Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I am at my wits end. I am crying hysterically. The past week has been hell. DS used to sleep so well, from early on. Now that he nears 1 year, it's almost as if he thinks the crib is going to kill him. If we are lucky enough to have him fall asleep in our arms, and transfer him, he will wake up and scream bloody murder. And he will be up for HOURS.

Add this to:
-He no longer takes naps. (About 6 weeks ago he started taking the glorious 1-2 hour nap. Now, I'm lucky if he falls asleep for five minutes without waking with hysterical, sobbing screams.

-He can't handle us going into another room anymore. He went through a stage of separation anxiety around 6 months, which completely stopped once he was able to follow us room to room. Now, within one second of not seeing us, hysterical sobs.

-He throws food at us

-Temper tantrums are horrible

I know he has some teeth coming in, but he didn't go through this with the first 6. I know he's going through a growth spurt.

Can this be a new form of separation anxiety? Please tell me this is a phase. This past week has been such hell that I don't even want to have his birthday party anymore. I am contmeplating taking strangers up on the offer to watch him. I am so fed up that I am screaming at him, which is not helping the situation. I am so lost and I can't take it anymore. I am so worn down and don't feel well.

Please, please, please help me.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I don;t really have any advice, but wanted to offer some

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Just hugs and no advise.

For the past several days we are going through the same.

He sleep at 11pm (it used to be 8pm). He wakes up at 7am (it used to be 6am) but sometimes wakes up at 6:30am. 1 nap per day. Or 2 but only 30 minutes. The other one at 5pm.

He just refuses to sleep.


His past sleeping pattern:
8pm: go to bed
6am: wakes up
8:30: nap for 1.5-2 hours
1:00: nap for 1.5-2 hours.

Yes... I understand the frustration and lack of sleep and having to entertain him from 7am to 11pm with 1 hour break.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Absolutely find a babysiitter and get a break -- you've earned it...

If you want to talk CIO, let me know. Its hard, but could help.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

It's a phase!!!

We went through the same thing with DS when he was about 11 mos or so. He would scream the second his hiney hit the crib mattress and go on and on until he fell asleep. It lasted about a month and then stopped.

He also did the thing where he screams if we leave the room. It's gotten better over the past couple of weeks but he still does it sometimes. What worked for us is to give him a toy to play with and then once his attention is focused on that, we'd leave the room.

The throwing food thing is new for us, too. When he starts doing that, he's simply done eating and I put everything away and take him out of his highchair.

The temper tantrums he gets are from lack of sleep and from teething. He's cutting all 4 top teeth at the same time and he was at times inconsolable until the first 2 broke through. Now he still gets cranky but it's not as bad.

I'm sorry, Kelly. I hope it gets better soon. We're here for you.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I don't have any advice for you Kelly, but I am hoping for you that this is a phase. Maybe it is a combo of separation anxiety, growth spurt, teething all at the same time. I know that would definitely make me cranky!

I hope Michael feels better soon which in turn will make you feel better! Hang in there!

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Ds is 7 months, i guess ill prepare for this...

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

My DS went through that with the sleeping/naps starting around 8.5 mos (you can probably search and find my past threads). I thought it was just a phase but, the more I gave in to it, the worse it got. It continued until finally I resorted to Dr. Ferber/CIO around 9.5 mos. It was the ONLY thing that worked and I tried everything.

Sending you lots and lots of b/c I have been there and the sleep deprivation nearly drove me over the edge.

ETA: My DS also went through a phase of horrible temper tantrums around the same time...they still come once and a while but, it got much better after the Ferber/CIO - I think it is worse b/c of the lack of sleep - it seriously affects them too!

Message edited 8/12/2008 1:59:50 PM.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

no advice just

hopefully its just a phase and it will pass...I know when DD got her first teeth she had pretty bad seperation anxiety!

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Im so sorry you are dealing with this!!
I've never had any sleep issues but lately DD is having major temper tantrums, and last Friday I was crying too. I got so frustrated and on the drive home I just started to cry. You sound like you need a major break.. some "mommy time". I hope everything gets better soon!!!!

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

It sounds like you need some well-deserved Mommy time - and BEFORE DS's party - so you're refreshed.

Unfortuantely, I dont have a lot of great "how to get them to sleep" advice for you, as we're still dealing with this as well...

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

oh Kelly I am so sorry. I have def. been there with no sleep. All i can say is babies sleep patterns ALWAYS change. so hang in there i am sure Michael will sleep for you again..

It can be his teeth. Perhaps his gums are hurting him..

try tylenol tonight. it may help him sleep and if it is his teeth it may ease the pain while laying down.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

i'm so sorry---hang in there

We went through this with DS last month and it lasted about 2 or 3 weeks. He still has little tantrums here and there but nothing like it was in that timeframe.

It is so upsetting and frustrating and so hard not to feel terrible for the fact that you are feeling so upset with their behaviour. I didn't want to be mad at him but my patience level was definately being tested. I started to kind of grow immune to it.

It's a phase. This too shall pass. But in the meantime I agree that maybe a few hours away would help you recharge.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

You're not alone, trust me...There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it requires a schedule revamp...start with wearing your son out at night...run him, play with him, do whatever you could to get him tired. He will get a nice good night sleep and you can start with the naps the next day. He should be getting two naps...one in the morning, a short one, and one in the afternoon, no longer than 1.5 hours...I don't know how you put him down for his naps, but you should get him tired as well before those. I know its hard, but thats the only way things will work, if you dedicate yourself to making those changes. Its tough, and like you said, yelling does make things a 1000X worst. I try to be as calm as possible with DS, and when he gets carried away I just put him down and try to walk away for a second...I don't want to become a screaming mom since it really doesn't make things any better...it makes things worst.

The separation anxiety is a phase, DS is taken care of by family members but he does get a little sad when we're leaving...when we pick him up in the afternoon and put him down for a while as we're getting him ready, he'll start to cry. I'm sure its a phase and it will pass.

As far as the feeding goes, I'm not much of help but I would try to calm him down before eating, or maybe even feed him in fron of TV or distract him with a toy. But make sure that he understands that food is not to be thrown.

ETA: What I aslo wanted to say is that we're all going through the same things. Kids adapt differently to developmental milestones and changes and we just have to be patient and help them get through it...whether its a sleep pattern change, teething, tantrums, etc. So you're not alone and hang in there!

Message edited 8/12/2008 4:01:59 PM.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

advice---buy a bottle of wine.

We have all been through it. Its the transition to toddlerhood and hell on ocassion. It will ease up...Just a phase!

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I'm so sorry Kelly....I would definitely take someone up on an offer to watch him. You need some time to breathe and relax in a different environment. It sounds like a combination of a growth spurt and teething all rolled into one. I tonight is a better night and you get some rest.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I know it's really hard and hopefully it will pass. I went through the same thing with DS#1. Now it's happening with DS#2. Just hang in there.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

No advice just

Hopefully it's a phase that passes by quickly

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

Yikes, that sounds aweful. You poor thing.

Honestly it sounds like something threw him off his sleep patterns and now he has become so overtired that he can not unwind and settle down to a good sleep.

If you are a believer in ferber. I would try it, because when you are desperate, anything is better than being entirely sleep deprived.

If not how about trying to make him take naps by driving him around or walking in the stroller every two hours. Maybe in the car you could get a snooze too. I am sure you have tried everything.

I wish you luck. MAybe soon he will feel better. Did you try a visit to the pediatrician to rule out ear infections or something. Maybe his sleep will go back to normal soon.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

FM

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)

I read somewhere that at about one, a child is able to dream and have nightmares. DS has been getting up at midnight about 4 nights a week. He turned 1 on the first. He also has been skipping his naps. What I fnd helps us is talking to him if we are in another room. He freaks out if I close the gate to run upstairs to get something. I think it is a stage. Good luck.

Re: Please help me; I'm going to completely lose it (LONG)