Please help-Nursery School Drama

Hi, I am soo upset, and need some advice.

Ava turned 2 in July. She is a bright,friendly and active toddler. She really enjoys the company of other children- so I thought that Nursery school was a great idea. I found a Lutheran Church nearby that has a very nice school in it. They offer classes for 2,3 and 4 year olds. For 2 year olds, class is 2 days a week for 2 hours. It is reasonably priced, and most importantly they are MAT certified for her peanut allergy.

I point out th "big girl" school every time we have driven past it and she seemed really excited to go. We went to "welcome day" on Wednesday so that the kids could meet the teachers, each other and become familiar with the school...Ava loved it, but still stayed close to me.

Then on Friday, it was the first time we would be leaving the children alone. So-I walked her in said goodbye and ran. I joined all of the Mom's who were outside peeking in the windows. All of the kids were screaming. Then a child spotted us and the closed the shades.

30 minutes later they called me and said she was "inconsolable" and to pick her up. I went in and the asst teacher brought her out. She has been a wreck ever since- she does not let me leave her sight.

Do I bring her back and let her cry it out, or do I not????

I hear a lot of different opinions. She is vvvvvveeerrryyyy attached to me and is upset when I am not around- I am a sahm- so I am always around.

Do I force her to go or wait till she is 3 to try again????

Any advice is appreciated..

Message edited 10/8/2006 10:30:22 PM.

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

Posted by avamamma

Hi, I am soo upset, and need some advice.

Ava turned 2 in July. She is a bright,friendly and active toddler. She really enjoys the company of other children- so I thought that Nursery school was a great idea. I found a Lutheran Church nearby that has a very nice school in it. They offer classes for 2,3 and 4 year olds. For 2 year olds, class is 2 days a week for 2 hours. It is reasonably priced, and most importantly they are MAT certified for her peanut allergy.

I point out th "big girl" school every time we have driven past it and she seemed really excited to go. We went to "welcome day" on Wednesday so that the kids could meet the teachers, each other and become familiar with the school...Ava loved it, but still stayed close to me.

Then on Friday, it was the first time we would be leaving the children alone. So-I walked her in said goodbye and ran. I joined all of the Mom's who were outside peeking in the windows. All of the kids were screaming. Then a child spotted us and the closed the shades.

30 minutes later they called me and said she was "inconsolable" and to pick her up. I went in and the asst teacher brought her out. She has been a wreck ever since- she does not let me leave her sight.

Do I bring her back and let her cry it out, or do I not????

I hear a lot of different opinions. She is vvvvvveeerrryyyy attached to me and is upset when I am not around- I am a sahm- so I am always around.

Do I force her to go or wait till she is 3 to try again????

Any advice is appreciated..

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

IMO-

If she dosent NEED to go right now- then Id give it one more year(unless of course this is something you really want her to do)- and if she is still inconsolable then you should let her CIO...

From experience- I can say that the crying only lasts a couple of days- and then the children are fine and grow to love it!

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

I have no idea on any kind of advice because I haven't tried to send my 2 year old to school yet, but I feel he would do the same. IMO, 2 is very young for a complete separation. Have you tried other type of classes where you are there with her? After she gets used to that, it's a slow process to leave them alone (I am going through that with Andrew now). I take him to a gym class where they have separation time, and its getting better each week, but he's still attached to his mommy

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

personally, i would keep her out of school this year. maybe she's not ready!

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

Posted by JTK

personally, i would keep her out of school this year. maybe she's not ready!

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

Thanks Moms, I am leaning towards taking her out and trying next year.

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

Two is a little yong for school. I know that I started Sammy at 3 in school however he was always going to a babysitter since I work full time. At two I just wanted Sam playing with others.

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

My school has a nursery school attached and they do a 2 year old toddler class just once a week for two hours and the parents are required to stay with the children. Maybe you can find a program like that so she can get used to the setting for a while.

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

what do they teachers suggest? I know I was a very outgoing kid, but freaked the first day of nusery school AND I had my 2 best friends with me.

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

You can try to stick it out.. DD was great the first 2 weeks of school and then for a week she was terrible. I build up all weekend that she is going to school and she will have so much fun and then I always tell her that mommy comes back. I think IMO that if you do not do it now it will be even worse next year. Maybe ask the teachers if you can stay a little bit and show her how much fun it is and then slowly leave the room. Or stay untill they go outside and then leave. Give it a few more weeks and see what happens. If she is still upset then maybe do a mommy and me type of class.. that encourages seperation but you are still in the room.

Good Luck!!

Re: Please help-Nursery School Drama

Jack just started a toddler program 2x a week from 9-11:30. It was rough at first and he still gets a little anxious when we pull up to the school, but once he is there and playing he does good. He still has his moments where he cries and wants me, but overall he is progressing and doing better each time.

He will be 2 next week. Some things that helped us:
-his school had a transition week where you only left them for an hour. I acutally did this with him for about 2 weeks. So that he would be there for a very short time and start to understand that he plays for a little while, then I come back to pick him up.

- each day I ask the teachers to make sure they call me if he gets very upset. It needs to be positive experience and our school absolutely agrees and their main priority is that the kids are enjoying themselves.

- I try to read the same books each week that they are reading at school so that he recognizes them. Now at night, he tells me Ms Mandy at school when he sees a familiar book

- just keep emphasizing that you come back. I always tell Jack, that mom is going to go to the store while he plays and I will be back soon. Now when I ask him about school he tells me "mom comes back."

Sorry for the long post, but I guess my point is that like anything with our kids everything takes time and for some the transition is worse than for others. Try to stick it out if you really want her in the program. Jack's teachers told me it can take anywhere from 4-8 weeks for kids to be ok and not cry when being dropped off and picked up. We are at about 6 weeks and he stopped crying when I drop him off and sometimes cries when I pick him up. So overall, huge turn around from day 1 when he clung to me like never before.