Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I know the answer will vary depending on everyone's needs, but the cost of 2 in daycare/school plus the cost of my commute leaves me with only a few hundred dollars a month.

I love working, and I love what I do, but it seems a little nuts to me to work 40 + hours a week for so little in the end.

Thoughts?

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

That is why I stopped working in the first place. I brought home about $2000 a month and it wasn't worth it for us. We figured that since I wasn't getting paid for my maternity leave we would use that as a trial period. We didn't struggle at all.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

it's all about the career potential down the road... will being out of the workforce for a few years kill your income potential when you return? does that matter to you?

when i had DD#1 my income was pathetic, (so was my career) so it was a no brainer for me. i always knew i wanted to be home with kiddos for a few years regardless, but having a joke of a job made the decision quite easy. the plan as of now is i will go back to work when DD#2 is in 1st grade, but my income will be used to pay for college. we will still live our day to day expenses from DH's salary.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I was thinking of hiring someone from a local college (Adelphi or Hofstra) to work for us in the house. I may need to hire 2 different people depending on their class schedules. You can find students in early childhood or nursing or even psychology. Or even some former daycare teachers that hate the stress of watching so many kids for so little money.

ETA: Not sure of your situation, but for me it's not career path or need to get out of the house, it's b/c of the type of salary plus bonus and benefits I get - it would cost me so much more to stop working and I'd have nothing coming in to pay for the things I'd need to buy (i.e. a car, gas and insurance) . Everyone's situation is different. If it makes sense to keep working financially - then do what is best. For some it makes sense to stop working, for me at best it would make sense to work part or flex time, not quit altogether. Plus in this economy I'd worry if DH lost his job we'd have nothing coming in... at least if I'm p/t I can seek to add hours. You have to know your industry, mine is too competitve to leave altogether and expect to come back later. If your's is more "forgiving" then that's a consideration too. Just a different perspective.

Message edited 3/31/2009 1:34:48 PM.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I really think it depends on your situation. Some people continue to work not for the money, but so they do not lose their position in their career. Others work because they really enjoy it and find it hard staying home.

Personally I was always a career person and I never really thought I would be a sahm. Then when I started thinking about having children I just could not imagine someone else taking care of them during the day. I am lucky because I can take a leave of absence up to 4 years for each baby and retain my tenure and position.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I am fortunate enough to be able to work 3 days a week from the office. However, I still pay for 2 in daycare.

For me it was about not losing my place in the work force (I am an attorney) as well as the fact that I just can't imagine not going to work. I am not cut out to be a SAHM. As you said, i do this for a couple of hundred dollars a month after paying for daycare but to me its worth it. If I took a few years off, I feel that it would be very difficult to get back in the field without taking a substantial pay cut.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I think it depends on your long term professional goals. Do you want to work and continue and enjoy what you do? It will seems like a long time, but after the kids start school those daycare bills will practically disappear and your take home salary will be back to normal, minus some for after school care. If you couold take or leave your job, then maybe take time off until the kids are in school, if not I'd continue to work if you are the type of person that sees yourself working beyond the baby years.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I don't think anyone is surprised that I'm a huge advocate on continuing to work after having children. I've said the death or divorce option a million times so I won't go into it again.

Does your career afford the opportunity to be out a few years & come back at the same or better level? Even if it's a few hundred dollars at the end of the month, IMO it still pays with the possiblity of raises, bonuses, benefits, workplace training, etc. - particularly in an economy where there are major cutback & unemployment rates are skyrocketing. It's a huge advantage to have that second income whether you're socking that money away for a rainy day/house or if DH's job stability changes.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

This is why after DS#2 was born I had to resign. I would have only brought home $177 a month if you subtracted all the costs. In the end , DH and I decided that I would stay home. I have NO IDEA how we do it every month. But, we really wanted a family and we have to sacrifice a lot to do it.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Reason I only work PT is b/c it would be too expsensive to put both DDs in daycare.. it wasnt even worth it for us to put first dd in before 2nd arrived.

It would be great if both dh and I could work FT.. would beable to afford a house then.. but b/c daycare is soooo exspensive not an option

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I only have DS and I work PT. I gave up the FT after 6 months I worked FT. I found it was not worth for me financially. Too many hours out of the house for only a few hundred left at the end of the month. While some people may need the extra $400 or so per month, it was not working for both DH and I. He had to rush every night to get DS at daycare. So he was worried everytime the trains would be late. He only had a few minutes to spare every night before daycare closed. I was away 45-50 hours per week. It was nuts. We don't feel as stressed out.

I work PT. No more daycare for us. We are not missing the $$$. We just cut back on several things like take out, etc. Instead of thinking we "cut back" we think of it as eating "healthier". There was very little $$ difference anyway between daycare/working FT and no daycare/working PT.

I love that I still work. I still bring $$$. I still have an active resume.

Like others said, I do need to make my own $. Whether it's divorce, DH becoming ill and disabled, death, etc.. I feel better knowing I am not out of the loop though.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Message edited 3/31/2009 8:56:54 PM.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

To answer a few questions:
-My career is in the toilet anyway. My product is struggling and it has gotten worse since I have been out on maternity. My skill set needs to be updated and quickly in order to stay relevant in my field. (which is super-frustrating since I am only out of school for 5 years in May). This cannot happen if I am working FT & taking care of my DSs.

-I would be able to get DS #1 into a less expensive program in September, and it would make more sense financially to go back, but I am not even sure I would have a job to go back to. There have been a ton of layoffs at my job in my division, so I may have to re-think my career and how to apply my knowledge to another product.

- We can live on just DHs salary, but would not have my money to pay for peripherals. If I find that I cannot live without the extras, I would try to find something part-time with hours that would not require any daycare for the kids.

Thanks everyone for your help

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

with my salary and the amount I pay for daycare, it makes sense for me to work

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

Re: Moms of 2...personal question about going back to work.

I debate this when I have a second. I've crunched numbers and done pro and con lists but in the end I know I'll have to make the real decision when it's relevant (like when I actually have 2 ).
When I look at the numbers, I know I can stay home for a bit - maybe a year, but then I worry about reentering the workforce and leaving a pretty cushy position at this point (I get in b/t 9:30-10AM, I dip out early if I need to and I can do my job with my eyes closed - although not always a good thing since I used to look forward to a challenge). Anyway, I also have all of the concerns of not contributing to our future, and the what ifs, etc.
THEN, I feel guilty knowing that we could actually make it work for me to stay home for a bit and I sometimes like I might not want to.

Given your situation, the way you outline it, I would be more inclined to stay home for a while. But, it's not an easy decision - certainly not black & white!