pros and cons list

DH and I are going to sit down tonight to talk about whether or not we will try for #3.

If we are going to go ahead with us, I want to start trying next month to time it out for May-June to go with work. Both times before we got pregnant first shot.

He says he is happy with 2, but if I want 3 we can discuss it.

As mentioned I don't know if I want 3.

Pros
More loving
More siblings (I only had 1 brother..my sister died when she was an infant)
Still have everything minus a few minor items


Cons
1 baby = 1 parent where does the 3rd go?
Baby weight - I still havent lost all of it. But I don't want to lose it all and then gain it all back again if we decide to have another
Less money for extra curricular activities?
Back to bottles and teething and sleepless nights
For now, someone will have to share a bedroom depending on the sex of the 3rd


Now obviously cons are listed as more but really there are so many pros of another baby, how can one list it all.

DH comes from a family of 4 kids. He said he didn't like it because he didnt get as much and always had to share.

Now like I said it was only me and my brother and I always wanted more siblings.

So we are looking at this differently.

I know if I decide 100% I want one, he will support it. But how do I decide. Deep down I do. But I want to give DD and DS the best life they can have.

Ughh. I'm sorry. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I always pictured having a big family but I know how tight it can be with money.

This is all I keep thinking about.

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Only question i have is, you have twins right? what happens if you ttc for 3rd baby and have another set of multiplys?

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I'm going to be absolutely no help because I could have written this post myself. I want another, DH is very happy and set with our family as is.

The thing is, the further along we get and get away from the baby stage, I am loving it... It gets easier and we are able to do more things.

the big thing here is that we are financially comfortable - I am a SAHM, we save a lot in their 529's and they will be going to private schools ( - tuition). I don't worry about room sitations, or the weight I have to lose, I just think of a big, loving family (I am one of 6 kids). But another in the mix only makes it that much harder, and longer, for us, if you KWIM.

Good Luck, it's not easy. I've been there many times over the last 2 years. I am confortable with my family the way it is. But another would be perfect too.

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lol yea no twins here. they are 10 mths apart.

23 mths and 13 mths.

so figure DS will be 2 and dd will be almost 3 if and when #3 comes.

twins dont run in my family

Re: pros and cons list

Posted by stephanief

Posted by BabySammie

Only question i have is, you have twins right? what happens if you ttc for 3rd baby and have another set of multiplys?

she has irish twins her children are 1 year apart

Re: pros and cons list

Posted by BabySammie

Posted by stephanief

Posted by BabySammie

Only question i have is, you have twins right? what happens if you ttc for 3rd baby and have another set of multiplys?

she has irish twins her children are 1 year apart

Oh... i didnt know that.. Oh scratch my question .

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I am an only child, so I want a big family.. if everyone is as easy and loving as Sofia god willing...

But I want to be skiner then I was before I was PG with Sofia.. bc How do you know it will be that much easier to lose the weight..

your body takes a toll you know and we are not all celebrities that can take the magic pill and look hot again..

that is MY concern only..

You figure the rest out $ wise for activities and who cares if they have to share a room..

more love .....

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you know what worries me to is the pregnancy.

With #2 it was a little tougher.

I had some scares in the beginning with the Trisomy 13 strand.

Then he was born about 5.5 weeks early and had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital a few extra days and then we had to keep bringing him to the drs because he was tiny.

It was emotionally straining. I was so upset because I use to wish him out because I was done being pregnant and felt like I wished that on him. (even though I know it was beyond my control)

i wish some higher being could just tell me if i am meant to be a mommy of 2 or 3!!!!

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Well, I think it'll be tough in the beginning to have three so young and so close together, but that only lasts a couple of years. Then it'll be so much fun to have three kids!(at least I think so!) You have what my ideal situation would have been. If I could have had it anyway, I would have wanted my kids really close together. It sounds to me like your heart is saying you want more and your head is saying maybe not. And even if you decide not to have more now, it doesn't mean you can't have another in a couple of years. It's not a final decision, ya know?

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If having a third has been on your mind and DH is up for it, I'd say go for it.
I've always wanted 3-4 kids so I am still up in air. But we also need to make a decision soon because I would like my kids to be really close in age. Good Luck!!

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I was all ready to TTC this summer for #2. Then I started to have huge doubts. Everything in my life says it's "perfect" the way we are right now. We can take DS everywhere. I can work PT (I would have to stop for 6+ months if I am PG and have another c-section since my job is too physical). We have 2 bedrooms downstairs, it's a problem if we have a #2. Because I need to split the kids in downstairs and upstairs. Well, you get the picture.

I am also older so postponing is risky for me and I am not sure I will have the energy later in life.

But in the end, the way I see it is that I DO want another child so I feel if I don't I will regret it later and it will be too late.

DH and I are postponing to a few months to TTC. That gives me a bit more time to prepare for it financial and other things that need to be done in the house first. But we do have a time in mind about this TTC.

You might have all the reasons NOT to but if you want another one. Then do it! You will always adapt. But it's hard to think "I wish I did at the time and did not do it".

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thanks everyone. I know I have beaten this topic to death. I guess I will see what DH and I talk about tonight.

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Honestly, in my opinion, if you're thinking this hard about it then I think you'll regret if you don't. I don't think you'll regret if you do.

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I am in the same boat as you except DH is on board now. We agreed to try after DD's 2nd birthday (so this time next year but), then he said how about we try March or April coming up . I was shocked and now a little nervous but I think I am nervous because this one is actually being planned . I wouldn't worry so much about weight because you will loose it. Sharing a room isn't that big of deal either, I did it with my brother and then he and my other brother shared a room when we moved. Money, well their is never enough whether you have 1 or 10 and that always seems to have a way of working itselfs out. I plan on helping our children with college but I am not going to be paying for all of it or put myself in debit for it.

Bottom line for me, if I am dwelling this much on it then I need to just do it because I know I will regret the decision if I don't have a third. My grandmother who is 86 actually told me that she always wanted 3 but she was already 36 when she had my mom so she felt like she was already getting to old.

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IMHO........you're going to have another. Your heart want is and your mind isn't too far from it.

We share the whole 10 months apart thing. You are president and I am vise president. If I didn't have an older DD, we would have had another in a heart beat. Affording 3 kids is not easy but totally do-able. A fourth would be pushing it for us KWIM?

If we were to have another we would do it when Ayla was 2. That way when the new baby was born they woudl be 3, 2 and newborn. You're thinking is jus tliek mine. I really wish we coudl have another. Mayeb we will. We go back and fourth just like you, but liek I said we have 3 already.

It's your life but my 2 cents is GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your DH was from 4, your family would only be 3. You're gonna have one. I have a very good feeling.

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