Question on Remaining Positive

Does anyone else have a hard remaining positive while trying not to get your hopes up too high?

Every month, I want to think positively that it is going to work, but at the same time I am mentally preparing myself for the disappointment of it not working.

I can't seem to find a balance between the two.

I'm not sure if I am making any sense, but it's something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Re: Question on Remaining Positive

This cycle I created a play list on my itunes library so when ever a negative thought tries to get in, I play the list and I feel so much better. I found all the songs that have good positive messages. Some are up and others are mellow.

I also do breathing exercises whenever I feel stress. I got this from Anji. Breath in 3 counts while thinking "breathing in positive energy, strenght etc.., then breath out 6 counts and breath out all the negative engergy (anger, fear, jealousy etc...). It has really helped me this cycle.

No one is perfect and its impossible not to think negatively, but if you can reduce the stress that goes with that you will feel more positive and eventually you will be positive more.

I know it sounds cooky but I think it works.

Re: Question on Remaining Positive

You make a lot of sense and I understand completely. It is so hard to strike the right balance that allows hope but doesn't set you up for complete disappointment.
This month I am trying positive imaging...seeing the BFP, seeing a nursery, seeing my big belly, you get the idea. All I can say is it is totally normal and just another hard part of infertility that few can understand.
Best of luck for your BFP!!
Shawnna

Re: Question on Remaining Positive

Re: Question on Remaining Positive

I agree with you....it's very hard to find the right balance...last month I was so hopeful, I really thought it would happen for me, I was so disappointed when it didn't work. Now I'm onto IUI #4 with a pending IVF consult! Today is not the day for me to be postivie, part of me feels like throwing in the towel on the whole thing and giving up. Then I get mad and dig in and say "WHY NOT ME? It has to be my turn some time!" and I press on.

Re: Question on Remaining Positive

I was going to a therapist a few years ago during my first IVF cycle and was struggling with the same feelings. She had been through 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles herself, so she had some experience under her belt. She told me that it doesn't matter how high your hopes get, when you are let down, the fall won't feel any worse than if you didn't let your hopes get up. I disagreed and still do. I do feel worse if I let myself get my hopes up. I just can't let myself get optimistic anymore. I think we are all cautiously optimistic, b/c we know the heartache too well.

But maybe you can taker her advice and do something different with it. I'm just not there anymore.

I really like Beth-Ann's advice about music and meditation. I might just have to do that this time around...

Re: Question on Remaining Positive