opinions needed...

im half jewish, half catholic. my bf is catholic. we decided to raise the baby catholic, it dosnt really matter to me which way we go cuz im not religious and it matters to him so i said fine. my mom (who is the the jewish one) accepted this since it is our decision anyway.

now, its a jewish tradition to give babies the middle name of someone who died. she wanted me to give the middle name of rose for my uncle robert who died 2 years ago. i loved the idea since i love the name rose and i was also very close to my uncle. my bf hates the name and im pretty sure just hates the idea just because its a jewish thing (he dosnt agree with the religion at all). so i said fine whatever and gave up on the idea.

so tonight i was talking to my mom and she asked me that since we arent giving the name rose, she wants a rabbi to come to the hospital and say a prayer over the baby in honer of my uncle. she feels that he it will make him at peace. i agreed with it because i dont see the big deal in it and if it makes her happy and shuts her up, fine.

i wasnt gonna say anything to my bf about it, i was just gonna hope that the rabbi came at a time when he wasnt there and he would never have to know about it but i started feeling bad about not telling him, figured he should have the benefit of knowing whats going on. whats the big deal anyway? its just a prayer, dosnt hurt, if anything its just one more thing to protect our baby.

no not to him, he flipped out. he thinks this will be the begining of her trying to push the jewish religion on the baby. i told him no, if i dont approve of something it dosnt happen and i just dont see the big deal about a prayer being said.

so what do i do? after telling my mom yes and her being SO happy that i agreed to it, do i say no? or do i say too bad to my bf and have it done since theres really no harm in it? its my baby too and i feel like i should have a say too since there are so many things i have sacrificed because he dosnt like it.

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Posted by jprimrose

Posted by melijane

Posted by steph7308



so what do i do? after telling my mom yes and her being SO happy that i agreed to it, do i say no? or do i say too bad to my bf and have it done since theres really no harm in it? its my baby too and i feel like i should have a say too since there are so many things i have sacrificed because he dosnt like it.

I think this sentence says it right here. he needs to compromise with you. you have said you will allow the baby to be raised Catholic but you need this done for you.

ITA I think your boyfriend also needs to accept that you and your family are Jewish. Even though you agreed to raise your daughter Catholic there maybe be some traditions that you may want to keep. You cannot totally change who you are and he needs to accept this. I think it is important for you to sit down and discuss this with him before the baby comes so you are both on the same page. I know it is hard when you are trying to make everyone happy. Remember you also need to make yourself happy.

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thanks for the advice... after talking to my mom i just found out that the prayer can be said without the baby even being there so it wont really be an issue anymore.

hes so hard to reason with. hes 23 years old and acts like a child all the time about things. i think it has to do with the way he was raised because i see how his family is and they all are the same way. i really dont want to but i think im just gonna have to do things behind his back for now on. i cant win no matter what i do. i love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him but sometimes i dont know how im gonna do that. its just so much easier to give him his way unless i want a huge fight and in the end he will still get his way. sometimes life really sucks.

Re: opinions needed...

Posted by steph7308

thanks for the advice... after talking to my mom i just found out that the prayer can be said without the baby even being there so it wont really be an issue anymore.

hes so hard to reason with. hes 23 years old and acts like a child all the time about things. i think it has to do with the way he was raised because i see how his family is and they all are the same way. i really dont want to but i think im just gonna have to do things behind his back for now on. i cant win no matter what i do. i love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him but sometimes i dont know how im gonna do that. its just so much easier to give him his way unless i want a huge fight and in the end he will still get his way. sometimes life really sucks.

Re: opinions needed...

Posted by newwife08


awww...sweetie Don't be sad...and don't feel like you alway have to give in...I know sometimes it feels easier to just let him win, but know when to pick your battles....and when it is really important to you, stand you ground. I promise you nothing good will come of you just letting him have his way all the time, there are 2 people here, 2 opinions, 2 views...and now a 3rd on the way...set the stage sweetie...this is the beginning of the rest of your life and don't let it suck...be a strong woman! And if he gets angry...let him...and you be the bigger person...sometimes we have to help someone grow, and you say hes only 23, so he still has a lot to learn...and since you are the mother of his child, you have a say in the way your life should be...I've been where you are and my best advice to you is to just be strong and do whats right in your heart each time, even if it may be stirring the pot with him...he has to learn to give you the respect you deserve...you are the mother of his child...thats the greatest gift in the world and he should cherish it....cherish you. If you ever need to talk or vent or whatever...fm me...good luck and don't be sad...you deserve to be happy EVERY SINGLE DAY...make it happen sweetie! You can