutely ZERO baring on my life.
bearing.
baring is what sluts do.
and I am superior. I say it all the time but I must be too high up for you all to hear me down there. le sigh.
ETA: the smiley guys. no for jenns bene b/c she knows and loves me (as she should lol) but for everyone elses, lest they think me serious.
Message edited 3/14/2012 3:36:41 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/12 3:32 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: question--somewhat related to recent drama
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by HoneyBadger
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by rmdrn125
All this needless drama on these boards is probably one of the main reasons I never really comment.. The drama that ensues when you post an opinion, your idea, is very bothersome.. Seriously, who gives a shit.. Did she hurt someone, I thought she did it for a giggle.. Why MUST everyone get on their soap box?? Would I ever write something like that? Here-- no but i remembet being just as happy when i was preggo and battling the lovely GI issues, i probably told a friend.. Leave her alone.. Let this die.. With reference to the infedility, if you are dumb enough to do it and post about it.. YOU should get flamed..nothing like airing your dirty laundry..
There's a huge superiority complex on this forum. But no one is superior enough to admit it
I'm superior enough to know I couldn't give two shits about what anyone on this site has to say if I don't know them IRL because they have absolutely ZERO baring on my life.
bearing.
baring is what sluts do.
and I am superior. I say it all the time but I must be too high up for you all to hear me down there. le sigh.
ETA: the smiley guys. no for jenns bene b/c she knows and loves me (as she should lol) but for everyone elses, lest they think me serious.
shit i type to damn fast!
but then again, some might consider me a slut so it's ok
however, i'm still superior
and how couldn't i love you, cheri? 
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| Posted 3/14/12 4:12 PM |
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