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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Need potty training help!!!
My 4.5 DS is still having pee accidents daily multiple times a day after over 2 years of potty training
I am over it to say the least. He poops on the toliet fine though he won't wipe himself if he know we are around cause at daycare they told me he wipes himself.
I have dedicated the next 2-3 weeks to get him to stop having accidents. (I arrange to work from home for 2 weeks and I had already planned vacation ) I was going to do this program but it concentrated on withholding bowel movements and couldn't guarantee me that he would not stop peeing. It was a very intense program and while he is constipated he poops on his own so we were not sold on this approach.
What I have been doing this week is making him go every 1-1.5 hours and has had no accidents . 99% sure His problem is he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing and go to the bathroom and this was basically confirmed when I took him to the park after being home all day for the past 3 days and he freaking peed his pants when we had just gone to the bathroom for my DD and I asked him more than once and he said no (in hindsight I probably should have made him go but it wasn't even an hour since the last time he went) he told me he didn't want stop playing
how can I stop this. Do I just keep what I am doing making him go every 1.5 and then maybe next week see if he will go on his own without me prompting him.
Should I be punishing him? I really don't know what to do. My DD was not like this at all!! 1.5 days and trained. (Oh and I tried the 3 day potty method with him when we first started)
Message edited 7/13/2018 10:19:51 AM.
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Posted 7/13/18 10:04 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Need potty training help!!!
My 3.5yo still has accidents after being trained since before age 2. It's the same thing, she doesn't want to stop what she's doing. I don't think I would make him go at set intervals bc that's not teaching him how to handle when he actually needs to go. I try to make accidents disruptive for dd so she realizes it's worth taking 2 minutes to stop and go. If she has an accident I make her go in the bathroom by herself, put her wet clothes in the tub, and wait on the potty while I clean up the floor. Once the floor is cleaned up, then I clean her up and then she has to go upstairs but herself and get on clean clothes. She does not enjoy any of this so that helps discourage her. I know some people say have the kids wipe up the mess too but I can't get on board with that.
I would definitely try to fix the constipation issue right away too. My ped said that can cause pressure on their bladder making it hard to control having pee accidents.
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Posted 7/13/18 10:14 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need potty training help!!!
Posted by MrsT809
My 3.5yo still has accidents after being trained since before age 2. It's the same thing, she doesn't want to stop what she's doing. I don't think I would make him go at set intervals bc that's not teaching him how to handle when he actually needs to go. I try to make accidents disruptive for dd so she realizes it's worth taking 2 minutes to stop and go. If she has an accident I make her go in the bathroom by herself, put her wet clothes in the tub, and wait on the potty while I clean up the floor. Once the floor is cleaned up, then I clean her up and then she has to go upstairs but herself and get on clean clothes. She does not enjoy any of this so that helps discourage her. I know some people say have the kids wipe up the mess too but I can't get on board with that.
I would definitely try to fix the constipation issue right away too. My ped said that can cause pressure on their bladder making it hard to control having pee accidents.
things is the pee doesn't even hit the floor so there is nothing to clean up its not full blown accidents. And he goes regulary now and is on mirlax but from being constipated a while ago he is just not 100% cleared up.
The dr I was gong to do his potty training method actually recommended me get him watch and making him go every 1.5 hours when it goes off which is why I am doing it. He changes himself up he really just doesn't care. For a while he told me he couldn't stop it but its really because he is waiting to long to go cause he just doesn't want to go.
Oh and I forgot to mention. If I let him walk around with no underwear or pants on he will go to the potty every time. Maybe once or twice he peed on the floor but that was a while ago.
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Posted 7/13/18 10:19 AM |
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SLPRunner
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1101 total posts
Name:
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Need potty training help!!!
Are there certain times of day that he has more accidents? I've been noticing that with my 4 year old and I make him go around those times. Most of the time he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing and doesn't have the maturity to just go. We had to see a toilet training specialist because my son was withholding poop a lot. He's a little better now, but I notice when he is withholding or more constipated that he tends to need to pee more or will have accidents.
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Posted 7/13/18 10:56 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need potty training help!!!
Posted by SLPRunner
Are there certain times of day that he has more accidents? I've been noticing that with my 4 year old and I make him go around those times. Most of the time he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing and doesn't have the maturity to just go. We had to see a toilet training specialist because my son was withholding poop a lot. He's a little better now, but I notice when he is withholding or more constipated that he tends to need to pee more or will have accidents.
who was your toilet training specialist? Maybe I should see them. I was referred to Dr. Daum. His program is geared to poop withholding but while my son is constipated he still poops everyday basically and doesn't withhold anymore he did a year and half ago. The reason we didn't want to do it was because he does go and its very very intense. But I did hear he is very successful but he told me there was no guarantee it would stop the peeing so my DH didn't want to do because he felt it was too much.
And no there is no certain time its whenever and sometimes if its a really bad day he will have a couple of accidents within an hour and half. He clearly does not always fully empty when he does go.
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Posted 7/13/18 11:05 AM |
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SLPRunner
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1101 total posts
Name:
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Need potty training help!!!
We saw Dr. Janet Fischel at Stony Brook. She is a Psychologist, not an MD. I'm not sure if she works with kids only with kids with issues with withholding. She does require that you work with a Dr though, so I guess either an Gastro or Urologist.
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Posted 7/13/18 1:43 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need potty training help!!!
Posted by SLPRunner
We saw Dr. Janet Fischel at Stony Brook. She is a Psychologist, not an MD. I'm not sure if she works with kids only with kids with issues with withholding. She does require that you work with a Dr though, so I guess either an Gastro or Urologist.
thank you so much for the information. you may want to checkout Dr. Daum or ask her about him and see if she would recommend him. His program maybe something you would want to consider if he is till having issues.
Here is his site he does take insurance https://doctordaum.com/
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Posted 7/13/18 2:01 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need potty training help!!!
Posted by blu6385
Posted by MrsT809
My 3.5yo still has accidents after being trained since before age 2. It's the same thing, she doesn't want to stop what she's doing. I don't think I would make him go at set intervals bc that's not teaching him how to handle when he actually needs to go. I try to make accidents disruptive for dd so she realizes it's worth taking 2 minutes to stop and go. If she has an accident I make her go in the bathroom by herself, put her wet clothes in the tub, and wait on the potty while I clean up the floor. Once the floor is cleaned up, then I clean her up and then she has to go upstairs but herself and get on clean clothes. She does not enjoy any of this so that helps discourage her. I know some people say have the kids wipe up the mess too but I can't get on board with that.
I would definitely try to fix the constipation issue right away too. My ped said that can cause pressure on their bladder making it hard to control having pee accidents.
things is the pee doesn't even hit the floor so there is nothing to clean up its not full blown accidents. And he goes regulary now and is on mirlax but from being constipated a while ago he is just not 100% cleared up.
The dr I was gong to do his potty training method actually recommended me get him watch and making him go every 1.5 hours when it goes off which is why I am doing it. He changes himself up he really just doesn't care. For a while he told me he couldn't stop it but its really because he is waiting to long to go cause he just doesn't want to go.
Oh and I forgot to mention. If I let him walk around with no underwear or pants on he will go to the potty every time. Maybe once or twice he peed on the floor but that was a while ago.
Gotcha. That's actually kind of where dd is now too. She ends up a little wet but doesn't have full accidents any more. It's hard bc I don't even know when it happens, she either changes herself or goes about her business until we notice and make her change. I guess after such a long time of full blown accidents, this just doesn't phase me that much and my hope is she grows out of it.
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Posted 7/13/18 3:21 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name: Momma <3
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Need potty training help!!!
My son is the same exact age (4 years, 2 months). He had not had an accident ever (since January 2017). Last week, he started having at least 2 accidents a day for 3-4 days. I’m not one to run to the doctor but I took him on Saturday. They checked his urine for both bacteria and sugar. Both negative. The doctor more or less said that accidents are common in boys age 4-6 because they just get so busy doing things. She said I need to remind him to go to the bathroom every 1-2 hours and to tell him to go slowly as he might be rushing and not fully emptying his bladder. Needless to say, he hadn’t had an accident since.
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Posted 7/13/18 8:19 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need potty training help!!!
I would try the Wetstop alarm before heading to the Dr. It was worth every dollar.
It alarms as soon as a bit of pee touches it, and there is a star system. It may be good to reinforce not peeing. I used it for night training (worked really well).
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Posted 7/14/18 4:10 PM |
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