One and done because of finances

Has anyone stopped at one purely because they can't afford a second? I wasn't sure that I wanted a second but now that dd is a little older, I'm realizing I do want one. But we really don't think we can afford childcare, etc. I'm so worried I will regret stopping at one for an external reason.

One and done because of finances

It's a hard situation but honestly I can't afford one and we just had our second. We just make alot of a sacrafices. I would love three. i think can we push it and have another. But I have sometime until I'm ready for that.

Message edited 4/9/2014 9:25:57 PM.

Re: One and done because of finances

We have two, finances were a factor in the number we had, but one of many reasons.

It is such a personal choice. My DH is one of four, the youngest. They really could not afford the kids they had. Of course, no one regrets having more children. But, financial strain and resulting stress took a toll on my in laws, especially their marriage. Also, my DH and all of his siblings are very anxious about money, they worry a lot about not being able to provide for their kids, even though all of them are in good shape financially. They have that fear because of how they grew up.

Everyone is different though, others can handle the stress better. It all depends on your circumstances. Just make sure the two of you ate on the same page, no matter what you decide!

Re: One and done because of finances

I have one and feel the same way. We keep saying no because of $ but I really do want another. Everyone who has more says it works out. Everyone says you will find a way. I'm not sure we can make those sacrifices that others do. We are already in debt. And we really do want certain things for DD that I'm not yet ready to give up to have another one. Medical expenses have also been a factor. So I don't know what to say. Yes, we might be a 1 and done family because of finances. And it's hard and upsetting. But I do believe that for the anxiety we'd have to endure and extra workloads we'd need to take on in making sure we could afford two, it might be better off this way.

Re: One and done because of finances

It's such a personal and difficult decision. We have 2. We had financial help from my folks for daycare for our 2nd. It is so hard! I would love a third, but I'm getting older, and we just don't have enough to provide in the way we would like to for 3. So to answer your question, yes, finances did play into our decision

One and done because of finances

Its tought paying daycare. I dont have family as an option to watch them. Even if I did, who knows how long family can actually watch kids for. Stinks we'll have to stop for money.

One and done because of finances

We are postponing for 2 years. Need to pay off debt to afford 2 in daycare.

Re: One and done because of finances

Yes. That was us.

I'm 40 now, and our finances while better, are still not great. Plus... I'm older. So this'll be it.

Regret? At times, but it's fleeting. Will I regret it later? Maybe.

But I feel I have fully, fully enjoyed my son. I stayed up late at night worrying about affording basic things, but we got through, and I didn't gave to stretch myself among more than one kid.... So despite my stress, I was able to give him all of my energy. Everything I had.

I don't regret having a happy, content little boy who'll never feel his mother was stressed, stretched too thin, trying to juggle my attention and my resources amongst several kids so all he ever knew was a haggard, unhappy mom. Because that's who I'd be if there were more than him. I know how I am.

All in all, I can't regret what was meant to be. I'm blessed with a wonderful little boy . I have to trust that he was all I was meant to have. He was a surprise, and wasn't followed by any other surprises. So,., maybe everything worked out the way it was supposed to.