Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

Did you or DH find it hard to connect with this pregnancy? I am feeling a little less connected this time in fear of losing it again. The only good thing I am finding about that is that I am less stressed this time. It is hard to explain, maybe because I know that even if I drive myself crazy doing everything right, it still may not work out and what is meant to be is meant to be.

My biggest concern is DH. He is not connected with this at all. The first time he was jumping around the house and planning the nursery. This time, he does not want to talk about it or plan. He keeps saying he is excited but waiting until after we see the doctor before he gets his hopes up again. I understand where he is coming from but it is upsetting. I want us to be excited!

Anyone else go through this? Thanks.

Message edited 6/4/2007 4:06:40 PM.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

VERY HARD.

At the beginning I couldnt even allow myself to feel much. I tried, btu it wouldnt come.

DH was so excited and He was upset I wasnt. Liek I said, I tried, but I just couldnt grasp it.

Once week 12 or so came along, I felt better, after the level 2 I felt even better..

But now at the end , Im worried again. I had a late loss so I know it clouds my judgement, but I find myself unable to see the future, or be excited at times.

I know I am, because I will see something and get teary eyed or hear a song etc, and then suddenly its like I force myself back to not getting TOO excited.

I think its human survival and its a shame we have to deal with it, but it is normal and your not alone.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

I was cautiously happy when I found out, as was DH. Felt much better after week 12 or 13 and after I did my CVS test.( my ultrascreen couldn't really be completed due to my tilted uterus- not able to get good pictures& measurements)

The beginning is SO nerveracking, I am sure your dh will come around eventually.

Husbands are wired totally different than we are

As some of the ladies here reminded me each pregnancy is different


I think waht you are going through is totally normal

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

Thank you. It is just very hard and it is good to know that there are others that have felt this way.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

DH and I had a lot of ups and downs to get where we are now. After 2 years of trying we did IVF in October 2006 and got pregnant. The pregnancy ended up being ectopic and I had to have surgery in December 2006 to remove it including my left tube. I was a total mess. Sometime in January 2007 I conceived. I didn't allow myself to attach myself with this pregnancy until I was probably 10 weeks and especially after I had my Level 1 sono. I was just so scared for the entire first trimester. My husband didn't connect until this time either. It was very hard for us.

A couple of weeks ago I had a scare. I bled at 18 weeks and all my excitement went right in the drain. I'm doing fine now and I'm back into my thinking of what paint color I should use for the room or wondering when my mom is going to throw my shower.

As long as you are open to each other to get you through all the fears. I wish you all the best during your pg. btw my husband goes to all my dr appts. I think that helps too. He's just amazed everytime he goes. He's always asking when's the next appt.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

SO hard to be excited. It was like the fun had been taken out of it for us. Even seeing the postive pregnancy test was not exciting or fun.
We definately felt better after the CVS was done and everything was normal. We were super excited when she was born!

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

We reacted the same way after our m/c. We both kinda "ignored" the pg for the 1st trimester, took it day by day, and didn't really settle down until the 2nd trimester and even then i was worried all the time until i felt DD move.

I wound up renting a doppler around 9-10 weeks, so when I would freak out, DH could find the heartbeat for me between dr visits.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

Yes! we got pg the month after the m/c and it took him months to realize that this one is working. We were both very aprehrensive but b/c i was going through the physical changes i knew that i was ok(for the most part).
there was more of a connection once i started showing.

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

I have had multiple miscarriages and i know exactly how you're feeling. For people going through this it is bittersweet when you find out you're pregnant. When i do get to have a healthy pregnancy I am just going to try to remain cautiously optimistic. Good luck

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

I have a son and, dealt with infertility and then had two miscarriages just prior to this pregnancy. Honestly we could barely consider that this one would be fine. My blood pressure was insanely high at evey ob visit for every sono. Even at 12 weeks when we just had a doppler and my ob could not find a heartbeat, I cried. Everything was fine, as we saw on a sono a few minutes later.

Sorry to say I did not eat quite as healthy with this one in the beginning, I think cause I was so sure it would be another failed pregnancy.

At the 20 week sono when we discovered she was a girl, I finally became excited. At 27 weeks I have only recently begun shopping for the new arrival and prepaing a bedroom. Took a while , but now my dh and I are truly excited. Feeling movement helps!

Re: Question for those who have had m/c in the past?

It is very hard to be excited, DH and I really didn't and still don't talk about it much.

Even though we went for the ultrascreen and saw the jumping bean, I guess we still know that if a m/c can happen to us, so can something else.

We are very happy and can't wait to meet our little one, we just will be most happy when he/she is here.