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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Need some help.
I just found out that my brother & sister in law are unable to conceive. They have been going through about 2 years of treatment & testing & nothing. 
My brother decided to tell me this today.
I have no idea what to say to him.. how to console him or anything. I have never been in that situation so I cant even offer him advice. I feel totally useless.
What can I say to him to make them feel better or what advice can I give them?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.
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Posted 9/25/09 1:57 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Need some help.
Just listen to what they have to say. Don't GIVE ANY advise or "old wives tales" about how/when it will happen. Let them know you want to help them any way you can and be understanding if they/she don't attend child or baby related functions like showers, christenings, etc. If he has opened up to you, he trusts you and is looking for support. Let him or them guide you in what they need from you. Offer them prayers and ask what they need...don't assume anything!! A lot of times support is just listening and being there in a non-judgmental way...you may not have to do or say anything.
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:03 PM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: Need some help.
Thanks... I did a whole lot of listening. I just felt weird because I didn't know what to say back.
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:13 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some help.
Posted by BaseballWidow
Just listen to what they have to say. Don't GIVE ANY advise or "old wives tales" about how/when it will happen. Let them know you want to help them any way you can and be understanding if they/she don't attend child or baby related functions like showers, christenings, etc. If he has opened up to you, he trusts you and is looking for support. Let him or them guide you in what they need from you. Offer them prayers and ask what they need...don't assume anything!! A lot of times support is just listening and being there in a non-judgmental way...you may not have to do or say anything.
I agree word for word. Wonderfully put Shawnna 
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:24 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some help.
Posted by SIBride06
Thanks... I did a whole lot of listening. I just felt weird because I didn't know what to say back.
I know you felt bad b/c you dont know what to say. Its kind of like when someone passes....you wish you had the right words to make everything alright but you just dont. You did the right thing by just listening though. I'm sure he needed that. Sometimes having a shoulder to cry is good therapy. I wish your brother the best of luck.....I truly hope they get their little miracle one day 
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:27 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some help.
So true. There is nothing you can say....
PLEASE don't tell them something like "maybe you are under too much stress." I'm going to CLOCK the next person who says that to me upside the head....or any other IDEA of WHY.
I agree w above. Just listen.
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| Posted 9/26/09 8:16 AM |
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lolipep
My prayers have been answered
Member since 10/08 3642 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Need some help.
Posted by BaseballWidow
Just listen to what they have to say. Don't GIVE ANY advise or "old wives tales" about how/when it will happen. Let them know you want to help them any way you can and be understanding if they/she don't attend child or baby related functions like showers, christenings, etc. If he has opened up to you, he trusts you and is looking for support. Let him or them guide you in what they need from you. Offer them prayers and ask what they need...don't assume anything!! A lot of times support is just listening and being there in a non-judgmental way...you may not have to do or say anything.
this is perfect couldn't have said it any better!
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| Posted 9/26/09 8:22 AM |
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Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!
Member since 5/05 1939 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Need some help.
Firstly, you did the right thing by seeking advice from this board. That alone shows how much you care. You may want to let them know this board is here, as it has helped many of us immensely.
Secondly, I also agree with the advice of BaseballWidow.
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| Posted 9/26/09 10:47 AM |
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wcs3504
my boys
Member since 2/06 2506 total posts
Name:
Wanda (formerly cw0904 on LIW)
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Re: Need some help.
Sometimes listening is the best thing you could do. I agree with Sneezy on introducing them to this board. It helped me in my IF journey tremendously.
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| Posted 9/26/09 4:55 PM |
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shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!
Member since 5/07 2934 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Need some help.
Posted by nycgirl
So true. There is nothing you can say....
PLEASE don't tell them something like "maybe you are under too much stress." I'm going to CLOCK the next person who says that to me upside the head....or any other IDEA of WHY.
I agree w above. Just listen.
Yes! So true...
You just need to be there to listen and let them know that you are a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.
It is the sort of thing that you can't know unless you have been through it. So, saying things like " I know how you feel" wouldn't be appropriate either.
I guess, as everyone else has said, just be there to listen..
I am sorry your brother and his wife are going through this. They are lucky to have a concerned and caring sister like you.
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| Posted 9/26/09 6:20 PM |
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