Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

I am sorry for all these BF posts, I just don't know where else to turn for non biased advice. Everyone around me except DH, is pro breastfeeding, and they make me feel like I would be committing a mortal sin if i feed her formula.

I am on the verge of tears right now. I am starting to consider quitting BF'ing. I really don't want too, I absolutely love it, and I have been working with a LC for the last 2 weeks to get over these obstactles but I keep trying to focus on the sunshine over the hill and that I am doing what's best.

I just feel like everything and anything that could happen to a new mom who is breastfeeding has happened to me, infected nipples, now mastitis, the overwhelming feeling that my baby girl isn't getting enough food even though she wets/poops diapers like she is suppose too.

I am not the quitting type, it's just not in my type A personality, I keep telling myself give it another week it will get better. Add to this, I am still in alot of pain from the birth plus i think i still have some lingering PPD. This rain is sooo NOT helping!

I guess I am just asking for some support, someone just to tell me it's okay, I am not the only one who has gone through this 2 weeks PP and with breastfeeding.

I really don't want to quit, but sometimes, especially at night, bottle feeding seems sooo tempting and easier on me because I am the one who does the nightly feedings.

Thank you for listening, and for your needed advice and support

I feel like i am drowning...

Message edited 5/16/2006 11:42:09 AM.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

The first month is the hardest I've been there 2x. It is fine if you want to supplement, a bottle will NOT hurt her!! You are doing a great job!!! Since she has enough wet diapers she is getting enough to eat. The sun will come out tomorrow (seriously

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

I went through this too. I had to visit the LC three times I was having so much trouble. When you BF it is very demanding on you physically. When you start to feel better from the infection, your mood will improve too. As long as your baby is putting on weight and wetting and soiling diapers, there is no problem.

Maybe talk to your DH and ask him to be more supportive of you and your decision to BF. Tell him you need his support right now to do what is best for you and your DD.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

You need to stop beating yourself up over this. No one (including your DH) can tell you what's right for you. Breastfeeding while the most natural thing can be very tough. It doesn't have to be this hard but sometimes it is - coupled with the fact that your body is still trying to adjust to the fact it doesn't have to produce extra hormones for a baby that is no longer in utereo- so you've got an excess supply. You may want to give yourself a deadline of 1 more week (if you can last that long). If you get through that week & you still feel the same way, stop. You're better off being a happy mommy than being a stressed, burned out mom trying to nurse her child. Better formula than breast milk filled with stress hormones.

If you need to start supplementing to get the rest you need, then do it. I nursed my kids for 11 mos & 5 mos. - they're as sick as the formulafed babies. The thing that kept me from stopping is that I preferred the alone time with my child & that I wanted to lose weight. If I could start pumping breast milk to get rid of my fat tush, I'd consider it (my kids are 2 & 4).

You are not alone...many of us felt the same way. The first weeks (ok first 3 months but one week at a time) are the toughest.

Chin up - you just participated in a miracle.

Message edited 5/16/2006 11:57:28 AM.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

Awww, Michele, I PROMISE you that nearly ALL women who BF have gone through the exact same mix of emotions! BFing was sooooooooo hard in the beginning for me, and that was with a baby who DID latch properly! My boobs hurt soooooo much it was unbelievable. And though I never doubted that my daughter was getting enough, my husband did almost everyday, and almost single-handedly ruined my BF relationship with my daughter by demanding that we bottle feed her to determine how much she was eating. Remember, BF is the most natural way of feeding baby so try not to doubt that she's getting enough. As long as she has enough poopy and wet diapers, she's GOOD. She may still squirm, strain, cry, BF for hours on end, etc., but that's not because she isn't getting enough! There are a whole slew of reasons for that like acid reflux, gas, or just the comfort of mommy.

It is HARD, it is VERY VERY hard, there is no doubt. You're in incredible pain not just from BF but from recovery, your hormones are all over the place, you feel like an alien in your own body and feel like your whole world has been turned inside out. I remember. It's a LOT to handle all at once. This is why women give childbirth because we all know a man wouldn't survive even an hour of all this And, honestly, even the strongest of women doubt themselves and end up in rolling into a little ball and crying their eyes out, but I PROMISE, within a few weeks you should start to get the hang of it and it should start to come easier to you. Continue with your LC, and also check out the La Leche League website - they give lots of tips for new BF moms and how to alleviate some of the pain and aggravation. And, remember, in the end, if you're not happy and it's too much of a struggle, do what is best for YOU. Plenty of babies were raised on formula (in fact, most of us!), and we came out just fine, so don't beat yourself up if you decide to go that route!

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

You have FM

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

The beginning is the hardest. I had 3 different nurses trying to latch my daughter in the hospital. Eventually we both got the hang of it. I BF for 4 months, but I would use formula to supplement. For me that was a big help. It would allow me the best of both worlds. I had my sanity AND the BF experience. It is a personal decision though. I had sore cracked nipples (sorry TMI) and between that and my c-section area- it hurt to take a shower. I remember putting a towel over myself IN the shower because the water pounding on me hurt. It's a challenge. You have to give yourself credit for even TRYING and WANTING to do it.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

Getting thru those first few weeks is very hard...IF you want to BF then you just have to tell yourself "this too shall pass" and KNOW that things do get easier.
You need to find confidance in yourself...you are feeding her enough. Keeping a chart of diapers help me to know that. I would just make check marks and count them at the end of the day.
is your DH being supportive? I know that made a HUGE difference in my ability to keep going when it got really tough.
Hugs to you!!!

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

If you are only on the verge of tears and not actually crying on a regular basis, I'm impressed. I remember asking my doctor if anyone ever dropped dead of exhaustion just from being a new mom. (The answer was no by the way.)

If you love breastfeeding, there is no reason in the world for you to stop. Formula feeding would not be a miracle cure for the feelings you are having or for the tiredness.

Trust yourself, trust your body, and trust the professionals (pediatrician and LCs) that are watching over you and your baby. If she wasn't eating enough you wouldn't be changing so many diapers!

If you'd like a pep talk on the phone, I'd be very happy to give you a call. I remember how you are feeling very, very well!!!

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

Thank you all

I am just feeling so overwhelmed. I wish I still had some help here. It's so hard living a state away from all my family, I wish I had my support system nearby.

I am keeping track of her feedings/diapers, I am borderline obbessive about it.

You guys are absolutely right, I have to stop beating myself up and just know I am doing it. I have a content little baby, who sleeps 2-4 hours a clip, and is probably better at feeding than I think I am.

I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better, I will in less pain tomorrow...

If I wasn't feeding her enough, she would be screaming right?
And how do you prevent Mastitis? What causes it?

Message edited 5/16/2006 4:43:09 PM.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

MASTITIS
Mastitis means that the breast is inflamed, and there is swelling, redness, tenderness and pain. There may be an infection, so it is wise to consult your health-care provider to determine whether or not an antibiotic is necessary. A breast infection can become a breast abscess that requires surgical draining, but this can almost always be prevented by treating mastitis promptly.

Signs of mastitis include:

Part or all of the breast is intensely painful, hot, tender, red, and swollen. Some mothers can pinpoint a definite area of inflammation, while at other times the entire breast is tender.

You feel tired, run down, achy, have chills or think you have the flu. A breastfeeding mother who thinks she has the flu probably has mastitis. Mothers with mastitis will sometimes experience these flu-like symptoms, even before they get a fever or notice breast tenderness.

You have chills or feel feverish, or your temperature is 101F or higher. These symptoms suggest that you have an infection.

You are feeling progressively worse, your breasts are growing more tender, and your fever is becoming more pronounced. With simple engorgement, a plugged duct, or mastitis without infection, you gradually feel better instead of worse.

Recent events have set you up for mastitis: cracked or bleeding nipples, stress or getting run down, missed feedings or longer intervals between feedings.
PREVENTING MASTITIS
The best way to prevent mastitis is to avoid the situations that set you up for it.

Relieve engorgement promptly. Milk that doesn't flow gets thicker and clogs the ducts, which is a set-up for mastitis.
Breastfeed frequently. Don't restrict the length of feedings.
If you feel your breasts getting full, encourage your baby to nurse. You don't have to wait for baby to tell you he's hungry.
Avoid sleeping on your stomach or so far over on your side that your breasts are compressed against the mattress.
Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest (both of mind and body).
REPEATED EPISODES OF MASTITIS
Problems with recurrent mastitis are usually the result of irregular breastfeeding patterns: missing feedings, giving bottles in place of breastfeedings, or skipping pumping sessions when separated from the baby. Recurrent mastitis may also mean that mother's immune system is generally run down, because of fatigue and stress. Mastitis is a sign that you need to take a closer look at your lifestyle and breastfeeding relationship and make some adjustments.

TREATING MASTITIS
Treating mastitis is much like treating engorgement only more urgent. Try these suggestions in addition to those listed under engorgement.

Rest, rest, rest. Mastitis is an illness, so take a medical leave from all responsibilities other than breastfeeding. Take your baby to bed with you and nurse. Rest relieves stress and replenishes your immune system.

Alternate warm and cold compresses on your breasts. Cold compresses relieve pain; warmth increases circulation, which mobilizes infection-fighters in the inflamed area. Lean over a basin of warm water, stand in a warm shower, or soak in a warm bath. Warm water or a warm, wet towel is more effective than the dry heat of a heating pad. For cold compresses, use crushed ice in plastic bags or bags of frozen vegetables, covered with a thin dishtowel to protect your skin.

Gently massage the area of tenderness. This increases circulation, helps to loosen any plugged ducts in the area, and mobilizes local immune factors. Try doing this while soaking the breast in a warm shower or bath.

Breastfeed frequently on the affected side. If it hurts to nurse the baby, start the feeding on the breast that is not sore, and switch to the sore side after your milk lets down. Breastfeeding is usually more comfortable when the milk is flowing. It's important to empty the inflamed breast. As in other parts of the body, fluid that is trapped can get infected. Your baby can empty your breast more efficiently than a breast pump. However, if your baby is not nursing well, you may have to use a breast pump or hand expression to get the milk out.

Vary the baby's position at the breast, so that all the ducts are emptied.

Take analgesics for fever and pain. Acetaminophen and/or ibuprofen are safe to take while breastfeeding. Unrelieved pain not only decreases your ability to produce milk, but suppresses your body's ability to fight infection.

Drink lots of fluids, as you would if you had the flu. Fever and inflammation increase your need for fluids.

Boost your immune system with good nutrition.

Sleep without a bra. At other times, wear a looser fitting bra that does not put pressure on the affected area. Or if possible, go without a bra.

Don't quit nursing at this point. Weaning increases the risk of a breast infection turning into a breast abscess that requires surgical draining. Continuing to nurse your baby is the best treatment for engorgement, mastitis and breast infections.

If baby refuses to nurse on the affected breast, it may be because inflammation of the milk glands increases the sodium content of your milk, giving it a salty taste. Most babies either don't notice or don't mind, and go right on nursing. Some may object to the change and fuss or refuse to nurse from that side. Try starting the feeding on the unaffected side and finishing on the salty side. As the inflammation subsides, your milk will soon return to its usual taste.
DO YOU NEED ANTIBIOTIC TREATMENT?
You can experience the pain and inflammation of mastitis without necessarily having a bacterial infection. Yet it is often difficult to tell whether mastitis has become a breast infection. Consult your healthcare provider as soon as you suspect mastitis. In our medical practice, we operate on the principle of better to treat mastitis earlier than later. Mothers who are given antibiotics too late in the course of mastitis are more likely to wean their babies from the breast, to have a more severe infection, and to have the infection recur.

The following guidelines can help you both determine whether or not you need an antibiotic.

You may not need an antibiotic in the following situations:

You do not have a history of frequent episodes of mastitis.
You don't feel that sick.
You have not gotten progressively sicker over the last few hours.
Your fever is not rising.
The breast pain and tenderness is not increasing.
You can easily correct whatever factors may have set you up for engorgement in the first place.
Signs suggesting you do need antibiotic treatment:

A history of frequent mastitis
A fever that is rising.
You are feeling progressively sicker as the hours go by.
Your nipples are cracked, which allows bacteria to get into your breast tissue more easily.
Which antibiotics are best? The type of bacteria involved in mastitis is usually staphylococcus, and the two safest and most effective classes of antibiotics against this organism are cloxacillins and cephalosporins. Other frequently prescribed antibiotics are Augmentin or erythromycin. All of these antibiotics are safe to take while breastfeeding. Even though you will feel better after a few days of taking antibiotics, be sure to complete the full course of antibiotics prescribed by your doctor (usually ten days); otherwise you run the risk of the mastitis returning. If you don't feel better after two or three days on antibiotics, call your doctor. He or she may wish to prescribe a different medication.




Source

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

www.kellymom.com is a GREAT resource for BF moms.
We are all here cheering you on

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

Posted by michele31

www.kellymom.com is a GREAT resource for BF moms.
We are all here cheering you on

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

I probably can't be of much help in the way of BFing advice. I thought I knew it all but when it came down to it I couldn't get my daughter to breastfeed. However I do have to say that you should stick with it, and that LC do work wonders. It is so frustrating but it is the best for the baby and that is my biggest regret, that I didn't just keep trying until it worked.

I can't offer you more then hugs and patience. And I am 7 months post-partum and think I still suffer from PPD sometimes. I've never really admitted it to anyone but my DH, never spoke with my dr about it --- but realize it's very common, nothing with you, and if it's really bad speak with your doctor. They can help.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

whatever you choose is the right choice for you and your child. I swore up and down that I would ONLY BF and then Alyson did not latch well and wouldn't even ATTEMPT to s u c k when offered the breast. I wrestled with the idea, and then came to a personal decision that it wasn't worth the fight....I didn't want to force it on her. So what if she prefers a bottle because it's easier.....then so be it.

She's gaining fine and healthy as a horse. DH supported whatever decision I chose. PLEASE don't feel guilty...I did for weeks and weeks, but knew that I made a choice that was right for us. DH was able to participate in her feedings, going out became easier.

just do what is right for you. Do NOT let anyone tell you otherwise.....give them the above answer. You did what was right for you and your child.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

At the begining breastfeeding was soooo hard for me... It was painful and I wasn't enjoying it as I thought that I was going to... and I wanted to quit. Now, I'm so glad that I didn't.

It is going to get better. After a month, everything was different and I didn't feel more pain. If you love breastfeeding, keep in mind that it will get better and never feel guilty for any decision you make.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

BF was so hard in the beginning, but it DOES get easier! There were definitely times when I wanted to give it up, but I'm so glad I stuck with it. It's not fair that BF is so hard in the beginning just when you're dealing with all of your post partum hormones and being so tired and sleep deprived.

Re: Please help me, need advice-RE: BF'ing...Long

There is nothing wrong with supplementing with a bottle if it will help you to get some rest and keep trying, rather than quitting. Do you pump at all? If you pumped once a day then there would be a bottle of BM for DH to give at night, but if pumping is not an option - nothing is wrong with giving a bottle of formula. The die-hard lactation people will make it seem like that is the worst thing you can do, but don't listen! It DOES get easier, and you will be so happy you stuck with it!