need advice on how to tell DH something...

so we just got back from staying w/my MIL for 4 days

I don't know if any of you saw my vent post a few days ago, but I can't stand the woman! and it will not be easy getting me there again.

how do I convince my DH that we need to stay in a hotel next time we go there? I have brought it up in the past and he shoots it down right away saying that would really hurt her feelings. but what about me? what about my sanity?! everytime we go there she starts with him and they end up fighting for hours

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

I wouldn't bring it up now, honestly. I would wait till a neutral time and tell him something like, "I've been thinking about the next time we go to visit your mom. Next time, I'd like to try staying in a nearby hotel." And leave it at that. If he doesn't want to, just tell him, "I think I've been fair in staying with her the many other times that we've visited, and this time, I'd like to try a hotel." Don't go into anything more than that. His relationship with his mother is probably something I'd leave out of it. If he wants to know why you want to stay in a hotel, just tell him you feel you need your privacy. End of story. That's what I would do.

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

I would tell him straight out that for the sake of your marriage and for your sanity you need to be able to get away when DH and his mom are arguing. I would also say something like when you are cooped up in her house you feel like you have no where to go and feel safe/out of the way. If you were in a hotel, you could at least go to the pool or the bar to get away.
Good luck this might be a hard conversation to have.

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

Posted by prncssrachel

I wouldn't bring it up now, honestly. I would wait till a neutral time and tell him something like, "I've been thinking about the next time we go to visit your mom. Next time, I'd like to try staying in a nearby hotel." And leave it at that. If he doesn't want to, just tell him, "I think I've been fair in staying with her the many other times that we've visited, and this time, I'd like to try a hotel." Don't go into anything more than that. His relationship with his mother is probably something I'd leave out of it. If he wants to know why you want to stay in a hotel, just tell him you feel you need your privacy. End of story. That's what I would do.

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

thanks! that is good advice. I just don't ever want to be stuck there while they go at it for hours and she's in hysterics! can you say DRAMA QUEEN?!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

we had this problem though not with his mom, both of us would never have satyed there lol(sorry just came out lol) but at his cousins, so what i did was pack the things we would have used if we where in a hotel as compaired to a family memebers house and when he saw that he ! let's just say no more family memebers houses again!

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

Sorry you had a bad trip Dina but I would not bring it up now. Let some time pass and when you are both relaxed and in a good mood I would bring it up again.

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...

Re: need advice on how to tell DH something...