alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
|
Need a laugh???
I just got this hysterical bulletin on myspace...
"When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you
know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone
call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man
answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, This is Chris. Could I please speak
with Robyn Carter?
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear Get the
right f***ing number and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe tha t anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the wrong number again.
When the same guy answ ered the phone, I yelled "You're an *******" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ******* next to it and
put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ******* calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller, ID Program? He yelled "NO," and
slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot .
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a For Sale sign in
his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the
number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW ******* too. I said, Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?
Yes, it is, he said. Can you tell me where I can see it I asked. Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out in front. What's your name, I asked? My name is Don Hansen, he said. When's a good time to catch you, Don? I'm home every evening after five. Listen, Don, can I tell you something? "Yes," "Don,
you're an *******!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1.
"Hello." You're an *******! (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there," he asked. "Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you," he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"*******, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my
black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said,"Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******, and hung up."
Then I called ******* #2.
Hello, he said.
"Hello, *******," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are."
"You'll what," I said.
"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed. I answered,"Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd., Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down
in Mowbray Blvd., Vaucluse.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there justin time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better."
|
