Please make me feel better about age difference

I am probably going to sound really stupid, but I am having extreme anxiety about the fact we are expecting our second child and DD will only be 26 months when the baby is born. We planned this child and wanted it so bad, but I didnt realize how worried I would be that I am depriving DD of needed attention from her parents. I am so scared of hurting her. It doesnt help that some family members and friends havent expressed excitment over the pregnancy or felt the need to congratulate us. All they say to us is how much work its going to be, and am I sure we are ready for this and express concern for DD cause of how little DD will be when the baby is born. I feel like a terrible parent and now I am having a hard time getting excited about this baby. Please reassure me DD will be fine. My heart bursts with how much I love our little girl!

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

my two are 23 months apart, and its wonderful to watch them play together! They LOVE each other. You're not depriving your DD - you're giving her a best friend and playmate.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

My cousin is pregnant with her 3rd baby. Her 1st and 2nd baby are a little over 6years apart. Her 2nd and 3rd baby will be 1 month short of a year apart.

She's heard a million times that it is going to be hard work, and unfortunitely people usually like to say that before they even say Congratuions! Of course it's going to be hard. Having one baby is hard work! We don't need to be constantly reminded! But when she came to my mom really upset my mom gave her amazing advise.

Long story short, my mom has 5 kids. I have 1 older brother who is only a year and 2 months older than me, and 3 younger brothers. 1 is 3yrs younger than me, than 5yrs youger and then 8yrs younger. As you can see...3yrs was the biggest gap.

So my mom told her ... Remember when you had your first child, you never thought you'd be able to handle all the work, or figure out what to do? But you did!! And since the first day you've held him you didn't think it was possible to love someone that much? Well when you have you have the next one you'll love it just as much and you'll wonder how it's possible to love 2 children that way! She says you just 'know' as a mother what to do..and your just 'love' as a mother without understanding...

And as for being a child who had an older brother basically a year older and a younger brother 3yrs younger..I never EVER felt less-loved or like I didn't get enough attention...so don't worry about that!

Hopefully this helps!

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

I don't think 26 mos is so close.....why are people giving you unnecessary grief! My 2 bors are 2 yrs apart as are my brother and I. No biggie. Plus plenty of people have kids ways closer than 26 mos! Don't worry, she will be fine. You aren't going to stop loving her just because you have another baby! You are giving her a great gift-a sibling!!!

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

Thank you for reaffirming what I already know. I appreciate it!

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

Mine are 12 years apart so I'm on the other end of the spectrum but I can tell you that my brother was only 10 months old when I was born (obviously mom didn't wait ) and my older brother was only 6 y/o. She said it was difficult but she managed. Since my brother and I are so close in age we always had a playmate and as we got older we would go partying together. I never felt like I was deprived of anything. I think its normal to be nervous but I'm sure you'll be just fine

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

I'm 23 months older than my twin sibs. It was great growing up that close to each other. We were still into the same things at the same time.

DS and DD are 3 years apart, almost exactly. They play together a lot, but you can definitely see the age difference in how and what they play.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

Aw, don't worry about that. My girls are 20 mos. apart and my sister and I are 20 mos. apart too. As the older siblings, Katherine and I don't remember life without our sisters. Hey, if my parents neglected me, I was too young to know.

But yes, like you, I was worried about the same thing. I fell to pieces when I had to move DD#1 to her new room before her sister was born. I went out and bought exactly the same sheets and bumper so that maybe she wouldn't realize. I was a little crazy. I cried after her sister was born because I thought she "knew" she wasn't the only star in our sky anymore.

Let me tell you, those feelings vanished very quickly. Yes, you'll be too busy to focus on that for too long...and that's a good thing. Before you know it, you'll be crying when you overhear the two of them laughing together during a game they're playing.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

My brother and I are 25 months apart and we always and still do get along great! I mean we had our little fights (all brothers & sister probably do), but, as we got older, we grew closer.

My nephew and neice are 2 Under 2 (they are now 4 and 2.5) and they get along pretty good as well.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

I am going to have 3 under 2! My sons will be 18 months when my new son is born. I am worried for them a little bit but I know they will love having a sibling close in age throughout their lifetime.

I am doing special activites with them now, and DH and I are planning a bunch of things to make sure that they don't have any less attention than they do now.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

Don't worry it will all work out. My ds's are 14 months apart. At 26 months apart your first dd will be able to be mommy's little helper. I'm amazed how good my 1st ds is with the baby and he was only 14 months when he was born. Enjoy the pregnancy and think what good friends and playmates they will be for each other.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

I am 16 months older than my brother, and that brother is 16 months older than our youngest brother. (My sister is 23 months older than me).

We had a great childhood being so close in age.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

i thought that was on the later side ...or def avg..2 yrs apart is nice...close but not too close!!

mine are 17 months apart..yeah it was hard...but it is great and wouldnt change a thing!

congrats! Enjoy them.they will be so close BECAUSE of their age! =)

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

DD will be 29 months when DS is born. I would have liked them to be closer. They are gonna be buddies and I can't wait for DD to be able to play with him.

Just look at it this way. DC #2 and so on will NEVER have that alone time that DD had with you. It's precious, but do you really want it to last forever? I am the oldest of 3. My sister is my BEST FRIEND and we are 26 months apart. My brother and I are 7 years apart. I have a great relationship with both. But my sister and I are like glue. And I am so thankful for both my siblings!

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

26 months isn't that close. Miranda was 28 months older than her sister. She was such a great helper, running to get me diapers and wipes, she got me water all the time, helped me shush her to sleep. Now they're thick as thieves! I wouldn't worry, it will be great

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

My children are 26 months apart (less one day) and it is fantastic. I do not feel that DS is deprived of anything since DD has arrived. Rather I feel like there have been so many benefits. He is learning
- to be patient (waiting for me to finish nursing DD before I can help him with his next immediate desire)
- how to help (get tissue for DD who spit up after nursing)
- spatial relationships (i.e. do not jump on your sister)
- sharing
- the love that a sibling provides
Everything will be fine. Good luck. 26 months is a wonderful age difference.

Re: Please make me feel better about age difference

I have three children and the oldest is 27 months the middle is 13 months and the baby is 22 days old... you have to see how cute my older two play together and they constantly want to give kisses to the baby.. you are not depriving your DD of anything and if you want to spend alone time with each child you can do it when either are sleeping....