Nerves and eating?

Does anyone get so nervous they can‘t eat?

I‘ve been spending a lot of time with SO’s family. It makes me nervous because I can’t understand everything they are saying because of the dialect. They’ve been really nice and speak the standard language, and that’s been helpful, but then they kind of head off into their own dialect with each other, understandably.

Anyway, when we all get together it’s always for a lunch, and the lunches are huge here (like roasts and heavy German food). They are also very heavy, and I’m a bit sick of German food. I don’t do heavy lunches. I like to have bigger dinners. I can never finish my food, and I feel so embarrassed about it.

The past few times I have gotten is that all you are eating, you eat like a bird, I guess you are so small that you can’t eat a lot, are you a vegetarian etc.

It has gotten worse over the visits. I tried to work out a plan where I just order a salad and then I’ll have coffee (I do wine instead,lol) and cake afterwards. I’ve told them that I just don’t eat big lunches and in the US we really don’t do that.

Today was bad. My nerves have totally gotten the best of me. I wake up super early because it takes me about 3 hours to get there. Then I worry on the train. SO picks me up and we continue to the mountains. There has been a lot of snow here and the drive took a lot longer than expected because we took windy country roads, which made me car sick. We got there and I just puked from the car sickness. The last thing I wanted to do was eat.

I order a small plate of salad, and I cannot eat it all. I have to explain that I am sick. Then they just stare at me like why isn’t she eating. I do want to be clear that I can eat normally at home and at work, etc.

TL;DR: do you get nervous and cannot eat in some situations?

Re: Nerves and eating?

All the time!

I feel like my brain doesn’t even realize I’m hungry when I’ve got a zillion thoughts swirling around in my head and knots in my stomach!

God especially with heavy foods. I wouldn’t even attempt heavy food when I’m nervous

You poor thing to be nervous and then on top of that to have everyone staring at you. Ugh what a cycle

I’m sure over time it’ll become easier but man that’s gotta be tough

Re: Nerves and eating?

No. But I kinda wish it was the case. I tend to over eat when I’m nervous because it helps soothe me. Which is why my life is living in a perpetual diet phase


Try some meditation or do something that helps calm you before these luncheons to help calm your nerves. And try to figure out why it makes you anxious. Other then them fixating in your plate (which is just something some people do) every aunt in my life growing up commented on my eating. It was usually “god bless her how she eats” yea great. Thanks for that and my “blessed” appetite

Re: Nerves and eating?

Yes. When I am nervous I get stomach pains, the runs, you name it.
I can't think of eating. I will even gag.
That's why I normally can't eat breakfast until like 11 am...my anxiety is worse in the morning when I wake up for some reason.

Re: Nerves and eating?

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

No. But I kinda wish it was the case. I tend to over eat when I’m nervous because it helps soothe me. Which is why my life is living in a perpetual diet phase


Try some meditation or do something that helps calm you before these luncheons to help calm your nerves. And try to figure out why it makes you anxious. Other then them fixating in your plate (which is just something some people do) every aunt in my life growing up commented on my eating. It was usually “god bless her how she eats” yea great. Thanks for that and my “blessed” appetite

Re: Nerves and eating?

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Can you talk to your SO and stop meeting with his family over lunch?

Re: Nerves and eating?

Is it lunch or Mittagsessen ?
(Mittagsessen is more like our dinner, the evening meal is then light).

Honestly don't worry what the others think. Don't get yourself sick over these people. Germans are stubborn and pigheaded (I'm one of them) and of course there is the conformity aspect.
YOU have to be fine with what you eat, German food is HEAVY. I don't cook it that often.

Is eating a piece of fish an option instead of a salad ?
There is always claiming Magenschmertz or Darmweh.

Nerves and eating?

I know you've posted before about the anxiety over eating with his family. I would suggest counseling for the anxiety. There has to be an underlying cause. Being with your partners family and eating should not be causing you this much stress. Many hugs<3

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Re: Nerves and eating?

I had a mediation app on my phone.
I don't really use it any more because I have zero patience for mediation and find I end up getting MORE anxious, lol, but a lot of people swear by it.

If you are into that, maybe that would help on the train ride or while in your SO's car on the way there?