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Old joke but still cracks me up!!
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Old joke but still cracks me up!!
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed ! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condesce nding comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe .... for now
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Posted 11/29/07 10:11 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
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| Posted 11/29/07 11:41 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22132 total posts
Name:
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
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| Posted 11/29/07 5:58 PM |
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Andys-Bride
LIF Infant
Member since 3/07 154 total posts
Name:
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
yes, it is old but I love it!!
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| Posted 11/30/07 9:30 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
Oh my gosh... I have not laughed this hard in a long time!
That's hysterical!!!
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| Posted 11/30/07 4:23 PM |
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JMC1014
We got a puppy!!
Member since 5/07 1420 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
so cute!
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| Posted 11/30/07 4:53 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
Me too!!
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| Posted 11/30/07 8:22 PM |
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moonlithaze
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/06 667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Old joke but still cracks me up!!
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| Posted 11/30/07 10:08 PM |
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