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belladb0103
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 100 total posts
Name:
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Question about Friends
I am not sure if you guys are having the sane problem with non pregnant friends. One of my closest friends today basically told me off how all I do is talk about my pregnancy and never about her life. (I try not to do it) Then she proceeds to call me names and then apologizes for being so mean and I am the hormonal one?!! I am completely confused where this is coming from. What type of friend does this to a pregnant woman? I know she wants to get engaged and wants to have a baby but her boyfriend (who I introduced her and is my husband's best friend) has not done it yet. I just don't understand that. Is anybody having the same issue? I am really at a loss and I feel if she really was a good friend she would not want to upset me or the baby.
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Posted 3/22/13 10:03 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
kimbalina
Bring on the glitter and bows!
Member since 6/08 15158 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Question about Friends
Sorry to crash but it sounds like jealousy.
I had some issues with friends who wanted to be in my shoes and said some really upsetting things.
I would let her know that she hurt you and if it happens again, then you know where you stand with her.
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| Posted 3/22/13 11:20 PM |
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Question about Friends
I agree with the jealousy statement.
I would talk to her. Even try to joke around about it like "I might be hormonal but try to ease up on my feelings and I'll keep yours in mind." I remember being in your friends shoes and it hurts and is upsetting. As much as I wanted to be happy for people, it hurt inside. And then I would get mad at myself for not feeling the way I know I was supposed to feel and not feeling supportive enough.
It's an exciting time in your life and don't let anyone bring you down. If she doesn't want to talk baby, talk about something else with this particular friend. My non-pregnant friends, I talk about everything BUT until they bring it up.
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| Posted 3/22/13 11:24 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Question about Friends
I immediately thought jealousy too. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. I've noticed people tend to make things about them, whether they mean to or not. It's pretty immature to call you names. 
I'm trying to think about my own friends .... I have the very close ones who I know care ... I have the ones I'm not too close with but whenever we do talk, they ask about the pregnancy, etc.... and then I have the friends who haven't said boo to me since I hit the 6-8 week mark. I'm sure people have their reasons and I don't take it personally.
I'd talk to her and just be open about how she made you feel. If she blows you off or defends herself. you just know she's not being a good friend and you can move on.
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| Posted 3/22/13 11:47 PM |
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yankeebaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/12 850 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Friends
I felt this with my son and now thing baby. People who are in you life who are not where you are gets jealous. Doesn't mean they aren't happy for you but they wish they could have that experience. My bf is in the same spot as your friend. With a guy too long to not have a ring. She has gone to my showers,wedding, hospital ect and just wants it to be her turn. I try to not bring being pregnant with her because of it. It sucks bc she's your bf but I get it.
Hang in there.
Edit: doesn't mean she can be mean to you!!
Message edited 3/23/2013 12:13:16 PM.
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| Posted 3/23/13 12:11 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Question about Friends
I do think your friend handled the situation the wrong way but as a former pregnant woman...... We do talk about our pregnancy all the time. And you will talk about your baby all the time after birth. We all did it about our weddings too. I think it's very easy to get caught up in our lives during this time. Not saying how your friend handled it was right but I would cut her some slack.
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| Posted 3/23/13 1:41 PM |
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babymill13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 822 total posts
Name:
Cynthia
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Re: Question about Friends
That's terrible! Getting Married and having babies are supposed to be great times!! I hate when people are so jealous and just say nasty things to make themselves feel better!
When I got married there were a few that tried to spoil things but I did not let them...no longer my friends either 
Now I have a friend that said such a stupid thing when I told her I was pregnant..."I need it to be my turn now"....instead of congratulations!!???? 
She's walking on a fine line with me right now!
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| Posted 3/23/13 5:34 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Question about Friends
Posted by babymill13
Now I have a friend that said such a stupid thing when I told her I was pregnant..."I need it to be my turn now"....instead of congratulations!!????
She's walking on a fine line with me right now!
Is the friend perhaps going through infertility If so, I wouldn't hold it against her. I cried when every one of my friends got pregnant. Every. Single. One. (And it didn't mean I wasn't thrilled for them... Just feeling so left out for myself!!)
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| Posted 3/23/13 5:50 PM |
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babymill13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 822 total posts
Name:
Cynthia
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Re: Question about Friends
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by babymill13
Now I have a friend that said such a stupid thing when I told her I was pregnant..."I need it to be my turn now"....instead of congratulations!!????
She's walking on a fine line with me right now!
Is the friend perhaps going through infertility If so, I wouldn't hold it against her. I cried when every one of my friends got pregnant. Every. Single. One. (And it didn't mean I wasn't thrilled for them... Just feeling so left out for myself!!)
No not at all....her and her husband agreed when they got married no kids until they get a house...she has not left him alone about it and now he feels pressured by her...as soon as her husband found out about me he called my DH right away and asked if he can break the news to her because she's going to freak! I think the whole situation is ridiculous!
On a side note, I think if she was going through any problems conceiving I would have understood in a way....
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| Posted 3/23/13 11:50 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Friends
All i will say is that She is in for a rude awakening when the baby is born. Time will tell if she will remain a good friend.
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| Posted 3/24/13 7:16 AM |
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belladb0103
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 100 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Friends
Thanks everyone for responding! You all made me feel much better!!
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| Posted 3/25/13 2:43 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Friends
Honestly people are such a$$holes...
Never did I realize how many 'friends' of mine are not really friends until I saw jealousy from them
This past year we moved to a bigger house, I finished my dissertation and got pregnant again...there are 2 friends in particular that I've barely heard 'peep' from. At first I thought what am I doing wrong...but after over thinking, overanalyzing it all DH made me realize they are jealous. EFF them, who has time for people like that. Tell her to put on her big girl pants and grow up.
Sorry this issue irks me! 
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| Posted 3/25/13 2:48 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Friends
Posted by juju
All i will say is that She is in for a rude awakening when the baby is born. Time will tell if she will remain a good friend.
For real 
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| Posted 3/25/13 2:49 PM |
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mnm918
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1209 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Question about Friends
wow thats crappy :( sorry your going through that with your friend.. I can see when your around pregnant people or people with kids and your not pregnant it seems the conversation is always about kids/babies and being preggers.. I felt like that before being pregnant.. then once I got pregnant I can see why because you just have so many questions lol.. although I always try and be respectful of it.. but it usually only really annoys people when they either want the same thing and dont have it yet.. or they are unhappy with their own lives.. I wouldn't really hold much weight to it she will realize she acted like a jerk and hopefully will try and refrain from any negativity while your pregnant.. she should be happy for you regardless and if it seems like she isnt or bringing you down than I would just distance myself from her until she can grow up and be mature about it.
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| Posted 3/25/13 3:07 PM |
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GlowSuarez
Baby Marz is here!
Member since 12/10 1494 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Question about Friends
this is totally not my business but she sounds like she's jealous of you and selfish. I had a similar experience with my best friend which sadly ended the friendship we do talk now but is never going to be the same it happened right after my wedding. It's sad sorry you are dealing with this
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| Posted 3/25/13 3:14 PM |
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Wishes1111
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 853 total posts
Name:
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Question about Friends
I'm sorry she was so mean to you. But playing devil's advocate here, sometimes despite being good friends, there may be something going on in her life that you are not aware of that is causing her to react this way. I would speak to her about it
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| Posted 3/25/13 3:29 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Question about Friends
Posted by belladb0103
I know she wants to get engaged and wants to have a baby but her boyfriend (who I introduced her and is my husband's best friend) has not done it yet.
This is the whole problem right there.
I'm not sure how to handle it - maybe a step back for a little while to let things calm down. Then, maybe a little less conversation in general to try and avoid her losing it again. It is probably best for you not to be around someone so negative during this time in your life anyway. It is a shame that people can't be happy for other people.
Vin and I had a difficult time getting pregnant, I never really talk about it, but it took well over a year and a half, I had to have surgery at one point to remove a cyst that was causing all kinds of issues. Our doctor said it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant on our own - so, when I did, we were so thankful even though it took quite some time and was stressful. In fact, the doctor said "miracles happen" when I actually conceived so put it that way. But the point is, I NEVER, EVER felt anything but JOY for each of my friends and family members during that difficult period when they were pregnant - and I had at least a dozen people close to me become pregnant, give birth, etc. during that time period. I was thrilled for them. It is sad that not everyone can remove themselves from their own situation and be a little selfless. It is a shame that she can't be happy for you. But, maybe, one day she will.
Message edited 3/25/2013 5:30:41 PM.
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| Posted 3/25/13 5:30 PM |
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